Siltblog Plays....Invisible Jukebox! This Month; Gordon Gilbey-Burnett.

Superfan Gordon Gilbey-Burnett has been rockin the music scene since before rubber hit the road. Among other things, he claims to have given David Crosby his first line of coke. He also says that he was drawn into rock & roll initially as a child clairvoyant. But one person didn't want to listen. "I told the Big Bopper, I said 'Bop, don't get on that plane', recounts Burnett, 'I gotta funny feelin about this"! In the mid 70's he had a short lived band, Habeas Corpuscle, who never got around to playing live or even recording, which has left Burnett bitter, yet reflective. "I have forgotten more about music than you'll ever know"! boast's the Geeg after a few negroni's. And who knows, maybe he's right. For the past few yrs, Burnett has been frantically buying & trading contempo outsider releases, amassing a gigantic collection of New Weird America tapes, cdr's, cd's, lp's, lathe cuts, 10"ers, 7"ers, 3"ers, roll calls, et al. If you fall under that umbrella of sound, chances are he's got yr shit. "I have separated them into 2 camps" he explains, "DC & Marvel. For instance, band's like Wolf Eyes or Hair Police, they're DC. Matt Valentine, Wooden Wand, that sorta stuff is lumped into Marvel. I can't explain it. It's just easier that way." Dude, I hear ya! Presently Burnett is busy filling a notebook (in blue ink) w/the names & titles of all the music he has ever heard in his life. And in conjunction, he is also drawing charcoal illustrations of every band he can remember, whether he liked them or not. This Jukebox took place in a driveway in Camden, New Jersey.

Mouthus Side
Cousins Of Reggae/Mouthus Split lp (OESB, 2006)


GGB-Let's see.....this is definitely a new release, right?
SB- Yes, it's just out.
GGB-I recognize it. It's DC material. Hmmm...Is it Double Leopards?
Sb-No.
GGB-Skaters?
SB-No.
GGB-Dead Machines?
SB-No.
GGB-Magik Markers?
SB-No.
GGB-Hair Police?
SB-No.
GGB-Burning Star Core?
SB-No.
GGB-Hototogisu?
SB-No.
GGB-Hive Mind?
SB-No.
GGB-Wolf Eyes?
SB-No.
GGB-Kites?
SB-No.
GGB-16 Bitch Pileup?
SB-No.
GGB-Black Dice?
SB-No.
GGB-Prurient?
SB-No.
GGB-Fat Worm Of Error?
SB-No.
GGB-Axoltol?
SB-No.
GGB-Vertonen?
SB-No.
GGB-Metalux?
SB-No.
GGB-Lightning Bolt?
SB-No.
GGB-Gang Wizard?
SB-No.
GGB-Mouthus?
SB-CORRECT! How did you know?
GGB-Oh, that was easy. They have a sound that is instantly recognizable.

Magik Markers-Inverted Belgium
(1 sided lp, Hospital 2006)
GGB-(immediately) I know this, it's a trick! It's the Mouthus record again!
SB-No, I wouldn't do that. Hint, it's new as well.
GGB-(puzzled) Really? Wow, okay.....is it Cousins Of Reggae?
SB-No.
GGB-Skaters?
SB-No.
GGB-NNCK?
SB-No.
GGB-Lightning Bolt?
SB-No.
GGB-Sunburned Hand Of The Man?
SB-No.
GGB-Workbench?
SB-No.
GGB-Wolf Eyes?
SB-No.
GGB-Double Leopards?
SB-No?
GGB-Hototogisu?
SB-No.
GGB-Dead Machines?
SB-No.
GGB-You sure it's not Mouthus?
SB-Yes. I mean, no! It's not Mouthus.
GGB-Hive Mind?
SB-No.
GGB-Axoltol?
SB-No.
GGB-Kites?
SB-No.
GGB-Burning Star Core?
SB-No.
GGB-Magik Markers?
SB-AMAZING! Your a natural at this.
GGB-Hey, when you've been around the block as many times as I have, the good shit just sticks out. Trust me!

Tested by Roland Woodbe. Photo by Ansel Adams

Some Peoples Just Ain't Humans.... Major Stars 'Syntoptikon' LP

I must say that I have been a fan of Twisted Village since the days when I was holed up in an attic in Milton, Connecticut way back when (translation: once upon a time).Back then, I'd been runnin a milkshake stand down in Ridgefield & just for fun, I'd spike'm w/a couple've bumps of fresh nutmeg. Ya know, to help make the day more interesting. Anyway, it got to makin people sick & once they figured out the culprit, my goose was cooked. So I hightailed it outta there & up to Milton to lay low. One summer's day I went for a drive & came across a bake sale outside the Cavalry Church there in Litchfield. I stopped & had a look around. There was a lot of delectable pies 'n cobblers to be had & everyone was right nice. Then off up under a maple tree I seen a beardo standin behind a card table full of records. They wasn't in any order, just scattered all over. I said hello & he just nodded his head. He was eatin a persimmon & seemed to be enjoyin it. So I got to lookin through what he had. There was lots of lp's by Harvey Mandel, Rory Gallagher, Robin Trower, Quicksilver Messenger Service, Ten Years After, etc. Then I came across this homemade lookin thing that read CRYSTALLIZED MOVEMENTS & the title was 'Mind Disasters'. There weren't no prices on any of'em so I held it up & said "how much?" The dude was really gettin into that persimmon 'cause seeds was spillin down both cheeks 'n all he could say was "umnumnumnumnumnum...." or somethin to that effect. He pulled his right hand out've his pocket, help up three fingers & nodded his head again. I threw him a fiver & skedaddled back to the car. So I go 'n play the record & man was I hooked. These guys was conjurin up a psychedelic maelstrom that nobody was hip to at the time. It got so I was playin it every day, louder 'n louder, till one time the cops come by & told me to knock it off. I could tell one've of'em had TF ("that feeling") 'n while they just scolded me, I knew it was time to go. Parts unknown....here I come.
I won't bore you w/the what-comes-next part. The bottom line is the main fella in that band, Wayne Rogers, hooked up another likeminded sonic garrotter, Kate Biggar & for this many years they have been makin outstanding records of panic-psych under a myriad of aliases, none of which have been more incendiary than Major Stars. As a quartet they were pretty unstoppable but a little while back they went 'n upped the ante, promotin long time bassist Tom Leonard to 3rd guitar, bringin in another bassist, drummer & fulltime singer. In the words of Mike Rutherford "And then there were six". To say that the latest from this sextet, titled Syntoptikon, is their greatest release to date is like saying it is the best record they've ever made. It's that good! Startin off w/(new) singer Sandra Barrett spinnin a tale about 'Cinnamon & Lightning', the guitars then proceed to howl down the field like a rabid scrum of rugby jackals, 3 ravenous carnivores whose appetite to eat you head cannot be whetted no matter how much lunch money you've got janglin in your pockets. All the while the rhythm section of drummer Casey Keenan 'n bassman Dave Dougan are gettin splattered w/blood & innards but it only seems to fuel the feral lust. And so it goes. Sandra comes out, sings some more then goes 'n unleashes the rest of'em who proceed to burn & pound a path down the highway to hell like it was a goddamn Satanic pig roast. And on the last track where they almost veer into '21st Century Schizoid Man' it's really just them kicking the livin shit outta effigies of Fripp 'n Lake for everything they recorded after that. And who could blame'em? Not me, shit I'm gonna spin it again!
And they've mobilized this behemoth as I write. Tomorrow, 4/28/06, catch'em in Brooklyn at a place called The Syrup Room w/Endless Boogie & Om & on Saturday 4/29 in Philadelphia at the Khyber w/Bardo Pond. You can get the lp locally at the Phila Record Exchange & if you live elsewhere write'em at http://www.twistedvillage.com/
Make sure & ask Angela to personalize yr box w/a portrait of one of her favorite Civil War generals. She'll be pleased as punch that you did!

Sometimes Ya Gotta Cough To Get Off.....Burnt Hills 'To Your Head' lp

ConDemek fans might disagree, but the germ for the contemporary Albany fringe scene would've been the lil group that did, Erl. Their debut 7" (& subsequent lp) was a soupy, Smashchords based cauldron of simmering, derailed twang that functioned as a seismic rumble throughout the "Cradle of the Union", a call for all likeminded-whether they be cityfied or country fried--to come forth & be counted. The results were estimable & the Erl label was founded. Then sometime in the mid 90's, there was a schism, Erl dissolved & out of the bubbling crude came a new & more resilient taskmangler, Flipped Out. The label has torched a few different numbers through the past decade; Ziamaluch, Connie Archer & Paraquat Earth Band, but the latest, Burnt Hills, might be stickiest of the icky yet to function in the Eastern NY junction.
Comprised of 6 guitars (known here as blutar, gertar, bootar...you get the idea) & 3 drummers (skins, skips 'n skids), Burnt Hills is a raw, rambunctious floom ride through a gauntlet of sharred metal & splintered wood white caps. Comprised of four (non banded) tracks, the run is akin to shooting the unchartered rapids of Vermonster's 'Instinctively Inhuman' lp in a bong-canoe insulated w/Global Unity Orchestra records to absorb the shock. In the dark! It's a sprawling 'n seemingly rudderless trip which at times feels like it's gonna crash into bits. But somehow they manage to navigate themselves back into an ebb 'n flow & as the final track fades out in a blaze, you know that while these herb grinders're gone, they ain't to be forgotten, even though they left only 99 numbered copies of this debut lp as their legacy. Those of you who're curious about this bootiful cacaphony should contact http://www.fusetronsound.com/ or http://www.flippedoutrecords.com/
for they are sure to go quicker than a bag of bammy at a bee-in.

Jussi Jussi Jussi, Jussi Jussi Juice.....Circle's 'Arkades' LP

I will admit that my interest in Circle has been marred w/doubts 'n pain through the yrs. I'd say I pretty much lost track after the Bad Vuguum days but occasionally I'd catch wind of their doings (the Squealer reish cd comes to mind) but them goins on wasn't enough for me to separate my cash from my wallet. A couple yrs pass & I dunno, I lived my life & I don't think I thought aboute'm even once. Then about a month ago I came across the massively brilliant double lp 'Sunset' & suddenly I understood that like any unit worth their salt, Circle attack w/the sun at their back. On this one, they got all grizzled up & desperado-Jesse James style-then went out & hijacked a train full've lucre on it's way to Fort Rock & proceeded to rob all the prog & fuck all the metal. Oh the humanity! I am not ashamed to say I surrendered my 35$ in cashish GLADLY to the record dealer for a copy of Sunset. Actually, I've ended up takin all kind've odd jobs to raise extra money so's I wouldn't miss their next vinyl outings. I am available for croquet instructions or if you need a ringer for your next volleyball or pingpong outing, I'm your man (we can discuss money later).
So just the other day I come across this here copy of the latest Circle album on the Fourth Dimension label entitled 'Arkades'. I put it on the turntable & within seconds of the needle droppin, I was crippled by an overwhelming sense've deja vu. I had heard this before! I mean, I recognized this as music that had been spinnin in my head for months & I couldn't place it. I propped myself up next to our la-z-boy & got a better look at the cover. "Live on WFMU" it read. Then I got a gander at the back cover & seen Brian Turner's name as the daddy of some liner notes & then all the cows come home. Ya see, I'd had this blood transfusion back in late September at Western Baptist Hospital. I'd been cuttin firewood barefoot earlier in the summer & unbeknownst to me, a tic had gone & burrowed itself in the top of my foot. No cards or letters please! I feel dumb enough as it is. Anyhow, I was sicker than shit come Labor Day & no idea why. Went to the doctors & they told me I had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. So they admitted me & I had to have this transfusion. It was done on the morning of Tues., Sept. 27th, 2005. I guess I come outta my grog sometime after 2pm (cst) & the nurse asked me if there's anything she could do for me. "Put on the Brian Turner Show" I gasped & feebly pointed to my computer. She hooked it up, got it to a respectable volume & left the room. I remember layin there, driftin in 'n out of consciousness while the Circle set was aired, havin all kind've crazy dreams & visions. It sounded like the psychedelic sides of Ummagumma all playin at once & sometimes Mika or one of the other vocalist would sing like John Kay speakin in tongues to a rattlesnake. It was all very hypnotic & subtley powerful but when I come to, I thought I'd conjured up the whole thing in my head (I'd like to get the name of that anethtesiologist. Kudo's to your heavy hand). But no, thankfully it was for real & here it is, documented on vinyl. And ya know what? It's way more witchy, outer stratos & psychagnarlic than I remember. In other words, don't listen to this in the dark! Unless your inside a pentagram or somethin. These bogeymen bite 'n there ain't no tetanus shot that'll cure that venom. I mean, that one line on the back says it all; "We are from Finland & we only climbed down from trees twenty years ago". So run, don't walk! There still might be time to find a copy of this at http://www.fusetronsound.com/ or http://www.midheaven.com/
And be sure to check out the Mighty Brian Turner Show which is aired every Tuesday afternoon from 3-6 pm (est) on WFMU. His upcoming on air performances are gonna rock & check out his archives while your nosin around; http://www.wfmu.org/
Just make sure you bring some extra time. You might get locked in for a while.

Bring Me The Head Of Ritchie Venus....Jerusalem And The Starbaskets split lp

In the latter part've the 90's there was no escapin the Elephant 6 Collective. Scribe's 'n scribblers alike could not contain their hyperbole when describin whatever band was in vogue from said confederation. The word "genius" was tossed around like a cat turd outta Brian Wilson's sandbox, especially whenever de facto leader Jeff Magnum's name was brought up. I dunno, I never bought into it. I saw one of them bands-forget the name now-in 2000 or so 'cause The Clean was openin up & let me tell ya, they was the best part've that show. Couple yrs later I'm in some bar & a band commence's to play & they've got this cool bailing wire 'n bubble gum pop thing goin, a veritable Christchurch rumble if you will. It was pretty great. Turns out it's Jeff Magnum on drums & some other folks. We talked for a minute & he said that yeah, the old NZ pop sound (read; South Island) was a big inspiration & while I can't say I ever heard it on anything else he's done, it was as right as rain that night.
So cut to 2006 & this split lp by Jerusalem & The Starbaskets (b/w Skarekrauradio), a band who have seemingly looked to the constellations of the southern hemisphere & used bins around Columbia, Mo in search of similar inspiration & motivation. Their side of this lp is the finest appropriation of the ChCh sound since.....since the last good one! One thing you gotta understand when you attempt to chugalug is that the Velvet Underground is the life blood w/'Loaded' at the heart of it all. The other is that the 13th Floor Elevators (notably the 1st lp) function as the medulla oblongata. Between the two of'em, they gave the city "that sound". Believe me it's there, from Bill Direen to Pin Group, 25 Cents, Max Block, Scorched Earth Policy, The Puddle, Terminals & even the non Flying Nun bands like Riptoids, Les Bottletops & Brother Love. And while Jerusalem & The Starbaskets're closer to the Mason Dixon line than the international date one, soundwise they might as well have a return address somewhere on the Canterbury Plains. And their cover of Roky's 'Unforced Peace' would make even a seasoned sodbuster like Dwayne Zarakov rethink his retirement clause.
The Skarekrauradio side on the other hand is thick w/it's detuned homage to DIY Americana fringe-psych & alt. (lifestyle) punk, most notably Meatjoy. Don't know who that is? Imagine a female fronted & feminist motivated Wingtip Sloat. Hey, don't blame me, your the one that asked. Actually, I always kinda liked that Meatjoy album. I haven't played it in about 10 years & since I feel like I just heard it, I got no compulsion to go & look for it for at least another five. So if I could say anything positive about Skarekrauradio it's "thank's for that !"
But anyway, that Jerusalem & The Starbaskets side.....it's worth price of admission. This is a ltd ed. lp of 200. You can try www.aquariusrecords.org or go direct to http://www.apoprecords.com/

The Doctors X-Rayed My Head And Found Nothing....Ocrilim Octis 'Ocrilorx-2' 7" ep

Twenty years ago, the only way you were likely to come across a record like this was via RRR. And chances are that only the most ardent collectors of difficult music would've payed any attention. They would come into the store, a 'want list' locked in a huge spiral notebook containing hundreds of pages of cross referenced records would be opened to a specific spot & said purchase would be duly noted as GOT by the black horizontal line of a magic marker. Then they'd ask to see the Current 93 record hanging on the wall. They'd study it intently & start to quietly chatter, you know, like a cat does when it see's a bird. And suddenly they would recover, hand the record back to you & off they'd go. Bye!
Ten years ago you might've found a record such as this on Stomach Ache. It would've had a charming moniker such as 'The Tipplers' or maybe even something like 'Ligeti Demos' & chances are only the most ardent collectors of marginal noise or the truly hornswoggled would give a shit. They'd come into the store w/a copy of Muckraker, purchase said record & circle it in the studious discography Mr. Marley had compiled. Then they'd ask to see the Amon Duul record on the wall. They'd stare at it like it was some magic orb, then want to know why it was so expensive, ask if you took checks & when you said "no", split. Later!
Last week I found this record sitting in a singles bin of new releases & saw it was on Troubleman. I've got a few records on that label in my collection so I figured what the hell? I had a gift certificate & was hard pressed to find anything I wanted. I looked at it for a minute, saw it was limited to 500 & bought two! On the way out I asked the clerk if he had any Wildman Steve records & when he said "who"?, I was outta there. See ya!
So I get this back, open it up & it's got about a million tracks on it, all of which sound like false starts to some bogue metal song. I wouldn't say it's difficult because...what's the point? It's not harsh, it's not even bad, it's just....pointless. Unless the point is to make people nostalgic for that Flipper track 'Brainwash'. If that's what's behind this, than Mr. Ocrilim (or whoever) is a genius! If not, then he's just half assed his way into the record books w/a sad, contemporary counterpart. Another dud, oh well. Revisionist history is the new postmodernism & in the words of Det. Tony Baretta, "you can take that to the bank."
www.troublemanunlimited.com

It Ain't The Size Of The Dog In The Fight, But The Size Of The Fight In The Dog....Ex-Cocaine's 'Keep America Mellow' lp

The Supersonic Sounds Of Missoula Montana.....has a ring to it, doncha think? Ummmm, unless we're talkin about a promise ring, I'd have to say "no". Then again, I am unfamiliar w/the Garden City scene. It might be full've New Weird America bedwetters & Noise undertakers. And doesn't every college town nowadays have at least two crunchy dirt/grindcore/thrash/metal bands to contend with? Oh the days of the flat keg & basement mosh pit! And you'd think that Drag City'd have a scout plopped up high in a catbird seat somewhere in town. So how he (or she) has missed Ex-Cocaine is one of life's fleeting mysteries. But takin the scout's honor, maybe the band just didn't want to be found.
Ex-Cocaine is the practically unheralded duo of Mike C & Ramirez on drums & guitars respectively. Their sole lp, 'Keep America Mellow' has been released in 2 editions of 100 on Ramirez's Killertree label. With those kind've numbers, it's hard to build a radar to fly under, so you might wanna flag down a checkbook & grab a copy while you can. I'm afraid it's awesome.Working pretty much from a template of congas & electric fuzz, these heavy mellow bro's conjure up swirling eddy's of lo-fi, DIY psych that are pretty unbeatable. Were we to have a séance-or simply break out a Ouija Board-to investigate previous blazers of their trail, we might see, hear or spell out such luminaries as Steve Peregrine Took, Stone Harbour, Parameter, Tim Buckley or (Jandek's) Units. During the cover of Roy Harper's 'Another Day', I swear I could almost make out the misty visage of Lou & Eric from the 1st Sebadoh lp & you know...it wasn't a bad thing. Such is the force of positive vibes that surge through the veins of this album.
So check'em out via the Killertree website. And while your at it, invest in the Universal Indians lp that's just been released. If you ever wondered what the American cross between Highrise & Dead C sounded like, drop the needle on 'Monster Approach' & put your brain at ease. Go in peace to; http://www.killertree.com/

Duty Now And The Future.... Angry Angles & The 7" Moderne

I don't know about you, but I continue to be floored by the number of great punk-ist bands comin outta Memphis these days.A regular, startling, goddamn phenomenon. It is like a distillery the way they're churnin'em out down there. How come? Is it 'cause of the King? Wait...whuuuuuuuut? Am I Greil Marcus all of a sudden? You could say it all started w/the Grifters, but since this ain't Magnet, let's leave the scribe-writin & history lessons to a soul patch & just wave "okay". Personally, I think the honor of 'patient zero' goes to the Oblivians. It is said that anybody who ever saw the Oblivians in Memphis went on to start 5 bands. Alix Brown 'n Jay Lindsey must've seen'em a bunch 'cause their outfit, Angry Angles, dish out a brand've art & punk damaged brisket that is not only the best in town, but on the planet in general.
If you don't know who I'm talkin about that's okay. Like alot of the brethren in the delta, they prefer the oft maligned format of 7" vinyl to convey their hector. They also run their own label, Shattered, for which to massage said medium. My 1st encounter with'em was via the radio. Terre T played 'Stab You Dead' & I just about flipped. It was the perfect hybrid of Crime 'n the Urinals I'd been waitin 25 yrs to hear! I figured right that Goner would have it & ordered one straight away. Turns out it's their debut 7", a 4 song ep. Wouldn't you know it, but they do a cover of 'Black Hole' too(& it's rad)! A second ep followed on a German label & it's pretty killer as well. On that one, they manage to slap around Devo's 'Blockhead' with such conviction that if I was still on the boat, I'da thought it was theirs. The latest 7" has just come out & it's another stunner. On the Plastic Idol label, this' another 3 songer, including a version of Wire's 'The 15th' which they nail. The original material shreds, the covers're smart & I'm told they absolutely destroy live. What more could you ask for?
So there you have it. For the few of us out there that're keep stats, I'd rate Angry Angles the best American 7" band since Halo Of Flies. Simper if you want, but you know what I mean. It's conceivable there's somebody between I've missed but I ain't gonna sweat it. I'm just glad I didn't drop the ball on these guys. And you shouldn't either. Order direct from http://www.shatteredrecords.net/ or if you can't find it there, try http://www.goner-records.com/
Either way, don't be afraid to buy a ton of other stuff too. It's all good. And listen to Cherry Blossom Clinic on WFMU every Saturday from 3-6pm. You will definitely be learned when you do.

All You Need Is Ignorance And Confidence And The Success Is Sure...My Whole Hand Was Wet 7" ep

These days, seems like the thing to do is mine a grubstake that's full of crackle, hook up a generator w/some effect pedals 'n whatnot & just write yourself a charter to your own little noise fiefdom. And for good measure, recall the days of yore when knights were bold so's maybe somebody'll see your sparks from far away. Let's face it, it's no fun bein a sheriff if there ain't no one for to impress w/your badge of tin.The label said something about this fitting uncomfortably between the I Hate The Pop Group & KBD-DIY comp's & that's not wrong, though it sounds more prone to the former than the latter. But those comps highlight the halcyon days of noise & stumble-bum punk. And now, some 20 yrs after the fact, those track're considered classics. I guess this might sound akin to Brent Wilcox or Storm Bugs. It's been a while. Honestly, it sounded more like the anxious jabber of an anesthetized Genesis P-Orridge in between snips of cock 'n cooter enhancement. One side sounds like GPO channeling a Jim Jones White Nights monologue while the other is a blurry list of "things to do" once the operation is a success. Is it a classic? I cannot say, for I am not a deputy in the territory. Nor am I a lineman for the county. If you think your made of stronger stuff, then I hereby encourage you to point yr pony in the direction of http://www.weirdforest.com/ & there you shall find the hamlet of which I speak.

You Say Tomato & I Say Oh Really?...Mark Tucker's 'Batstew' lp

This is one of those lp's that I've heard about for years. People'd say to me "Roland, it's right up your alley" or "Roland it's terrible. You'd love it!" but when I'd ask'em to describe it they'd go doe-eyed & get all pickle faced 'n say "you just have to hear it for yourself." Well finally, thanks to the De Stijl label, I have. And let me tell you something; I am perplexed about what I heard. Mostly, I guess, 'cause I ain't hearin things what other scribes have insinuated I should. Department Store Santas? Desperate Bicycles? Not in my kung fu village! To me this lp teeters on a precipice between euphoria & anguish. It is certainly the work of an unstable mind & tortured soul. I mean, you can almost feel Tucker's circuits shorting out as the record progresses. You don't need to read the insert to hear that! There's alot of sadness & confusion goin on too. It's a record about a guy's love for his car. It's a record about guy's love for his girl. There's a song that's evidently an ode to homosexual love (not that there's anything wrong w/that). The guy records himself talkin to his car, slammin the doors, the girl whispers & sings along sometimes. Yeah, it has it's moments; like the naif, art brut-ish noisescapes that Tucker occasionally creates or like the dingaling song at the end of side 2 that's about a Cadillac (among other things) that eventually crumbles into a fuzzy guitar "freakout". It is one odd fucker of an lp, there's no denyin that. But how someone-& I won't say who-winds up comparin it to the albums by Department Store Santas & Desperate Bicycles is beyond me. Oh sure, those're nice lures your tossin out there, but they're inappropriate. Those bands lp's are challenging. Tucker's is more challenged. Maybe what they meant to say was that one day Mark Tucker saw someone dressed as a department store Santa, went banana's, then desperately rode a bicycle to the mental institution. I dunno. I wasn't there. If I was to sell you this record I would say "imagine a record that sounds like someone who claims to be Daniel Johnston who rerecorded Smile" or "imagine if Larry Fischer had been commissioned to do the Pink Moon lp as literally a Volkswagen commercial". Would you buy it? I know I would because that sounds like something that's right up my alley & the descriptions are terrible enough that I'd probably love it.
That said, Batstew is certainly a unique album. I dunno about a masterpiece, but shorter people are prone to exaggeration. And that's a fact! I'm glad I got the hear it & props to De Stijl for reissuing it. You can find it at; www.fusetronsound.com

The Past Is Never Dead, It Is Not Even Past...Birchville Cat Motel's 'Glass Harvest Mason' 7"

I could be imaginin things, but I thought there was a time when Birchville Cat Motel was a band. You know, with band members, people who played instruments like guitars 'n drums & made music that was rock oriented. But not so long ago I went to a concert they was playin & alls it was was this ample little fella w/a beard pushin buttons on some sort've a machine outta which emanated lots of harsh noises. He may have had sparklers goin too, or candles or somethin. I remember a bright orange light, a glow if you will. Mr. Birchville Cat (aka Campbell Kneale) might've even been wearin some kinda hat. And maybe even a cape. I felt like I was at a little kids magic party, 'cept all the kids were over 21. But they sat there cross-legged on that filthy floor & watched him, like at any minute he was gonna pull out some balloons & start makin animals. Didn't seem like much to me, so I went back to the bar & just listened. 'Course it wasn't what I'd paid to hear, but it was okay. And the more Rolling Rocks I knocked back, the less I thought about it. Not a bad night all in all.
So the other day I was fishin around a box of 7" records & I came across this one. It was a starkly attractive package w/a fabricated handmade sleeve, done in a small batch 370 copies so I figured what the hell? Five dollars didn't seem like a lot for a trip down memory lane. But what I heard took me a lot farther back than some shitty club & a fat wizard w/a noise box. The 1st track sounded almost exactly like the time me & my cousin Harmon (who everybody called 'Pooter') was draggin this ancient tractor across a cow pasture. We was pulling the livin hell outta that thing & it groaned 'n rattled 'n wheezed & we thought it was just gonna fall apart right there. We'd got it almost to the barn when I reckon we humped the thing over a nest've mud daubers & then they came at us all nasty & buzzin & we got to runnin so's not to get stung. They got Pooter pretty good, but I jumped in a creek & cut the shit outta my right leg on the edge of a rock just below the knee. As I sat there all bleedin, listenin to the whoosh of the water across the rocks & feelin the extreme pain that was shootin through my brain I thought to myself that is the last time I let that lardass sonofabitch talk me into something so stupid. Pooter ended up dyin from them stings so I never did find out why we was draggin that damn tractor around in the 1st place. The dumb shit.
The other side of this record took me back to a time when me 'n The Stepp Brothers whose names were Darry & Esto (I ain't makin this up!) went down to Lafferty's Pond to race some motor boats we'd carved outta corn cobs. We'd rigged up these little battery operated outboard motors for'em & was lookin to have some fun. Now, we had to go there around dusk as to not draw attention. Them little boats hummed around on the water, the frogs & crickets were croakin & chirpin & it was feelin like a good time. Then Darry Stepp picked up a mud clod & whipped it at his brother, hittin him in the eye w/such force I thought he blinded him. Esto howled w/pain & then he charged Darry & the both of'em went into the pond wrestlin & fightin & screamin at each other. I grabbed my corn boat & hightailed it up to the Lafferty's house to tell'em what was going on. Nobody was home so I ran out to the road to flag down a car. Ol' Sam Jefferies stopped & I told him what was happenin & he said he'd get right home & call the fire department. By the time they got down to the pond both brothers was dead. They'd drowned each other. Their little boats was unharmed though & had moored themselves over near a bunch've cat tail weeds. The frogs 'n crickets had long since shut up & now it was just sirens & walkie-talkie's that was makin any noise. I took them boats w/me & put'em in a box in my closet. Eventually my mom threw'em away but by then they weren't worth nothin. Bugs had eatin through'em & the batteries had rusted. The end.
So what I'm sayin is I got Campbell Kneale to thank for dredgin up all those horrible fuckin memories. I guess I could've just written "this record sounds like a lawn mower on the moon" but then you'd have never got to read about my life & besides a lawn mower on the moon sounds awful futuristic to me. And while I can't say what the future holds in store for this record, I'd bet it's not long for this world. Contact; www.vegliarecords.com