Wee Wee Manure, How Do You Douche?.....More Reviews!

Bonjour! We's just got back from a week long trip to Marseilles over in France where I participated in (& won) a mussel eatin competition what's paid the rent & then some. I ate'em w/just about everything you can imagine; white wine, butter, parsley & bacon, vinegar, remulouade, mustard, aioli.....you name it, it went down my gullet. And the weather....you couldn't have asked for nicer, about all's we did was sit by the sea, eat, laugh & drink wine. I could get used to that life. I had a good time on them nude beaches though I didn't dare...you know what.There was lot's of eye candy to oogle, at least for me. MG didn't fare so well. Most of the fella's goin al fresco the day we was there was older & desperate. I didn't pay'em no mind, my eyes was trained on more voluptuous anatomy. At the end of our jaunt MG said she'd just about rather blow Janet Reno than fuck any of them old frogs we'd seen cruisin through the sand. Where does she come up w/this stuff? There was a trip to sample some local cheese, a stop to a foie gras farm-which was so good I could eat it 365 days a year-all in all a fantastic time. And every bit of it financed by me eatin more mussels than anyone in France. Do we live the life or what? But now here I am, back on the dreary ol' East Coast & w/a ton of shit what's waitin on a yay or gay. Never a dull moment, that much is for sure. Here we go;

Television Ghost (or TV Ghost) sent over what they call an 'anti record' that's basically a #rd run of a one-sided test pressing that blend's the primitive energy of the Cramps doin 'Rocket In My Pocket' (think the Hot Club '77 lp version) in the middle of (another) Three Mile Island meltdown. That the track is called 'Atomic Rain' just makes the icin on the cake that much sweeter. A proper 7" on the De Grasi label is either out or imminent. Great stuff, check'em out at; www.myspace.com/televisionghost

2 cd's from the Australian label Spanish Magic have been pullin their fair share of time on the player recently. One's a solo outing entitled 'Lid Domestic Dome Bin' from Naked On The Vague's Matthew Hopkins (here known as Bad Tables) that see's our hero way outside the box, eerily & ably bussing large amounts've murk & urp, not to mention wadin through large vats of oozin rot that's enough to make NOTV sound almost like a Pop band by comparison. The enclosed listenin instruction alone are enough to make you never cook at home again, but rather order a LARGE Chinese pizza for delivery........ not to eat but dissect. Like the sign reads, 'repeat until dead'. I hear ya.
I believe Castings is the label's main brain & on their 'Punk Rock Is Bunk Squawk' it's easy to see why. I don't hear the Wolf Eyes racket that was insinuated to me, it's more like vintage Boy Dirt Car when they decide to role up their sleeves. But then it dips ably into a MEV-like sound pool & there's even harmonic 'n ambient interludes that practically beg for a refill of red in the goat skin. With all the great post, post, post S.P.K. electronic char comin outta the land down under lately, my only wish is that Neil Hill was still alive (& knighted) to bask in the harsh, noisy warmth that he helped to forge. Go to http://www.spanishmagic.org/ for more info.

And while we're (sorta) surfin the Aussie wave's, a fella in Oakland by the name've George Chen knows something about bein one up in the game. Besides the fact he was the 1st person in the bay area to have that Tyvek dbl, he's also responsible for a series of cd's called Zum Audio that now has a 2nd volume. I ain't never heard the 1st one, but you know, I get the idea. Some swat, some bunt, but they's all score. Lot's of familiar movers (John Wiese, Can't, Yellow Swans) & shakers (Silver Daggers, Deerhoof, Axolotl) + them's what not household names. Yet. My fave track is from the Oz rep, Lakes ( Sean Bailey of Paeces), whose cover of the Art Bears 'Song Of Investment Capital' sounds like a Ted Milton croon while racin downhill on a pogo stick. He herks 'n jerks but delivers the goods, all still in solid form. No mess! It's available from; http://www.zumonline.com/

Lakes is in the middle of a US tour as this goes online & if you've seen him, you already know about this new cdr that's bein peddled entitled 'Magic Food'. If not, stay tuned. Either way, your in for a treat. There's great percussive clatter, ecclesisastical organ wheeze, mysterious gnaws & gnarls, basically Lakes speaks in many different tongues-which rhymes w/Youngs-but the haunting cover of the late Gareth Williams 'Generous Moon' (from his rare cassette-only deal released back in '85) ALONE is easily worth the price of admission. If he ain't stoppin through your burg, try invertedcrux@hotmail.com & see what's what.

For those of you what missed the Home Blitz 7"ers 1st time around, not to fret. They's now been digitized via the Gulcher label. Not only do you's get them singles cuts, but also ones from the 'Friends & Family' cassette as well as tunes from the forthcomin lp that's right around the corner. More info at; http://www.gulcher.gemm.com/
or try homeblitz@gmail.com

And speakin of Home Blitz, they's also 1/3rd of this 7" comp called 'The World's Lousy With Ideas (vol 1)' that's lookin to be a contempo Mell Square or somethin. 1 track each from HB, Nothing People & some band called Boys Club whose number 'Gotta Get Right' is sure to be a lost classic within a few years. Supposedly released on a label outta Hawaii, there's no info anywhere's I can see. Email Home Blitz at the above account to see if they's still around. Def. worth the effort.

Slicin Grandpa ponied up w/their newest release, a split 7" between them & Sparkle Girl. Readers of this Blog knows that Slicin Grandpa can do no wrong, so let's focus for a moment on Sparkle Girl's admission. Hmmmm.......I'd say they sound very much like the grizzly mayhem spawned from that rotator blade off that helicopter just moments before/after it loped off Vic Morrow's head while makin that Twilight Zone movie. SG aren't quite so dramatic, eschewin decapitation for a good old fashioned aural vivisection & since it's unlikely they's ever gonna be invited to play halftime at the Super Bowl, the NFL's none the wiser to their gutteral hijinx. Released on the Soccer Mom Ebonics label in a #rd ed. of 500, available at; www.myspace.com/sparklegirlpresents or email SG at; elmn8tr@hotmail.com


A Vancouver label called Sweet Rot's got a couple of 7"ers out there as well. One's a 3 bagger from the seemingly prolific Blank Dogs & not only has he bullseyed the I Braineater style of loner, punk/effects rip, he's now got a matchin city address to boot. Catholic Boys rock it w/a decidedly Dangerhouse approach, the results of which should make every Jay Reatard fan squeal w/fright. Or delight. I guess it depends on how your cuttin up the eightball. Find these at; http://www.s-srecords.com/


As you may've gleaned from the article in the debut edition of Z-Gun magazine (out now!), San Francisco was one of the main cities to bypass the Punk-to-Hardcore formula w/a dazzling array of diverse.......well, Artpunk. If you ain't seen said article in question, well, get a copy! It cuts a broad swath but you will learn somethin, that's for sure. And we all know how Flipper broke the mold by seemin to inexplicably fuse Punk/Art/Industrial into an uncatagorizable & feral racket that is still singular to this day. For what any of us knowed, no one ever gave'em a run for their money. But little by little, it seems Church Police may've been the 'Funhouse' to Flipper's 'Raw Power' when it came to dolin out the plodding, downer-core sludge. Anyone who ever talked to that voice on the other end of the phone at Subterranean/Thermidor way back when & asked about Church Police was told 'tape's exist' & they was 'somewhere' but that's as far as it ever got. If you wrote to the address listed for'em on the MRR 'Not So Quiet' comp, them letters came back stamped 'RTS' & unopened. Then a few yrs back Stomach Ache released some stuff on a 7" from an unknown source & now this ep on Skulltones is out & it's pretty great for backin up everything I just pontificated about. Maybe it's me, but I think these guys was darker than Flipper. Could be cause I don't think they gave a shit-let's face it, 1 track on a H/C comp released 25 yrs ago ain't really the work of careerists-but could be cause I just ain't heard enough of their catalog to be sick of it yet. Church Police bring on the bum-out like Flipper only WISHED they could. When it comes to ruinin the vibe & drainin the fun, these guy's do it w/the elan of early Kilslug & any band that had Bobby Soxx as a member. Not sure how Skulltones got the call to do this, but here's hopin they's up to doin more. http://www.skulltones.com/
Order Z-Gun from; http://www.s-srecords.com/



A release I've been meanin to go on about but somethin always seems to stand in it's way is this lp on Siwa by the Broom Dusters. It's called 'Sound From The Bottom Of The Tokyo Underground' & it pretty much blows out ANYTHING you'd care to mention from the land of the rising sun that's been recorded & released over the past 15 or so yrs. And that goes for all output from Haino, including Fushitsusha. Led by Masami Kawaguchi, this also shatters the glass jaw of them other bands w/his membership, notably Miminokoto & LSD March. Forget about it! This has some of the jagged monster prowess found on that Kousokuya 'Live At Minor' cd slathered w/radioactive blues-infernal fuzz of Liquorball's 'Live In Hitler's Bunker' lp. And the singin belies that maniacal sense of glee that only the Japanese can seem to channel & enunciate. Done in an edition of 315 & housed in the spectacular silkscreen jackets that only Siwa can deliver. Check this out at; http://www.siwarecords.com/


Whew! And that ain't all of it neither. There's plenty more to go on about but I am plumb worn out. Could be the music, might be the jetlag but whatever it is, I'm done for the time bein. And I ain't gonna be around next week neither. Gotta get back to Camp Century for a reunion party. That's sure to be a humdinger. Seems all summer I've been eatin fresh vegetables, poultry, fish & game, it'll be a shock to the system spendin a week up there w/nothin but potted meats & canned goods. But I guess that's why God invented Gin. Be nice to see some old faces too. Anyways, I'll smell ya later!

B'low It's Me.....Todd Blowbox & The New Records From Meds

Last post I mentioned this guy I know, Todd Blowbox, who fancies himself a fortune teller or mystic or some hogwash. Well, you can add THIEF to his list of accomplishments too! That's right, while he was stayin here he up & stole a couple new records what I had slated for review on account of the 'weird vibes' they was emittin off to him. The guy is a fuckin dingaling. Actually he's a friend of MG's, they worked together at some co-op & all's we knowed him by for a long time was Todd. But then we went bowlin w/him out to his old neighborhood in Upper Darby & all the bowlers was yellin at him 'IT'S TODD BLOWBOX'! & makin faces at him or laughin. It got Todd so upset we had to leave right before the 10th frame w/me bowlin a perfect game! Furious ain't the word for how I was feelin as he broke down & told his story as we rode the El back into town. I guess when he was a kid the older boys had this box they made w/holes cut out in it, they'd hijack Todd, put him in the box & make him.....hey, if you know the joke about the lumberjack & the barrel, it's along those lines.It was kind've disturbin to tell you the truth. His real name is Todd Brady but somehow that horrible nickname stuck (something about keepin it as a 'punk name' for a band he was in back in the 80's. I was tryin not to pay too much attention). He's a unique lookin fella too; real tall (I'd say about 6'5") & reed thin, he's got this one tooth that sorta stick out the right side of his mouth & he looks like a cross between John Waters & Dagwood Bumstead. He's a presence, that's for sure. Now all this time since I never called him Todd Blowbox to his face, but would use it as a clarifier if need be. You know, if someone said 'Todd who'? & it was him, I'd say 'Todd Blowbox'. Then they be like 'oh yeah, that guy'. But at some point not long ago he went through some transformation & got all metaphysical, was goin on about crystals & runes, tea leaves.....it was weird. So one day he says, 'R-Be, it's okay. I've accepted that I will forever be Todd Blowbox. It is my lot in life. Call it karma if you like, but it no longer bothers me. And I'm sorry about your perfect game that time. But you'll do it again. I saw it in the future". So cut to this past week; he shows up, needs a place to crash for a while, then up & leaves because he's not 'feelin the love' & on top of that, takes 2 records because of their 'projected aura'. Fuck him, I can't get a handle on it, but whatever, here's the note he left in lieu of a review. Thankfully we had a spare copy of the Eat Skull 7" stashed away or we could've kissed any photo reprint goodbye. Todd Blowbox.....he's gonna wish he was back in that thing if I ever see him again:


R-Be & Miriam-

Sorry to do this, but I have been battling the intensity of your space since I 1st arrived. There is a lot of hostile energy in that house, not the least of which was eminating from your cats. The one called Bormann actually took a shit in my toiletry bag. That sort of did it for me. I thought I might be able to ward off whatever bad mojo by playing one of your records, something that seemed positive. I had chosed the Sun Supreme lp without really checking out the artwork first. I thought it would be warm & positive. As it started to amble to life, I studied the cover design-which was incredibly transfixing-then the reverse, which sent shivvers up & down my spine. That room......it's very much a resemblance of that perverted box I was forced to sit in and...perform! And those initials.......the names were all coming back, I could almost smell the stench of their rotten Irish crotches; SS=Seamus Sweeney, LT or Liam Teagan, CG aka Craig Grogan, RT-Rory Wynn, AB is Austin Brody & worst of all, the one we called simply-ENNIS. He was evil personified. He put me in the box every day, sometimes more than once. My mouth was sore more than a few times from working overtime on ENNIS. My mother would beat me at home because I wouldn't eat dinner. How could I? My stomach was full! I couldn't concentrate on the music, it was making me lightheaded & faint. I swore I was hearing something akin to the Yanomamos ep or that Square 9 'Tsunami' lp but I just couldn't focus. The walls were closing in! So I've had to take this lp for further investigation. I also saw this 7" by a band called Eat Skull that was on the same label which I think is called Meds. I assure you, there are meds in MY future & by the sound of things on this ep, Eat Skull have ingested their share of meds as well. I can see what you mean by a Hole Class/'Tally Ho' filter, but really this is so depraved, it reminds me more of some sick fucking orgy between Ex Blank Ex & Chronic Sick. I mean I know it's Pop that's just sped up & buried to the max, but listen to 'Things I Did When I Dyed My Hair'& tell me you don't hear 'Your Full Of Shit' or 'Dress Code'. Your full of shit then! And that name.....I hope you have your lights on. Just thinking about it scares the holy f'n gosh gee willickers out of moi! You know what a band like Eat Skull is capable of? Girl Fights. Go ahead, laugh, but it's true. This kind of music just makes girls want to start sucker punching each other & I know you think it's funny, but when that happens, it's about the sorriest shit you could ever want to see. Eat Skull. Girls fights. Same difference, trust me.
The bottom line is thus; I wish I could say I borrowed these records but I didn't. That doesn't mean I stole them, just that your not getting them back. They are too weird & demented. Things are happening on both of them that is beyond either of your comprehesion level's. R-Be, I know you think your above such reproach but you are not. With those records in your collection you were in both mortal & spiritual danger. You might say they are too good to be allowed to be owned.There is only one thing to do with records like these & it's bury them.Bury them deep & very far away. Like in a desert. Or an old well. Perhaps burn them 1st. My crystal ball says that if music like this isn't located & contained soon, society as it is currently known is doomed. And that means no bowling, so you can kiss that 300 goodbye! I must find the maniac behind the Meds label & neutralize him/her immediately. It's the least I can do considering what I've heard. You can thank me later.

Here's hoping I'm not to late,

Todd 'Blowbox' Brady

(check out Eat Skull at; www.myspace.com/eatskull & purchase Meds releases directly from the source at; http://www.exiledrecords.com/ or via http://www.forcedexposure.com/ & http://www.fusetronsound.com/)

Whip It Good.....New Releases from Mattress & Tyvek

It sure has been the year for fish-eyed, tweaked-out 7"er's hasn't it? By the pound too it seems like, giant nets full've noise & pop mackerels, hoisted on board to be picked over or thrown back. And sure enough there's always the one's what get tucked away in the hold to keep for yourself. From my recent trowelings this new ep from Mattress would fit that bill to a T. It's also the debut release on the Malt Duck label, captained by none other than Fuzzbox Flynn over to KDVS so I needn't have worried that I was gonna get hornswoggled by some precosity or affectation (hello Olympia!). In fact, I was so tickled by the aural results I made a malt duck sangria in order to further imbibe in the swagger of this Mattress fella. I've heard some genteel peepin about his similarities to Alan Vega & Suicide but I don't think the paleo dark/space vibe (what resonates from Suicide to my node) is all that prominent. I mean, it's there-if you want it to be-but scratch your ears a little faster & hear trickles 'n blurts what's remininscent of Minimal Man, Pyrolator & (early) Quintron. It a man & his machines, primed & pulsating, up against it w/not a worry in the world. It's not naivete folks, it's bravado & personally.....I like his odds. Order here; http://www.maltduckrecords.com/

Also, another entry what's sure to breeze into a top whatever at years end is this long awaited double 7"er from Tyvek c/o the What's Your Rupture? label. For a couple've yrs now WYR? have been perfecting a standard of excellence what's bein carried over from trademark Anglo labels such as Whaam!, Creation or 53rd & 3rd, releasin handmade & stamped vinyl from the likes of The Long Blondes, Comet Gain, Cause Co-Motion & Love Is All. So just when I think I got'em sussed they up & deliver this 4 sider from perhaps one of the tippest of the toppest bands workin the circuit in the here & now. Cherry picked off the 'Fast Metabolism' cdr-which I have played near to death-Tyvek effortlessly connect w/a 1-2 combination that seems fueled by equal parts Fast-era Mekons & Scars as well as Happy Squid's own Urinals & 100 Flowers. Nobody jolts back the juice with quite the same gusto as these guys & I for one could stand an LP's worth of tuneage from Los Tyvek's asap.Check'em out at; www.myspace.com/tyvekmusic & order the dbl 7" from http://www.midheaven.com/
also, check out the WYR page; http://www.whatsyourrupture.com/

I got lot's more what to gab about but your gonna have to give me a day to sort'em all out. Just when I thought I was done w/company & ol' Bull headed off to parts unknown, who comes along but Todd Blowbox, here in town to attend a convention for fortunetellers & the like. He's got some fancy name now, calls himself The Amazin Somethinorother, but he'll always be Todd Blowbox to me. It takes all kind's that much is for sure. Maybe I'll get him to break out the crystal ball for a few reviews. Until then, keep'em comin!

The Past Sure Is Tense.....Getting To The Bottom of the 'Thai Record' LP

Like I said, me & Turley...we likes to have a good time. And since we ain't seen one another in a lifetime, the other night we got deep into it. Around 3am I pulled out this record what we used to listen to when we was over in the shit that has been-unbelievably-repressed. No shit, I seen the cover at a shop & knowed I'd seen it before. The clerk told me some story about it bein a cd once put out by a Swedish prankster & some story about how there's theories about it being either the Sun City Girls or No Neck Blues Band. I don't know fuck about any of that claptrap, all I know is that I'd seen that cover & it was very familiar. It was 12$ so fuck it, I bought one. Took it home & forgot about it. Then the other night I remembered it & put it on & it was like a flashback to tunnels of Cu Chi. It gave us the fuckin chills! We then decided to call some old friends & confirm that it was the same record 'cause I thought we was buggin out. The one fella who'd first turned us onto the record we couldn't find, but we managed to locate our old comrade Delray & leave a message on his voice mail. As you'll see below in his email, he was able to roger the album & confirm w/a photo. The eyes don't lie. Take that Siamese Temple Ball!



Yo, Woody Woodbe & Bull Turley! What are you 2 old motherfuckers doin callin me at 4 o'clock in the fuckin mornin askin me about some damn record from back in the day? Ain't you got no sense? Shit! Man, of course I remember that motherfuckin album. I used to call it 'The Cobra' cause it was so beautiful & mesmerizing but once we got to smokin that mountain shit that music would strike you dead. What was them mountain people's called I forget (the Montagnards-RW) but whatever it was, the stuff they growed was unbelievable. It was like that medical shit you can get nowadays, man, blow your fuckin mind. But yeah, that record was Teddy Sinninger's jam. That was some tracks he laid down w/some Army Ranger bro's of his from New Jersey & they had it pressed somewhere, Taiwan or some shit, I can't exactly remember. I do remember when Teddy got'em back & he took a stack over to the PX & told everybody it some sorta Cong rock band. And all them artillery motherfucks thought it was some VC shit! And he sold'em all! That motherfucker was crazy! Shit I still got a picture w/him holdin a copy, dig it, there's Woody, Turley, me & Teddy with his record (see above). Motherfucker took that thing everywhere. I don't know how they did it but they made that music sound GOOD! What was that shit you was talkin Woody? Something about a Sun City Girl or a No Necked Blue Man? I don't know what you 2 assholes is snortin but that shit ain't my bag. I still gots the copy he gave me somewhere but I ain't played that thing in years. My son-the one that got the gay & moved out to Olympia, Wa-said somebody had made a cd out of it. And now your sayin it's a record again? Is this some kind of a motherfuckin joke? Did that honky-ass Teddy Sinninger tell you to call me & with this bullshit? Motherfuckers.....you ever come down here to Atlanta & I will PERSONALLY cut off both your all's dicks & feed'em to one of Michael Vicks dogs. But seriously, it would be good if you crazy bastards come this way. I still get into some herbable shit & I like my Mexican beers. Fuck Budweiser. And Michelob too. Get on down here! And don't call me no more w/your silly-ass shit. Peace to you both. Out.
Delray King