Bye Bye Binoculars & Macintosh, Everything Is Just Great. Or Is It?.....New Lp's!

A few releases what's come in seem to drag/wear/emblaze a lot of mid to late 90's sound trinkets & non essential bling rather prominently. I reckon from my side of the fence the 90's ain't so far away & boy was there a lot of shit to ingest! If it weren't Grunge & it's miserable minions suckin or blowin hard for the better part of the decade, the drum & bass, house + electronica schmaltz what followed was even more putrid. In light of all that one can almost forgive folks for buyin into the cottage industry what became Blew Beard Blamerica. But that old horse done been flogged to death around here. Personally I ain't one to welcome back most of the 90's, either w/reunions or influences. Not yet anyways. You might think otherwise. I've found that those what tend to be contentious about my opinions don't know much about much in the grand scheme of things so it ain't worth worryin about. Besides, my side's been around longer than there's been a fence, but that said, I'm glad it's there. Better to keep the ninnies & neophytes contained till they's wise up. What am I ramblin on about? Oh, just a little somethin called......


FREEer by an outfit called Gulls. See, on this 12" you get to see the crux of what I'm goin on about. The a-side is a luminous squall what brings to mind a backdrop've early 70's Miles Davis psychedlic fusion crossed w/the downtown, late 70's post funk pulsations found on labels like 99 or Y. It's not bad. I was never one of them what went ape shit over none of that sorta urp, but it was always 'cool' enough & I could dig it in a pinch. The flip though is where the flies start to swarm; a one man retelling of the a-side track, this time via effects, computers, drum box, it sounds like a Little Darla cocktail party, minus the tail, minus the party. I couldn't hang. Maybe your made of swishier stuff. http://www.soniclozenge.com/


My initial reaction to just lookin at this lp by Soft Location called 'Diamonds & Gems' was something akin to a dismal flashback when I 1st came into contact w/the post Krautrock/Stereolab worshippin wurst wank of Windy & Karl or Flying Saucer Attack. I was really preparin for a dreadful parcel of time to follow. But guess what.....it never come to pass. Instead what got encountered was a pleasant, just off kilter pop rumble that called to mind a similar output from the Otago Peninsula's great Jay Clarkson or some Pastels friendly racketeers who once recorded for the Bi Joopiter label. There is some twee debris that resembles (maybe) an unknown Harriet matrix taker or a forgotten gazer of shoe but what brush w/goodness don't come w/a price anymore? You don't have to be Kendra Smith to figure this one out.
Contact; michael@senselessempire.com for availability.


I'd done lost track of Dan Melchior, pretty much tossin his baby out w/the bathwater left by Billy Childish & Holly Golightly. I know, I sound like a Goddamn sour puss but jesus, how much of that Kent/Medway sound do you have to buy before it becomes an old dog? And when I ask that I mean to them's who don't sport a wallet chain, cuff their denim jeans or wear pork-pie hats at a jaunty angle. Like me. Fuck it, the answer don't matter, hey, the main thing is this Dan Melchior und das Menace lp don't seem burdened by the trappins of click uniformity. You can take a fella outta Kent, but I reckon you can't take Kent out the fella. 'Christmas For The Crows' surely exhales great plumes of hempish wry from the Hangman chillum-like a spit & polish take on that old rapscallion, Sexton Ming-but also devours w/great success lost tins've indica laced biscuits purloined from stash mongers pining for tunesmithery & pluck that harkens back Syd Barrett, Viv Stanshall or that Oliver fella. So you might say I got a bit of egg on my face in regard to ol' Dan Melchior. But that's okay, he can pelt me with'em by the dozen so long as he keeps makin records of this caliber. www.myspace.com/daggermanrecords

Someday I'll Listen To Albums Again.....The Perpetual 7" Reviews

Rosemary Krust is a duo hailin outta Baltimore that is self proclaimed Shoegazers. I guess that should come as no suprise since the whole Maryland/Greater WDC area was the breedin ground for so much of that stuff back in the 90's. But what a difference a decade can make. Rosemary Krust don't seem as precious as all them Slumberland bands what come before'em, I dunno, maybe it's the lo-fi starkness but they remind me of a marriage of DR503 Dead C & Our Bed Is Green era Charalambides. Or maybe the American equivalent to Garbage & The Flowers. I sure don't hear no MBV influence which is fine by me. Sonically introspective, slightly fuzzed + guiltlessly twee'd =A GOOD THING. Small pressing & nice handmade sleeves too. Check'em out at www.myspace.com/rosemarykrust


S-S Records continues to dominate the 7" landscape w/2 new winners, the 1st one I layed into bein the debut from XYX who is presumably buds w/Los Llamarada. You might call XYX the dancefloor version of LL. They share the same pulsing energy but while Los Llamarada dredge into darker spaces, XYX bask in the gas glow of strobbing neon. The blown out bass riffs light up this dogie w/serious post punk glare, Gang Of Four style, while the fem vocals, drum propulsion & additional electo swagger calls to mind the most salaciously charged moments of Maximum Joy, tempered w/the bloodlust abandon of El Chupacabra. They's definitely onto somethin. Lookin forward to more. www.myspace.com/xyxs
This was also my 1st exposure to Hiroshima Rocks Around, why I do not know. I seen their name around, probably via S-S postings, but I just never got the bug. My loss. These guys seem custom made for the S-S crew, revellin in a chaotic carnage that till now seemed exclusively hand zonked by Gallic outfits such as Cheveu & Crash Normal. Hard to know who did what 1st but I think it's safe to say no one's gonna blame none of it on Catherine De Medici this time. Aggressively twisted & fun for all. Now I gotta go look up their back catalog.
Both this & XYX available via http://www.s-srecords.com/


Naked On The Vague is also battin 1000% & on this 7" for Skulltones, their patented brand of Apocalyptic melancholia is runnin at a fever pitch. The A side cracks & peels behind a 'Discipline' styled drum beat while Matthew & Lucy's vocal trade off's resemble the malaise akin to once upon a time Lee & Nancy ( aka, the original Chris & Cosey) recounting a night at Spahn Ranch, where they was sick from the tofu roasted over a kerosene bonfire & exasperated by the results of a Family hootenanny. The flip finds our hero's not a little wrecked from the copious amounts of Fromme procured dirt-cheeb they'd inhaled & who knows, maybe it'd even been 'dusted' w/LOVE by Charlie himself. It's a wild world babe, that's alls I can say. http://www.skulltones.com/


I remember seein The Electric Bunnies last yr down to SXSW at some ungodly time like 11am whiles the rancid smells of stale beer & fresh vomit was goin toe to toe w/new urinal mints & bucket've Pine-sol. It was gonna be hard to keep me there w/that much sensory overload goin on. I done my best, managed to stay long enough to realize they weren't just some clueless h/c wannbe's, in fact, they seemed very much akin to the Wombats, whose live shows was always more charged then them records what was released on Voxx & Homestead. Since that morning, Electric Bunnies have released two 7"ers. The 1st one garnered much acclaim but it never crossed my path so's I don't know what I missed. This 2nd one-a 4 song ep-is sure a melange of individual humdingers. Like the Wombats, they can extoll a hazy power pop vibe, but the EB's approach seems cut from a more anglo pattern. Listenin to this a couple times it was curious to pick up scent's that-inexplicable or not-recalled the tarnished jangle of Whaam bands such as The Mixers, Laughing Apple & even Revolving Paint Dream. The one track on here, 'Super Fluorescent Hippo Flashback' is a great caterwaul that's very much now, but I think if the Cappuchino Kid were to hear it, he'd be chuffed by the moves. And maybe even pony up a round of babysham's to boot. Charmed, I'm sure.
available via http://www.floridasdying.com/ who also run an excellent mailorder service. Give'em a holler.

Sweet Rot's got another new one on the streets, this time from a trio called Blank Its. Two tracks that's pretty straight up Killed By Death punk w/treated vocals to give it, I dunno, an edge? Catchy tunes though & if your smitten by yore boys such as Plastic Idols & Deprogammer, then start collecting for the future. As for the vocal trickery & spiney tingles, FNU Ronnies eat these guys for breakfast, but it ain't a competition, merely an observation. Don't kill the pogo!
www.myspace.com/sweetrotrecords


There's lot's of student housing permeatin the cityscape've Columbus, Ohio. In most cases these abodes come w/ample porches & plenty of basement space. All's the better to croon your folk & practice your rock, usually w/nary a complaint from the neighbors. There's also troves of cheap records to dig through & seein as how thems what's wet behind the ears is willin to embrace things some of us more jaded sots would find unremarkable, it should come as no suprise that the goslings what make up RTFO Bandwagon seem to have fused the precious folk of Richard & Mimi Farina w/the precocious rock of Go Team on this 4 song ep for the Dull Knife label. Not that there's nothin wrong w/that, but from my vantage I can't tell if I smell patchouli or if someone turned on the oven but forgot to light the pilot. Guess we'll all find out soon enough. http://www.dullkniferecords.com/

EAT SKULL'S 'Sick To Death' LP Available NOW!

I know the official release date isn't until next week, but we're offering up 'early' copies of the debut lp from Eat Skull entitled 'Sick To Death'. If you weren't lucky (or astute) enough to snag their previous singles or tour cassette, not to worry, they're all available on Ebay. For lot's of money! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sorry, I was trying to suffer fools lightly. Anyway, this lp is a great window into the world of Eat Skull, a world where psychic scars offer ponderous, trebly results. Is it Punk? Mister, I'd like to know just what Punk is these days. If your Punk is all about gnarly gnar-gnar rhythm hooks, organ fills that hang in the air like clouds of acid rain & radical, pogo frenzied tuneage then YES, 'Sick To Death' is the living embodiment of Punk. Remember the end of that movie 'Don't Look Now'? The part where Donald Sutherland-who plays some weird clairvoyant architect-corners the even weirder little dwarf character who pretends to be crying but then turns around & slashes Big Don's throat? He'd channeled all that, knew it was comin, but still couldn't stop it. Like c'mon, is that fucked up or what? 'Sick To Death' conjugate's the same vibe; you've heard these song before in your dreams, you've lived this stuff-no doubt-but when you finally confront them 1st hand, you know they're here to take you out. And that's when you realize the shit got deep. Shredders on fry dude, it doesn't get more Punk than that.

Copies Of 'Sick To Death' are 15$ ppd US ONLY. Overseas is 25$ per copy & Canadian residents pay 18$. Paypal to; sltrx@pil.net

PS-CD version coming soon, email http://www.midheaven.com/ for more info.

Just Who You Tryin To Fuck With This Shit?.....3 Little Guys What Stunk

More 'n more records show up all the time, what's an erstwhile philosopher to do? To them's out there that aren't afforded the luxury of promo's, or lads or ladette's without disposable cashish, all's I can say is.....been there. There's always seemed to exist some unwritten rule that if you's is the recipient of something free & you don't like it, better to ignore than to criticize. And I'd agree w/that on some level. Perhaps it's also that some scribes what pen reviews of the current underground just like everyting what comes their way or don't wanna burn bridges. But since I ain't one, I don't harbor them same feelings. Settin a bridge on fire can be highly exhilaratin & if I liked everything what waltzed down the pike I'd be an even bigger lardass than I already am. If you read this Blog w/any regularity then it's obvious I don't have no love lost on New Weird Ameriblah but I also hold equal disdain for retro punk & garage/budget rock. Bottom line; it's the obvious what sours the milk. Problem could be I'm too old for this racket; too much knowledge w/ accessible deep archives. But I doubt it. More like the old sayin what goes; "Youth is wasted on the young". Ain't it the truth?




There'a label outta Chicago what's started up called Tic Tac Totally that has inexplicably felt the need to powder the landscape w/a couple of run of the mill singles the 1st one I heard bein this by Snake Flower 2. I guess the whole Blank Dogs, solo vision thing was bound to take on it's share of imitators & here we go. It ain't terrible, in fact it's easily accessible if somewhat plodding but at no time did I feel the want to play it more'n a couple spins & can't say I sees much future in it's company. Even with global warming I doubt it'll ever rain hard enough to pine for this one again. Seemed very much a byproduct of late 90's fluff, like the Lily's or somethin along the lines've that band that had a fella what looked like one of the Banana Splits, the ones that had a hardon for Brian Jones. Maybe if I was dependent on nitrous & can've Sparks to keep it "up" this might seem glam or psychedelic, but I'm starin straight into reality & it's shootin back the finger. Later dude.


Also available from TTT is a 7" from Yokohama Hooks, a 3 song aggro sneerer that calls to mind the choppy angular post punk of Au Pairs. Can't say I was ever much taken w/Au Pairs, they always seems affected & toffee nosed while lacking the chops of contempo's like Gang Of Four, Gilrs At Our Best & so forth. The B-side cover of 'Bloodstains' is easily as embarrassin as Zonic Shockum's take on 'Bullet' yrs ago but not nearly as charmin. Pointless is the word I keep comin back to. Maybe a cover've 'It's Obvious' would've made more sense, but 'Inconvenience' is more like it.
Both records via http://www.tictactotally.com/

Lot's of pups is jacked about Fag Cop & I can just imagine the shirtless pit, 9 miles of cock locked together in a daisychain of hardcore reenactment & face pounding frenzy. Personally I never found the racket of Pussy Galore all that hardcore & when the 90's imitators rolled around, most notably Monster Truck 5 & the lesser grunge of the Pac NW it seemed more about head waggin & flannel flyin. But the youth of today will have their say & history has been reconstructed to show Fag Cop as bypassin all that glop & are the current embodiment of (sigh) The Reatards or worse,someone's idea've what somebody's brother's friend's shop teacher told them Antiseen was like in the late 90's.Me? I was never much cared for Dead Boys covers & thought the Confederacy Of Scum was some dumbass joke. The other day while I was dressin out a rabbit on the balcony I overheard a couple dirt punkers sittin down on our stoop jabberin. The one fella in ripped jeans & a flaccid mohawk was explainin "Just because you wake up with a dick in your mouth doesn't make you gay.Like dude....I didn't even like it"! His misguided "logic" makes sense though; you go Crusty! www.myspace.com/homosexualpoliceofficer

Zombies Don't Thrash.....The Charge Of The 7" Brigade

Lot's of records been flyin in & I just ain't had the time to peruse'em all. One of these days I'll try & stay at it longer than a half hour or so, but that's about alls the free time I got right now. Tryin to get myself in shape for the annual Man's Man Contest, this year it's bein held on The Moon. I'm not sure how athletic ridin in a rocketship is but then I don't claim to be a professional astronaut. I is happy to know a couple though & am indebted to them for lettin me in to check out all the NASA contraptions & float around in a gravityless room. I think I've got the whole oxygen thing worked out too but I am a little concerned about havin to go to the bathroom in my suit. Maybe I'll just stick to them protein pills I hear so much about. At any rate, none of it matters much if I don't get enough sponsors or patrons to help pay for my trip there & back.The Moon ain't Pittsburgh, if you catch my drift. It's gonna require more than a bus ticket, a sack've clean duds & a toothbrush to pull this one off. Who know's, I might just have my own donation marathon to pay for it. But until then, here's some record I heard what I thought you should know about:

Not only is Montreal got an amazin array of boucheries to boast, now there seems to be a couple bands what're tryin to raise the awareness of the city as a destination for hog wild rockers to compliment them hog filled terrines. The Nymphets is the latest to stride into my sights by way of this 7" on the Psychic Handshake label, 2 tracks of fem/male vocality & grubby instrum aggression, both tunes comin across w/budget-like VU hum. If I didn't knowed better, I'd have figured this to be one of the lost recordings for the Pre B.S. Records label. That said, fans of (early) Mummies, Fingers & Supercharger won't be dissapointed w/these guys should they cast their coin into the till. Contact; www.myspace.com/psychichandshake or http://www.thenymphets.com/ for further info


What little I've read about concernin Francis Harold & The Holograms embellishes the band as the 2nd coming of Bobby Soxx & the like (you know where I'm goin, right?) so far be it for me to opine otherwise. But I gotta say, I don't hear hear all the "obvious" selling points, could be I'm just a contentious asshole or maybe I'm just listenin better (or just in closer proximity to the New Hope & Master Tape compilations-Capt'n Siltbreeze), who knows for sure. Initially I was intrigued by their moniker, figurin Francis & Co. to be real time livin embodiment of Dry Rib, The Desperate Bikes or somethin along the lines of any tried & true Brit DIY. That's just how their name rung out to me. So when I finally spun it & none of that was apparent, I didn't sob. No sir, I was much too smitten w/their style've hob, a completely no holds barred 2008 take on rat attacks that once assaulted ears 'n minds in the early 80's. So yeah, Stickmen With Rayguns & Flipper comparisons.....that'll sell records, 'cause sayin they's more in common w/Outerwear, PPG, The Pattern or Poison Center ain't gonna raise no eyebrows. Till now. This one floored me. Talk about your Sand In The Face.....I'm hip! Word is the label ain't got none to spare, try http://www.s-srecords.com/
& cross yr fingers.


The French they are a funny race. They like to do it with their________. Drum machines? Synthesizers? Baguettes? Aperitifs? I foget how that old chestunt ends, anyway, the Brut Direct label is doing a fine service to us all by providing the most wonderous noise escargot, seemingly feeding their potent Gros Gris a diet of petit greens & toxic earth. The 2nd release, this 7" from Minitel is a plump bugger ripe w/schizophrenic angst; the a-side is clearly borne out of the avant soil once trod upon by Ilitch & DDAA while the flip sounds like the band harvested an entire field of wormwood, distilling it into a noxious absinthe of Swans like potency. The blind carnage that follows, well what did you expect, A Saucer Full Of Secrets? Brut-Direct is growin real live monsters, no two ways about it. Go to http://www.bruit-direct.org/ & see what I mean.


While's I'm on the subject of France directly & Ilitch (indirectly) I think you oughta know about this reissue of primo Gallic swoon what was spawned by Ilitch mastermind Thierry Mueller. My details on Ruth is sketchy but I think this follows the Ilitch lp 'Periodicmindtrouble' when Mueller decided to drum up a rock ensemble with Ruth bein the end result. Not sure what they was channelin (or ingestin) but this 7" is as jake've an example of proto (Hearthan) era Ubu swoggle as I've ever heard. Considerin this is culled from some 1978 recordings, could it be they was locked into a similar street wave? Hard to know, there's also some aggressive Psychedelic Warlords "thing" goin on too & Francoise Portes vocals (esp. on Mescalito) sound like they's bein blipped in from another dimension. Really, besides Pere Ubu, I can't think of anyone back then KNOWN who was minin a similar shaft in a space/industro/punk vein. This one is impressin the hell outta me. Right up there alongside Angel Face as one of the greatest "lost" French bands of all time. Nice to have it around. Again.
http://poutreapparente.free.fr/ or email; bimbo.tower@free.fr for availablity

Matt Hartman Breaks Arm! Sic Alps Tour Cancelled!

SAN FRANCISCO-Late last week, Sic Alps Matt Hartman was involved in a bicycle mishap which resulted in him sustaining a broken arm. Rumors that he was rushing to meet friend's Jack (last name unknown) & Diane (likewise) to suck on some (tofu)chili dogs behind the Tempeh-Freeze remain unsubstantiated. Hartman is a known carnivore & there is a contention that if in fact he was speeding to meet vegetarians, it was the result of him being-in the words of Hemlock Tavern booking agent, Anthony Bedard-'a good guy'.
'Matt has a lot of friends' remarked Bedard, 'it's possible some of them don't eat meat. This is San Francisco after all, you have to expect that'.
Hartman & fellow band member Mike Donovan have decided in light of this untimely accident to cancel their upcoming May tour of US. Said tour is expected to now take place in July. Stay tuned to Siltblog for further details.

Sic Alps On Tour! New CD Out Too!

Hey, just quick plug for Sic Alps & Animal Disguise to let y'all know the band is about to embark on a US TOUR in support of their new cd on the aforementioned label entitled 'A Long Way Around To A Shortcut'. This collects all the band's (now entirely out of print) output to date, barring the work on 'Pleasures & Treasurers' (of course). So if you've missed out on any're all of of it, here's your chance to catch up. It is a jewel of a release, no long way around that! For ordering info, look below. In the meantime, get on down & check'em out LIVE!

04.25.08 SF, CA {@ Hemlock Tavern w/ Crash Normal, Mayyors}

04.26.08 DAVIS, CA {@ The DAM House w/ Crash Normal, Mayyors, Vampire Hands}

04.27.08 DRIVE DAY

04.28.08 DENVER, CO {@ the Rhinoceropolis w/ Happy Jawbone Family Band }

04.29.08 DRIVE DAY

04.30.08 IOWA CITY, IA {115 N. Dodge st. w/ Wet Hair, U.S. Girls, Coyote Blood}

05.1.08 MPLS, MN {@ The Hexagon Bar}

05.2.08 CHICAGO, IL {@ Empty Bottle w/ Tyvek, Mannequin Men}

05.3.08 CHICAGO, IL {@ Hotti Biscotti w/ Jason Soliday, Mykel Boyd, Druids of Huge}

05.4.08 URBANA-CHAMPAIGN, IL {@ Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center}

05.5.08 MEMPHIS,TN {@ Odessa}

05.6.08 BIRMINGHAM, AL {@ Bottletree Cafe}

05.7.08 ATLANTA, GA {@ Drunken Unicorn}

05.8.08 KNOXVILLE, TN {@ the Pilot Light w/ Fecal Japan, Brain Lesion}

05.9.08 PHILADELPHIA, PA {w/ Psychedelic Horseshit, Blues Control}

05.10.08 NYC {EARLY SHOW!!! (doors 7pm, 2 for 1 before 8pm) @ The Cake Shop w/ Religious Knives, Mark Morgan}

05.11.08 NYC (@ Union Pool w/ Golden Errors, Fakers)

05.12.08 BOSTON, MA {@ the Abbey w/ Heathen Shame, The Reports, The Black Clouds}

05.13.08 PITTSBURGH, PA {@ Garfield Artworks w/ Harangue, Centipede E'est}

05.14.08 CLEVELAND, OH {@ Pat's in the Flats w/ Nate Scheible & Matthew Wascovich Duo, Stephe DK}

05.15.08 COLUMBUS, OH {@ Bourbon St w/ Psychedelic Horseshit, CPC Gangbangs, The Feelers}

05.16.08 DETROIT, MI {@ UFO FACTORY w/ Midlife Vacation, Gardens (EARLY SHOW 8pm to 12 ALL AGES)}

05.17.08 CHICAGO, IL {WHPK Festival @ U of Chicago w/ Talibam!, Wolfden, Animal Law, Bird Names}

05.18.08 AIMES, IA {@ the Practice Space}

05.19.08 LAWRENCE, KS {@ The Jackpot Music Hall w/ Witch and Hare}

05.21.08 DENVER,CO. {@ Rhinoceropolis w/ Foot Village}

more information here:http://www.sicalps.com/

THANKS.--ANIMAL DISGUISE

P.O. BOX 2191

DEARBORN, MI48123 USA

info@animaldisguise.comhttp://www.animaldisguise.com/

No Animals Doing People Things.....Some Lp's (& a 10" & a 7") I heard In April

I was hopin to get a longer column together this weekend fors all you Blog readers but I done went & forgot yesterday was National Record Store Day. I'd been asked by the fella's what run the Record Exchange here in town to come & guest DJ for the afternoon, the only stipulation was 'make it original'. Comin from a couple've geeks what used to be in Strapping Fieldhands I wasn't necessarily sure what that meant, but I donned my Punsutawney Phil ballcap 'n sweatshirt, went down there & played Tony McPhee records till the cows come home. Seemed to be just the ticket. Course they couldn't pay me (cheap bastards) but I did get these here records & maybe you will too;



Car Commericals seem to feed 'n feast on a particular lost part of my youth, specifically the fuzzy grey area I encountered just after hearin Jad Fair's 'Zombies Of Mora-Tau' for the 1st time. Listenin to the 'Judy's Dust' lp it's as though them zombies which seemed so menacin & filled w/ petulance didn't wander too far from home but seemingly procreated & encouraged their spawn to go forth & if not conquer, well, at least be a nuisance to the status quo. Let's face it, zombie college is expensive but then what college ain't these days? Um, so.......yeah, Car Commercials come across on this 1st lp like charmed replicants w/exact DNA to match Jad's mythical zombo's of yore. True, this generation's 'disturbance' might seem mellower, but somethin tells me if you scratch a little harder there's a hornet's nest of dread under there that'll stand your hairs on end while your runnin for the hills. So go on, dig deeper. A case've the creeps can only do you some good. Check out www.geocities.com/leafleafrecords/ or www.cenotaph.org for ordering info.



And while's I'm on the subject of myths, the ellusive Billy Bao has hit for the vinyl cycle recently w/a lp, 10" & 7" all in the space of 6 months. I'll be goddamned if he ain't somethin of a modern day Matty Bower w/all that hoopla. But it ain't just the line formin to release work what's similar, to my ears Billy Bao's soundin somethin like a latter day Skullflower. There's also a bilge like fodderstomp that bring to mind Flipper or someone of that ilk too, 'cause on the 'Fuck Separation' 10" it feels like they meatballed Ted Falconi's guitar into a jackhammer & pulverized the Xaman lp into smithereens while the 'Accumulation' 7" hoists 'Brainwash' onto a petard, detonating it into a billion sub atomic particles that seem so toxic, you'd swear the air was filled w/a sinister amphetamine powder. Guess what? It isn't. Both of these most likely available from; http://www.s-srecords.com/ or if your just lookin for the 'Accumulation' 7" try; xeroxmusik@gmail.com





I have seen some of the best minds of my generation get downright dippy when they talk about this new lp by Hospitals entitled Hairdryer Peace. That said, some of these yappers would also say 'no' to a Kobi beef burger or Porterhouse steak cause they is scared of meat while others have confided they could eat nothin but confit of duck everyday for the rest of their life. So the lines is drawn. Which side is you on? All's I know is that this here lp ain't nothin like the previous 3 outings what bore the name Hospitals. Personally I think Mr Stonehouse's time in Sic Alps (or at least what he took from the Pleasures & Treasures lp) made an outstanding impression. The punk yap that always felt so unfocused (or raucous for the sake of raucousness, aka 'break shit & be somebody') has been given the boot on Hairdryer Peace. There's a trebly high end fuzz encircling this like an anxious halo which led me to suspect that it was more a solo work than a band effort. And I was sort've right, but I was also wrong at the same time. Two of the participants said they could hear no discernable contributions on their part, even though they agreed they was on there. The final verdict was that Mr. Stonehouse made this lp a personal catharsis & while there exist's a skeletal framework of how the album started, what come out in the finish was a completely different animal. Way too many folks nowadays set out to make (what they think is) weird lp's the results of which are almost always terrible, dilletantish, ego driven affairs. Intending to use classic outsiders like 'Oar' or 'Twin Infinitives' as template's for your masterpiece in the making might seem like a good idea, but in the immortal words of Tony Baretta, 'Don't do it'. Take your 4 track down to the pawn shop, sell it & invest that money in a good lawn mower. I'm not kidding (you can thank me later). However, what if someone unintentionally fused the two works together, ventral & dorsal like, creating an awkward yet remarkably unique vertebrae of sound? You don't have to be Julian Cope (10 years from now) to know that's what's happened on Hairdryer Peace. It don't exactly sound like neither, yet I see both them apparition's drivin this buggy just as clear as day. As far as best of list's go, the year's still young but if your askin me about singular & detached, hell, the 'competiton' is but a cloud of dust in Stonehouse's rear view mirror. Give that man a beer. Or at least a hug. Reach out to http://www.hairdryerpeace.com/ & procure a copy.


'The Howling', release numero deux by Jerusalem & The Starbaskets, sees the erstwhile duo of Kim & Jeremy embarking on a journey out of the virtual port of Christchurch into a pastiche of many seas & shores, none of which seem to have either onset or offset along their coastlines. Nor do I see any nuns flying overhead though there is the occasional flutter of the sails that might betray the lonliest sailor to pine otherwise. One might conjure that somewhere in the horse latitudes between this & that 1st split lp, JAtsB misread their sextant. For some that can be fatal, but these guys came out of it okay I reckon. Sure there appears to be a Magnum force drivin the ship that I'd hoped wouldn't happen but at least it weren't no mutiny where they was turned into slavery as a White Stripes derivation. Thank heavens! Cherish the good, cherish the good. So with that sentiment in mind, if these two wanna cavort w/a collective of elephants, who am I to question? I should say I really dug the last track on side A which sounded like they splayed Tommy James & The Shondells 'Draggin The Line' & used it for catfish chum in the Big Muddy. 300 pressed, get it via www.myspace.com/jerusalemandthestarbasket

If You've Got Nothing Nice To Say, Well, What Else Is New?.....Some Readers Speaketh!

Lot's of folks been writin in complainin about the lack of post's & offerin up their 2 cents. Normally I'd take it in stride but they's got a point about the truancy of my opinionatin. So I figured I'd turn over the spotlight to some of the one's that seemed most....concerned. Nice to know I got such vociferous readership & I'll admit it's a relief that none of'em is within hatchet distance either. And I mean that literally. I'd hate to have to show'em up w/my backwoods prowess. You ain't gonna get many smartass letters wrote w/yr head chopped off is all's I got to say in my defense. But I ain't nothin if not democratic, so's I'll turn the forum-such as it is-over to the huddled masses. Read'em & weep!




Dear Siltblog-
I have been a loyal reader of your blog as well as a longtime supporter of the Siltbreeze label but sometimes I have to wonder about some of your executive decisions. No, I'm not talking about the Resineators cd (though an explanation of that WOULD be appreciative), but whose idea was it to have your blog controlled by such a narrowminded jackass as Roland Woodbe? Is he really an idiot or does he just play on for this blog? I don't mean to get personal, but I (for one) am getting tired of seeing my borough-Brooklyn- get trashed on such a continual basis. Let's not forget, the New York Times penned Philadephia as the 6th borough not so long ago. Maybe Mr. Woodbe was too busy sucking off a goat to notice that one. I think it's criminal that Siltblog has never made mention of the amazing Religious Knives who are far & away the best band in the area. But I guess rising from the ghetto of new weird america doesn't count. Too band for you guys as you are missing out on a unique assemblage of sounds that access classic NYC minimalist's (Conrad,Niblock), vintage Krautrock (Cluster, Harmonia) as well as some of the veritable keyboard driven South Island artists you all seem so giddy about (Scorched Earth Policy, Snapper). Their most recent release is even recorded in Philadelphia, at Big Jar Books. Oh, I get it, you probably don't read books. Well, this isn't a book asshole's, it is a fucking AMAZING cd & I'd bet almost anything that neither of you were in attendance because, who knows, there was probably paint drying somewhere in town that you had to inhale. Get over yourselves! Listen to Religious Knives, I think you'll like what you hear. And you'd come to the hard conclusion that not everyone in Brooklyn is clueless & full of shit. Like you!

Sephora Nash-Bensen, Brooklyn, NY (Religious Knives cd via; http://www.archivecd.com/)


Hey Woodbe-

I likeded it when that guy called you a hillbilly ratfuck. Cause u r 1 duuude. Who else would completely miss the boat on such an amazing 7" ep like the one by Mayyors that just came out? What's the matter, you didn't get one for free, you cheap toothless snakeshit! Man, I'm hear to tell your retard ass Mayyors is takin over. My boy Chris Woodhouse OWNS on this one. Forget what you don't know about Karate Party & everything else he's been involved in, this one is the massive donkey punch that kills the lights & the fun. Front-bro John Pritchard ain't no slouch either (that's your job), these 2 Sactofornicators fuckin shred it w/all sorts of effects & shit, sounds like the Pop Group & Killing Joke beating each other with lacrosse sticks inside the engine of a 747. But what the fuck do you know about partying? Tell Psychedelic Dogshit they can suk a dikkk. Sacto punx rules, Siltblog drools!
PS-thanks for the tip on Titmachine. Those girls r HOTTTT.

Conner Peterson, Kirkyville, CA (Mayyors 'Marine Dot Com' 7" via; http://www.s-srecords.com/)



Hallo-

Many welcomes from Sweden where some of us love the writings or musings for Roland Woodbe. Not so much to read about on us from Siltblog, we can hope that new 7" by Black Bug will make this okay. If you do not know, Black Bug is dangerous & dark 2 piece of Lily & Ruslav playing very LOUD guitarr, drums & synthesizers. Also singing, who can forget! Lily is most intense vocalist but is also with dark humors I think. 'I Don't Like You' is fantastic loud punker but 'You A Grave' is death dancefloor hit of 2008. For me, is darkest, funniest song from Sweden since Leather Nun's 'Slow Death'. I am not for saying anything negative about Brainbombs who are of course legends, but is hard to know now how important the 'No Rules' ep was when it was unleashed so long ago. Black Bug have same blood pouring through veins & for only 2 people, you can be amazed how menacing sound can be. Funny, is available from Italian label who only to make 250 copies. I think is criminal, so hurry to get one. Keep up best works.

Gottfried Einar, Malmoe, Sweden (available via; www.myspace.com/avantrecords)


S'up Siltbuggy-

Hey, why so lame? There for a while you were like the best thing to read on the internet but what happened, you start takin that shitgaze shit seriously? I really wanted to read what you had to say about the new Eat Skull cause I hear Siltbreeze is putting out the lp (I'm personal friends with Rob, the main punk of the band). I remember some sadassballsac writing you a letter or something about the 7" on Meds. I couldn't tell if he liked it or not, but I'll assume it was a good review. Not that it matters a fuck to me. Eat Skull are the BEST! I like Little Claw alot too, but it's like comparing weed & hash, you know? Just depends on where your head's at. Mine is way up Eat Skull's ass, especially after this great 7" ep on Skulltones you seem to know NOTHING about. Dude, you are so missing out. 'Dead Families' is only the ravest tune yet this yr & while I love the bleating organ fills that sounds like a monkey's stuck dying inside it, that bass bridge is just too cool. And who the fuck does a Psycho Sin cover in 2008? And kills it? Take a wild guess you east coast turd gobbler. If anybody could be counted on to nail a cover of the Nubs classic 'Job', Eat Skull get my vote. The last track on here is really amazing, reminded me like that tune 'Whiter Shade Of Pale' that my dad used to listen to after he fired up a bowl in our basement when I was a kid, except this version sounds like someone ripped out the dude from Procol Harum's vocal chords, dredged them in cocaine, fried them up & fed them to Rob after him & Rod had polished off a case of beers. And he would have eatin them too, cause NOBODY embodies the true PUNK spirit like Rob Enbom. Fuckin 'ay. I know that lp is going to rule, so don't fuck it up or I will hunt you down & roast your fat carcass over a spit. EAT SKULL + PDX 4EVER.

Tammi Tearduct, Portland, Or (sold out at source, try http://www.midheaven.com/)

Some Good Things In Small Packages.....7" Reviews

A fair amount of snazzy 7"ers has come waltzin up to the door here at Siltblog. One or two is care of old pals, others from newbie's. Some careers will be forged, some dreams will be shattered but ain't that a day in the life anyhow?

Little Claw done an excellent lp last yr that I'd meant to include in my year end top picks but in my haste to ge the thing up, I inadvertently skipped it. Now they done this little fella in conjunction w/some western tourin & I was lucky enough to get one after an amazin performance at some record shop last wk in Austin. The 3 tracks included herein ably summon forth the bizarre beauty & mutant psychedelic frug once exclusively patented by Christchurch & Dunedin sodbusters whose names begin & end w/both vowels & consonants. I mean really, do I have to name them for you? This thing leads off w/the scratchy creeper crawl Little Claw is known for while the additional tracks work inside a space devoid of gravity yet brimming w/neon & helium. The exhale is pure ecstasy. This bunch just keeps gettin better. Edition of 300; www.myspace.com/littleclaw

Meth Teeth was unknown to me before this 4 song ep . It's on a label called Sweet Rot that I seem to recall released a Blank Dogs 7" last yr. Like Blank Dogs, I get the impression Meth Teeth is but a solo space ranger. He's got a cool detached sound very reminiscent of a past underrated hero of mine, Mike Runnels. If you's is familiar w/Mike's small but solid body of work, Meth Teeth is gonna seem like the prodigal son home for a bbq. Cool stuff. www.myspace.com/sweetrotrecords

Besides Country Teasers, Lamps is far & away my next favorite act on In The Red. I keep hearin good things by & about them & while their 2 lp's is proof as to an unabashed raw greatness, I ain't had pleasure (yet) of the live blood letting. Like Regan said in the Exorcist, In time, in time'. So while they's still not playin out east, they done this 7" for Hook or Crook & it's as swell as a cold beer on a hot day. On one side they gouge out a cover of Drunks With Guns 'Cowboy' while on the other shatterin some original-an ode to the bass player-that sounds like a pair've Mecht Mensch forceps extractin the teeth of Leather Nun. Your pain is their gain. www.myspace.com/hookorcrook

O Voids is probably the 1st band outta Montreal I've heard this year. Their approach & sound seems pulled right outta 82-83 American post punk, not all that dissimilar to Mission Of Burma. I've no doubt there are certain masonic like devotees who believe that NO ONE could EVER deliver like MOB & that a mere comparison to Boston's most hallowed band of all time are the words of a heretic. Guilty as charged, bub. What can I say? O Voids remind me of Mission Of Burma & sometimes that's a good thing. Even on here. www.myspace.com/theovoids


1st there was Meth Teeth, now Metal Teeth? Comin from a label named after one of the greatest blasts of punk sputter ever recorded, I'd expect some serious droolage. And maybe it's happenin, just not emittin from my lips is all. Sure there's a couple tracks that hover around Planet Cramps (good!) but there's others that plunge into the hokum cesspool of Girl Trouble (____!). If I didn't know this label was from K-Zoo, I'd have sworn it was a muffin direct from the cute little bakery known as K. How about that? http://www.ufodictator.com/

I don't know about any you's, but I'm havin a hard time cottonin to a band named after a Pavement tune. But I felt the same way about that band Driver UFO from a few yrs back too. I guess I ought to be happy they ain't called Math Teeth or somethin. Box Elders is from Omaha on a new label called Grotto. I was scared they might be some mewing emo outfit like Bright Eyes but that ain't the case. They's more like a cross between The Box Tops & The Bats. So what's that make'em, the corn husker answer to Able Tasmans? I guess that'll do for now. www.myspace.com/boxelders

The one thing that's consistently great about John Laux is his bands/projects is always on the outside lookin in. Lot's of folks want to have it that way, affectin all manner of weirdness to give you the impression they's for real oddballs & whatnot. But with Mr. Laux it's just how the DNA oozes.Slicing Grandpa is incredibly prolific & I'm goin on record as sayin they's at their best w/the 7" format. At least to my ears. This latest ep entitled Methset boils down more of the leftfield fat, ala Nervous Gender, that they'd set about torchin on the 'Chaos Midnight' 10" from last yr. Sinister squalls, long howls into the night, this is the dark side of psychedelic's where God is a dog & the wretched rule earth. Outta sight! Another primo Laux dropper is an ep from Count Fistula whose assemblage of Rock-gore takes Goth out to the woodshed & pulverizes it's fanny w/some good old fashioned wah-core sort've like the late, great Cleveland band, Numbskull. It's funny, but I only knows a handful of folks that's keepin up w/John & his output. One of these days all them 7"ers is gonna be history & your gonna be a simperin sap kickin yrself you slept gettin'em way back when. Maybe someone'll take pity on ya & compile'em all on an lp. Then again, maybe not. Can you afford to take that chance? Me thinketh noteth. http://www.myspace.daisycutterrecords/
& http://www.scatologicalliberationfront.org/

If you'd have asked me yesterday if I needed to hear another cover of the Stooges 'Wanna be your dog", the NO would've resonated like one of them Alps yodeller's in the Riccola commercial. But after hearin Titmachine's version of said overdone classic, I's liked to have choked to death on my cough drop. A tremendous neanderthalic, witchy all-fem DIY sucker punch right between the eyes of any of the greatest punk primitief classics you can name, right up there w/Kleenex & Manisch Depressiv. I'd have pegged'em as Swiss too, but they's Dutch & much like their infamous elm disease, Titmaster is more than capable of complete devastation. The B-side a wondrous mess as well & I am goin to the front of the line to wait impatiently for their next amazing release. C'mon, let's have it! NOW!
http://www.meeuw.net/ & www.myspace.com/titmachine

Never A Whimper, Always A Bang.....Siltbreeze 2008 Release Schedule Begins!

The 1st two lp's for 2008 & boy do they pack a whallop! Oper'azione Nafta are a trio from Sicily who descibe 'Cavuru' as "A blowjob from Luigi Russolo". If your at all familiar w/the famed Futurist & his Art Of Noise manifesto, then you'll know there is menace attached to this bold & perverse statement. I don't know how many Sicilian bands you've ever heard, but I'd reckon Oper'azione Nafta is a 1st for me. By the sound of this dude, they's as wild 'n woolly as you'd imagine, ranging from Sun City Girls styled osmotic improv, Etron Fou Leloublan's free wheeling jazz/rock attack & Butthole Surfers druggy, electronic, brain-punk meltdown. This is their 1st release EVER, an edition of 500. Like a shot of homemade grappa strained from God's nectary pumice direct to your lips. Buon appetito! Check'em out at; www.myspace.com/operazionenafta

Lp numero dos is the vinyl issue of Naked On The Vague's outstanding 'The Blood Pressure Sessions'. Originally appearing last yr on cd format c/o the mighty Dual Plover label, this Sydney duo really excell in summoning forth the spirit of Australia's finest synth/punk throbbers of yore, such as Primitive Calculators, Scattered Order & early Severed Heads. Tempered, aggressive, hypnotic & cool, Naked On The Vague deliver the goods like just about nobody else out there. The lp also an edition of 500.
Prices are 15$ each for lp's in USA, Canada 20$ & elsewhere 25$ per lp. If you want multiple copies, please write as we can accomodate a discount. Paypal/email us at; sltrx@pil.net

And as an added bonus, Naked On The Vague are in the midst of a massive US tour, the dates are as follows. For additional info/updates, go to; www.myspace.com/nakedonthevague




NAKED ON THE VAGUE USA TOUR
SPRING 2007
05 Apr 2008, 08:00 PM
VENUE TBA
Pink Reason, Psychedelic Horseshit, Tyvek
NEW YORK, New York,
08 Apr 2008, 08:00 PM
AS220
w/ Wolf Eyes and more TBA
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island
09 Apr 2008, 08:00 PM
YOD SHOP
FLORENCE, Massachusetts
11 Apr 2008, 08:00 PM
UFO Factory w/ Tyvek, The Guinea Worms
1345 DIVISION
DETROIT, Michigan
13 Apr 2008, 8.00pm
VENUE TBA w/ Tyvek, Psychedelic Horseshit
TOLEDO, Ohio
16 Apr 2008, 08:00 PM
AV-aerie
CHICAGO, Illinois
25 Apr 2008, 08:00 PM
FUNHOUSE/ w A-Frames, Meth Teeth
SEATTLE, Washington
01 May 2008, 08:00 PM
THE TWILIGHT w/ Eat Skull and more TBA
PORTLAND, Oregon,
03 May 2008, 08:00 PM
HEMLOCK TAVERN/ w TBA
SAN FRANCISCO, California
09 May 2008, 08:00 PM
VENUE TBA
BAKERSFIELD, California
11 May 2008, 08:00 PM
FAMILY/ w TBA
LOS ANGELES, California
16 May 2008, 08:00 PM - THE SMELL/ w SWFT WNGS, MGFKRS plus more
247 South Main Street
LOS ANGELES, California
20 May 2008, 08:00 PM
DING-A-LING w/ TBA
LOS ANGELES, California,

It's Fuckin Pissin Down The Road!.....A Few Words From Findlay Doodle

We're headed out to Austin, TX soon, so's the blog will be on hiatus till I get back. Or maybe it won't. An old bud of mine from back in the salad days, Findlay Doodle, is here to keep an eye on the cats so there's a good chance he'll take some time to peck out his thoughts concernin a few new releases what's piled up over near the turntable at Siltblog HQ. Findlay's more'n qualified, hell, he goes way back. If you's ever heard that track 'Big Tits Across America' on that Sex Pistols lp, 'Some Product' he's the jokester what called KSAN to talk to Paul & Steve about Psychotic Pineapple. As far as pranks goes, it's pretty small beans, but to the bunch of us in the room at the time, brains completely scrambled on acid, it was radical comedy. The (real) funny thing was he'd come out to SF not just for the show but to distribute some copies of The Pagans 'Six & Change' 7" he'd picked up for 50 cents apiece back in Cleveland. And nobody'd take'em! Yep, Findlay Doodle knows his shit, so I'm gonna turn over the forum to him this morning & I'll see y'all in a week or so.


Thank you Senor Woodbe, you are too kinds.....two kinds of ugly that is. Ha ha! I just love teasing that hillbilly ratfuck. Hey, how about that new release on the Black Velvet Fuckere imprint by an outfit named Amolvacy? It's called Ho-Ho-Kus & features a duck from Animal Collective on drums, a goose from NNCK ditto & a female vocalist/recitist jabbering a blue streak. It's very arty stuff, sounding not unlike something one might find w/the name Dagmar Krause attached to it back in the late 70's. It is also not so dissimilar to that group Officer! who did a couple lp's in the late 80's & were also firmly entrenched in the Canterbury sound/ethos. It's been a while since I've sported a beret, but the more I listen to this, the more that accessory seems essential. Pardon me, but can you spare any Grey Poupon? (http://www.fusetronsound.com/)


I just finished listening to the Birds Of Maya 'Vol 1' lp on Holy Mountain & while I hear some disturbing moves that glide a little too close to the glacial shitbergs found in the Bay of Sub Pop, there is also plenty to yap about on the plus side. Like how the in the red, nil-production quality accentuates their brut(e) rock discharge. Fans of that 1st Highrise lp or greasy truckers along the lines of Mad River, Jesse Harper & Human Instinct will definitely blow a brain nut if they let this one herniate their noggin. These guys make Dead Meadow sound like Weezer in comparison. (http://www.midheaven.com/)


There's a few releases here from someone/thing called Bipolar Bear & while I know I'm hardly the 1st person to roll my eyes at such a geeked out name, it certainly is telling as to the overall sound of the band. Let's see, there's a 10" split (w/Pope), a split 7" (w/Watusi Zombie) & a proper 7" of them all by their lonesome. They seem to want to fuse post punk moves (angular, jagged guitar) w/the bombast of 90's math rock & as I guess they're more readily familiar w/the latter, that what comes through the most. It's not advanced math mind you, but math nonetheless & if you multiply that w/bye-bye then I'm outta here. The 2 aforementioned bands that share the splits answer the equation; punk + house party x keg - guestlist =__________________. Dude, I don't even own a pair of Van's anymore. Peace out. www.myspace.com/bipolarbear


One of the more staggeringly great reissues to get ponied up into the fray has to be Raven's 'Back To Ohio Blues' lp. I 1st came across it a decade or so ago when it was booted by Rockadelic w/one of those lame paste on covers the label seemed to thrive on. Soundwise it was what it was; no one had gone to any extra effort for the vinyl-to-vinyl transfer, though you could tell Raven was the real deal. But somebody out there in Franklin County decided it was time Raven got his due & what you have here is a legit, official reissue, hand numbered & signed by Raven himself, replete w/liners by none other than Mike Rep. Raw, psyched-out blues rock of the highest, private outsider corner of the mid 70's DIY universe, 'Back To Ohio Blues' could easily be the appropriate bookend to another awesome stoned loner from the same period, Randy Holden's 'Population II' (which was reissued not long ago with similar flourish). While it's not as out there as David Welsh's 'Blue Lightning Accent' or as clumsy as Kenneth Higney's 'Attic Demonstration', you can certainly hear why it might've fallen on the same set of deaf ears. But that's always been the beauty of a vanity press; it's not about the audience but the author. Hard to know what drove Raven-I suspect he was a Cream fan, but elements of the Elevators & Velvets show up here as well-but he was certainly in tune enough w/the times to include a rousing drum solo alongside all his tasty licks. Stacked up w/that Tommy Jay reish lp & Columbus, Ohio seems to be the archive capital of America right now. You'll get no complaints here. www.myspace.com/backtoohioblues

Days Of Future & Past....Limited Edition Siltbreeze Posters Available!

The 2008 SXSW Festival will mark the 1st participation of a Siltbreeze showcase there EVER. To commemorate this event we have run off a limited number of silkscreened posters made for posterity's sake, after all it's sure to be the concert of the century, if not next week.
The artwork comes courtesy of an unknown stoner. I found the background (pencil) drawing of the drugs/paraphernalia tucked inside a used copy of Black Sabbath's 'Sabotage' lp many yrs ago. We added the band names, time, locale & presto, instant collectors item. Posters measure apprx. 14"x16", were handscreened by Mr. John Sharkey of Clockcleaner fame & a few were hand colored by various members of Times New Viking while they took turns sitting around a table making the contents of a bottle of Old Granddad disappear. First come 1st serve, posters are 13$ ppd US, 16$ elsewhere. They will be shipped in sturdy cardboard poster tubes so no creasing.
And in addition, we asked Mr. Sharkey to run off some ltd. copies of a much sought after poster for a Siltbreeze event that went down in the summer of 1994. Folks inquire about it all the time, now's your chance to snag a copy. Measurements are the same, cost too is 13$ ppd US, 16$ elsewhere.
As a special feature we will make available BOTH copies for 25$ ppd WORLDWIDE. Additional copies are 10$ per poster ` worldwide as well. Interested parties can paypal at; sltrx@pil.net to get'em. We'll have a handful at the showcase & when they're gone, they're gone & won't be reprinted. So act now!

Seitan, Seitan, Seitan!.....XnoBbqX Announce U.S. Tour

Not since
Throbbing Gristle's 2 date tour of America in 1981 has a band made such a grandiose stab at legendary tenure than XnoBbqX's forthcoming whirlwind USA blitzkrieg. Departing from Sydney, Australia the band is blazing across the country for 7, that's right, SEVEN live performances, then it's back to the southern hemisphere, shower, shave, up bright & early for work on Monday. Their debut lp on Siltbreeze, 'Sunshine Of Your Love' (still available in ltd. quantity, pressing of 500 nearly sold out) polarized the avant-minded cognoscenti like no other release on the label since Music Of The Shadow Ring's 'Put The Music In It's Coffin'. Such was the fanatical love for/hatred of the band (most notably evident on the Terminal Boredom message board) that we had to acknowledge xNobbQX as purveyors of a new genre called, Know Wave ('I know their great & you know their not'). One dusty scribe opined 'anyone can do this' which we deciphered to mean ' I mistook my ass for my head'. XnobbqX's patented brand of radioactive molasses ooze is not easy to pigeonhole (apologies to the English press, your on your own here) but let's just say that at the height of the orgy if Harry Pussy decided to take a shit on Mouthus' chest, here's hoping any right thinking copraphagiast would waste no time sating their hunger pangs by digging into this stooly gnarltasm.
Members Nick Dan (percussion) & Matt Earle (guitar) will also surely be peddling rare wares to those in attendance, Nick being the kingpin behind the estimable Pulled Out label, Matt the mastermind behind the incredible Breakdance The Dawn imprint. Look for copies of the awesome XnoBbqx picture disk (photo above), the latest release from Pulled Out (an lp by The Spiders, a great aggressive clattering improv bunch presumably from the Sydney area), as well as a smattering of BDTD titles & the aforementioned S/Breeze lp. So without further adieu, I present to you the XNOBBQX 2008 US Tour itinerary;

News
Releases
Artists
Sounds
Videos
Events
Blog
Contact
Links
xNoBBQx US tour '08
all the way from Australia! ..giving cooking lessons at the following locations..
March 8th @ Hemlock, San Franciscow/ Curse of the Birthmark + Tomes9:30pm, $7
March 9th @ The Smell, Los Angelesw/ Gang Wizard, Goliath Bird Eater + Wildildlife9pm, $5
March 10th @ PAs Lounge, Bostonw/ Infinity Window, Human Hairs + Puritan Agenda9pm, $8
March 11th @ Big Jar Books, Philadelphiaw/ Kurt Vile 8pm, $5 donation
March 12th @ Cake Shop, New Yorkw/ Totally Dad + The Groits8pm, $6
March 13th @ Soho Lounge, Siltbreeze Showcase @ SXSW, Austinw/ Psychedelic Horseshit, Eat Skull, Naked on the Vague, Blues Control, Pink Reason, Times New Viking, Ex-Cocaine, Mike Rep8pm till late, pass needed
March 14th @ 501 Theater, Austinw/ Total Abuse, Abe Vigoda, KIT, New Bloods, Naked On The Vague, Mutating Meltdown, Finally Punk, Strange Boys, Cry Blood Apache, Death Sentence: PANDA!, Ima Gymnist6pm, $5, (Open to public/All ages)
more info at http://www.myspace.com/xnobbqx

The Electric Rock Gathers No Moss.....Reviewable Reviews Reviewed

Just got some lp by a body(s?) called Folk Spectre whose uneven slink reminded me of a hazy night in Houston many yrs back, wrecked on darvon's & rum, tryin to remain vertical 'n left foot 1st as I slogged through the 6th ward (after attendin a Culturcide private party) back to my hotel somewhere downtown, 4th ward style. It sorta recalls the postoid Xpressway sounds of young NZ in the late 90's, you know, from whence alot of the New Weirdo's cribbed notes on how to sound improvisational. The earnest attempt to conjure up honest to goodness 60's-70's outsider aura's aint lost on me either, so let's just call this what it is; Brooklyn, 2008. As authentic & post modern as a farb at a Gettysburg reenactment. It did make me wistful for darvon, so hey, I guess that's something. How's it different from Spectre Folk? Write www.myspace.com/spectreflux for answers to this & other secrets of NY's 'music city' borough.

A split 7" from San Kazakgascar/The Master Musicians Of Hop Frog showed up from out Cali way & both seem smitten w/mid period Savage Republic though San K get the prize from best Ivory Coast tan. When Hermit The Flog ain't singin on the MMOHF track it sounds like it could be late night demo's from any've Siouxsie & The Banshees early 80's work. Guitarist E. loi has got John McGeoch's gothic twang all over him. Did someone say Razor Penguins? Quack, quack! Available via; http://www.latherrecords.com/ or http://www.urckrecords.com/

Word is this Factorymen 7" is a solo project from someone what's a member of Homostupids. That said, if you's a fan of the 2nd 7" release by that bunch-the one sided job on Richie Records-chances are your gonna enjoy a cuddle up w/this one. Fans of that Mattress debut should be charmed too, I'm sure. Frantic alien morse meltdown, both blip & blop, it makes me think 'n wish for the German Shepherds 7" on Siren that never existed. It would've been a dandy. And it is! Just now it's called Factorymen. http://www.bpdistro.com/


KDVS Recordings have another lp hot on the heels of the great 'Whose Your Favorite Sun, God?' one from last yr, this one by a duo dubbed San Francisco Watercooler. Honed by former Residual Echoes members Dave Novick & Jerry Encoe, SFWC is the dazzling result of a self imposed lockdown in Fiddletown, CA. The cannabinoid receptors are dead on, beamed into the psychedelic future of a sci-fi laden G Dead ancillary monster where Garcia still breathes lysergic air & one of those solo lp's-let's say 'Cats Under The Stars' for instance-has been regutted to sound like that ESP-Disk 'Electric Newspaper' collage anthology. Very humanoid lookin silk-screened covers to boot, surely not many made nor long for this world. Scoot off to; http://www.kdvsrecordings.org/ & secure a copy for your earthly abode.

Blah, Blah, Blah, Complain, Complain, Complain.....New Mammal's Really Good Though!

Slasher Risk is a duo outta Brooklyn (okay, so I looked at their Myspace page. I was bored!) who are dabblers in the 'been there, done that' scene of post weird america. To say their sound is non meritorious would belie that it is unremarkable in it's unremarkability. Most indubitably! Thy got an lp called 'Triple Jesus' out & if you've got a nice little stockpile of Magik Markers, Zaimph or any of that sort of stuff at the head of your collection, this is crucial in it's sameness. If you are a collector of records in editions of less than 300, regardless of how they sound, again, we are talking must-have here (#rd edition of 100). If your a discernin type then you've already been hornswoggled w/enough of this kinda stuff at the beginnin of the decade. Is it me or does most everything comin out of NY & the boroughs just smack of pretense & affectation? Hard to know how affected or pretentious Slasher Risk are, maybe not at all. Which is how many more times I'm likely to play their lp. Beep, beep!
www.myspace.com/slasherrisk


I really wanted to like A.M Haines Triumphant Ghost lp & I consider myself a stalwart supporter of the Foreign Frequency label but somebody better tell him the Japanese were all up into this free noise, white noise, power noise, whatever noise a long time ago. I have slept through lawn mowers goin round my head, been woken up w/a vacuum cleaner up against my ear, played my fair share of Masonna, Merzbow, Hijokaidan records at high volume & at no point during any of them experiences could I say "yeah, I can live here". Visitin's one thing. If A.M. Haines want's to take a walk or leave the house w/his electric razor runnin at full speed, that's his prerogative. Me buyin an lp of said noise....I guess that's my way of chippin in for the utility bill. You might be sayin 'Roland, you just haven't heard enough of this to be fair' or you could opine 'Roland, I think you've heard plenty', which is exactly what I'm thinkin. Family Pet it ain't. Oh well.
http://www.foreignfrequency.com/


This 7" ep from a SF group called The Mantles really stokes the node in it's uncanny similarity to old school Paisley Underground, you know, before it had been so sadly tagged. The strains, strums & streams that permeate so lost & wonderfully on this remind my tired soul of early Leaving Trains, The Last as well as the roster that made up Steve Wynn's Down There label. Nice going.Check it out at; www.myspace.com/dulcitonerecords


I'll admit, I picked up the Alrightee's e.p. on account of their label wavin a banner what read "Not Siltbreeze"! I don't know if them's fightin words or not. Maybe they's just jealous. It happens. Anyway, The Alrightees stammer & stumble forth down the beer 'n blood soaked path of jagged garage punk, complete w/a blown out, buried in the red live delivery on this 5 song duster. Reminded me of any number of ace outfits headed by Rob Vasquez a decade ago. I see a Goner Fest in their future for sure. Boom Chick is right, it's not Siltbreeze but that don't make it not good. It's holdin up just fine. http://www.boomchickrecords.com/


Gary Beavuvais sent a copy of the latest Mammal release, this plain white sleeved 7" on white vinyl that he done for the Bloodlust! label. Story goes these two tracks was taken from an aborted Mammal lp entitled 'Death Rider' which also functioned as a soundtrack to a film w/the same name. I dunno, to me, seems a shame that the thing was shitcanned. Mammal's at his friskiest here, layin down some serious gnarled biker rock guitar squalls over layers of programmed percussions. It got me thinkin the film is probably noddin hard into some heavy Anger (as in Kenneth) homage but I guess we'll never know. If your lookin for someone what's come to bury OM & not praise them, Mammal sounds up to the task. And how. Write; bludlust@mindspring.com or go to; www.animaldisguise.com/mammal for availability.

Der Schlachter Ist Mein Freund.....More reviews!

Ah, it's good to be home. I spent the day shoppin, gettin victuals for a splendid dinner. My buddy Orlando whose a butcher hooked me up w/a fine lookin leg of lamb which I dressed out myself & that dude is in the marinade as I write. He's gonna get roasted over a wood fire & served up alongside some fingerling potatos, sauteed swiss chard & (I'd reckon) many bottles of a certain Portuguese vinho tinto I have become partial to. Bully for me! But I ain't forgot you all. Here, eat this:



Killertree's got another archival release of Kzoo recordings, this time by Plants entitled 12/15/93. Plants was a trio consistin of Dunn-Olson-Ramirez (I'm assumin yr scorecard is up to date) & if you dug the Universal Indians lp what come out a couple yrs back, then this ought to satisfy in a similar fashion. Both sort've embody sounds what one might find on real early PSF releases, UI seemin more like Highrise where Plants're more tapped into a Haino-fied stylee. Turns out the Jesse Harper reish on Kissing Spell was the Excalibur for both. Oh well, hey, as inspiration goes, that's a topper. The Olson penned liners what lay out the history of Plants are hilarious & as you might imagine, embellishes the band/recordings w/way more ecstatic gusto than what actually comes through. I ain't criticizing none, just sayin that I got plenty of tapes of myself & friends + hrs of friends 'n friends makin a boss din & it sounds pretty great to my ears, takin me back to loonier carefree times. Who knows, maybe it's my bad I ain't thought about releasin any of it. But that's doubtful. Still, as rackets go, this is supremely racketable. And as a template it's also crucial; here's the edenic starting point for alls what has followed (UI, Graveyards, Dead Machines, Ex-Cocaine). For me road cone's is always a sure sign of trouble & if this Plants lp don't prove that in spades then my Kentucky grass ain't no more bluer than my blood. Dig it at; http://www.killertree.com/

I picked up this 7" from an Austin outfit called Finally Punk even if the clerk insisted on making mention that they was quasi Riot Grrl. Alls I got to say about that is I don't give a flying fuck about antiquated politics. So then I'm thinkin they must be from Olympia or thereabouts & was happier than a priest at a weiner roast to find out they was from Austin, TX. Sure, they got the hard bop of the Pac Northwest's more illustrious finger waggers but what I dig about'em is hows they come off like a modern day personification of The Foams. There's lot's of shameless fun & frantic dischord goin on. It don't seem about gender issues, trans or otherwise, nor is it seeped in allegorical mishmosh. Thank you! This also comes w/a cdr of further material that I'm lookin forward to as well. It's great that Tobi Vale's a fan & even greater that I didn't let that fact dissuade me from buy this (ding!). All you old Foams fans unite! Finally Punk is bringin it all back home. Who'd have thought? Available via http://www.s-srecords.com/ or direct; www.myspace.com/finallypunk

Another Tejas 7" that showed up on my doorstep is a 4 song ep by a band what's called Hearts Of Animals. Actually I suspect it's a solo effort but I'll check the facts later. Right now it don't matter. There's elements that smack hard of shoegazer nonsense like Velocity Girl & that ilk, but when it flys-which it does on 2 tracks-it soars through the same jet stream as Amos & Sara or Family Fodder. Really terrific diy dub/psych minimalism & it might be the 1st record to come outta Houston that I kinda like since Charalambides split that swamp. Thanks to the Dull Knife label for thinkin of ol' Roland Woode. Find this at either; http://www.heartsofanimals.com/ or http://www.dullkniferecords.com/

Lastly (& bestly), I wanna let yous all know about the 2nd release on the already esteemed Malt Duck label. Entitled Them, Themselves or They, this is a crucial swab of cracked weirdo experimentalism with stunning rich undertones that is as tranfixing & eerily bewildering-in real time-as DDAA, The Makers Of The Dead Travel Fast, Ludus or Kosmonautentraum was back in halcyon yore. Made up of former members of Eat The People, Sally Strobelight + others I have never heard of (either), I am very curious & anxious for someone to get the ball rollin on releasin MORE Them, Themselves or They as well as delvin into the vaults to get these other Sac-Town whackers works into the ears 'n arms of us appreciaters. Thankfully this too comes w/a a bonus cdr so I'll have somethin soothin to listen to later while that lamb rolls around on the spit. Shit, this thing has got me so giddy w/delight that I'm gonna have to call it one of my favorite 7"ers of the year thus far. Malt Duck is battin 1000% & I suspect they got nowhere to go but up. Write to http://www.maltduckrecords.com/ & get in on the ground floor.

Down But Not Out.....New Reviews For You's To Peruse!

Well I reckon I've done gone & pissed away whatever readership I'd built up here on Siltblog by bein so delinquent. Couldn't be helped none, that's just how the cards was dealt. It ain't everyday your girlfriend inherits a huntin lodge, so when MG got word that her Grandpa Jinks had left the family place in the Pocono's to us, we hightailed it up there to see what she got. We'd heard tell of the place from family stories but ain't no one mentioned nor visited there in a coon's age. Jinks & his 2nd wife'd done moved to Florida years ago while the rest of'em held tight in western Kentucky & thereabouts so this grand old chalet of yore was sittin up in them mountains, abandoned & forgotten. And it was in some state when we's got there, let me tell you! Once we got rid of all the critters, I got to settin about fixin the structural foundation. I was lucky 'cause there weren't much snow to speak of then, but once I got to orderin drywall, new tiles & all the rest've the labor intensive nut's 'n bolts of the operation, it got to comin down in buckets. I got hit with delays, was even stuck livin up there for a while too. It was like The Shining in a way, not as luxurious (yet) as that manor, nor was there any ghosts to speak of near's I could tell. Course, after a couple days of bein isolated I'd have welcomed a Lloyd as much for the Jack Daniels as the company. I finally got the hang of it & am now pretty much in the final stretch of construction. The drive to & from the Fishtown has done sapped me of just about all creativity & by the time I get home & settled in, my whole body aches. But I've done near rebuilt that place by myself & once it's finished, it sure is gonna be somethin to crow about. You go & fix up a dilapidated hunting lodge from near scratch-ALONE- in the middle of winter & tell me it's a walk in the park. I don't think so! Once spring hits & the thaw comes we's set to do the finish carpentry, paintin, crown moldin, get the floors brought back....by this fall I'll be a man of all seasons. I intend to be the master gamesman, takin on all comers. And let me tell you this; there ain't nothin more satisfyin than a saddle of bear! Even the old lavender chef himself, James Beard, knowed that much. I'm gonna make one of them Brazilian meat platters look like a Cub Scout cookout. But I got a little ways to go & since I finally got me some downtime, here's a few records what I listened to that I figured I'd pass on to you;

This new lp by Vizusa come just yesterday so I figured, why wait? It's on a label called Seres & if they's got other stuff out-either the band or label-I don't reckon I know about it. Anyway, this Vizusa lp has got a pretty cool heavy creep vibe to it, like a less self indulgent Jarboe outing, or a more Goth-warped Magik Markers. Then again, if I walked into a room while this was playin & you told me it was a Beme Seed record I wouldn't blink either. Ding! Check'em out at http://www.vizusa.com/

Another in a series of save-the-tape recordings has hit the turntable, this one by lost in time band, The Drills. Hailin from Seattle, these guys was definitely from the other side of the Punk tracks & I mean even further down the pike than Helen Keller, Solger, Fartz or Extreme Hate. Their manta was 'take it through the wall' & boy do they! They resided in a place called the Death House & at the time of these recordings the main fellas was long in the tooth, bein 30 & 32 yrs old. So I guess Ted Falconi didn't have nothin on these geezers. The Drills didn't waste no time on stance, politics, society, they went straight for the heart. The result was an astounding crud-fi racket complete w/chatterin vocals, signifying nothin. It's killer. Had this come out in real time it'd be as sought after as Opus, Billy Wizard or them Queers 7"ers. But it didn't & you don't have to wait for a boot or try & find it on a Killed By Death comp. At least not yet. Drop a line to dirtyknobby@yahoo.com & perhaps your prayers will be answered.

The Columbus Discount label has released a trio of new vinyl that have all made a lasting impression, one of which predates the label itself. Recorded mostly throughout the 80's (one track bein from '74) Tommy Jay's Tall Tales Of Trauma spent many yrs as an acorn (that's Woodbe code for cassette-Capt'n Siltbreeze) before the CDR crew seen fit to let it grow into the majestic oak it always has been. Some may know Tom's work as a collaborator 'n agitator to Mike Rep & I'd bet there's even some of you's what recall his True Believers 7", 'Accept It' on Rep's Old Age label from the early 80's. You might say Tall Tales is an extension of that record, albeit a more personal endeavor. Throughout the yrs of hearin it on tape I'd always looked at it like one man's attempt to make his own version of 'Berlin'. In the world of Lou Reed fans that's a record that seems to be either loved or reviled & in the hamlet of Harrisburg, Ohio it's no secret which side of the line these guys stand behind.Take away the Bob Ezrin production, the maudlin, heavy handed sap & snark of Lou's amphetamine ego & hey, I'd say you got as pretty close doppelganger. There's all sort's of sweet overdubs that makes this DIY effort so protean whether they be strings, keyboards, the odd creak or a fluttering woodwind. And in the middle of it all is Tom's vocals & arrangements, standin hard, like a moden day Prometheus. 'Tall Tales' ain't exactly the fire stolen from Zeus, I mean, Lou's 'Berlin', but it was sort've hidden from most humans for many yrs. Thankfully the format it has so richly deserved now claims it as one of it's own. It's a grower that knows no limits.
Guinea Worms are a Columbus mainstay what's released a slew of cdr's through the yrs but only 1 7" I knowed about before this one come into the fold. I don't know if it's the Rep LFW 'production' but the a-side ('Box Of Records') is a solid slab of Screamin Mee Mee's styled cheeseburger sludge that slides down the gullet like a sack've of White Castles. The flip (I'm A Cobweb') is another past soundin blaster, this time conjurin up Clevo art skronkers, Modern Art Studio & it has been a long time since I thought of them. The other 7" what needs hollerin about is a new one from Necropolis. All's I remember from a debut 7" & followup lp a few yrs back was they sounded like The Adult Net or somethin. But adherin to a steady diet of Vicodin poppers & Black Label floats will most surely spin a band's direction into the hazy, black pitch of the unknown. So when I tell you's all that this 'Song For A Working Man' 7" makes'em sound like they woke up in a scrap heap once called home by a certain band on the Shove label, hopefully you'll know what I mean. How'd they get there? Write'em at http://www.columbusdiscountrecords.com/ & find out yourself.

Last but not least is a local release by a band what right out of the gate has laid to waste the entire current crop of Euro synth/slush Chrome extractors. FNU Ronnies ain't in no way Chrome obsessed unless you call takin a huge shit on Helios Creed's head a form of tribute. The lip moves these guys gabble forth slur around the atmosphere like a mist've toxic mold spores before dropping into the wanton wire 'n drum carnage & the whole thing sounds like a drunken Borg short-circuiting to a lethal mix of equal parts Deutch-Amerikanischen Freundschaft's debut & Wire's 'Pink Flag'. This one needs to heard to be coveted. Track'em down at; www.myspace.com/fnuronnies & http://www.testostertunes.blogspot.com/


That's all for me right now. I gotta whole mess've other work what's callin my name. But I got lot's more to go on about, so hopefully it won't take a month to get back to you. Until then, eat more bear!

Out.

Better Late Than Never.....Siltblog's Best Of 2007 Roundup

A happy 2008 to all's you readers in Blog Land. I've been pestered into doin a Best Of list for 2007 by some ardent peepers out there so here it is. Course, I've probably forgot a lot, this here list was composed in a matter of minutes & come direct for the recesses of my brain. It don't get much fresher! Thanks to all of you's who made 2007 a great year for Siltbreeze too. New titles on the way in Feb. Look for our SXSW showcase in March as well. I'll make sure to keep y'all posted.

Here we go!
Some lp's;

Blues Control-Puff (Woodsist)
Las Llamarada-The Exploding Now (S-S)
Sic Alps-Description Of The Harbor (Awesome Vistas)
Bad Trips-S/T (Rocketship)
Circle Of Ouroborus-Shores (Northern Sky)
Mammal-Lonesome Drifter 2xLP(Animal Disguise)
Tropa Macaca-Marfim (Ruby Red)


Some cd's;

Aufgehoben-Messider (Holy Mountain)
Blues Control-S/T (Holy Mountain)
Graham Lambkin-Salmon Run (Kye)
Naked On The Vague-The Blood Pressure Sessions (Dual Plover)


Some little guys;

Los Llamarada-The Very Next Moment 7" (S-S)
Car Commericals ep (Leaf)
Clockcleaner-Frogrammer 7" (Richie)
Tyvek-Dbl 7" (What's Your Rupture)
Spider ep (HoZac)
His Electro Blue Voice-Fog/Das 7" (S-S)
Eat Skull ep (Meds)
El Jesus De Magico ep (Columbus Discount)
Fabulous Diamonds ep (Nervous Jerk)
Slicing Grandpa-Chaos Midnight 10" (Strain Theory)
Mattress-Have You Heard 7" (Malt Duck)
Wooden Shjips-Sol '07 7" (Sick Thirst/Holy Mountain)

Some reissues & refinds;

Cassettencombinat-West Berlin 1980-81 3xLP (Vinyl On Demand)
Tommy Jay-Tall Tales Of Trauma LP (Columbus Discount)
Johnny Moped-Bootleg Tapes I & II 2xLP (Damaged Goods)
Nisennenmondai-Double 12" (Heartworm)
Ainotomenishis-Live '4 18 LP(Holy Mountain)
Church Police-Gilligans Wings 7" (Skulltones)
Messthetics-All volumes-CD (Hyped2Death)
Chrissy Zebby Tembo & Ngozi Family-My Ancestors LP
Afflicted Man-Complete Recordings 2xCD
Better Beatles-Mercy Beat LP (Hook Or Crook)
Figures Of Light-It's Lame 7" (Norton)
LSD March-Empty Rubinous Red LP (Tequila Sunrise)

Live;

Hank IV
Little Claw
Sic Alps
Blues Control
The Clean
Clockcleaner
FNU Ronnies
Los Llamarada
Whose Your Favorite Son, God?

Assault & Buggery, Or......Looks Who's Back!

Man, who'd have thought that doin a little music blog would become such a Sisyphean (or is it Herculean?) task? It ain't that it's unrewardin or a bother, only thing is once I stumble, it's hard to get that balance back. See, I got's all manner of other, more pressing activities that need my constant attention. I wouldn't call it National Security but then I wouldn't NOT call it that either. Like Roy Batty says at the end of Blade Runner "I've seen things you little people wouldn't believe". Okay, it ain't been no attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. Yet. Not for nothin, but I spent some time & enrolled in a writin workshop that damn near got me hog tied. I thought I might never peck on a keyboard again! The instructor I had, a Mr. Chauncey Legroux sure was a piece of work. Sort've like something created by GB Shaw & WS Burroughs. He carried certain airs about him & had this clipped diction (like Henry Higgins) but had been physically wrecked by a heroin overdose & was now handicapped.He'd been in a coma for a sustained period & claimed he'd lost oxygen to his brain for a spell, so's when he came to, he no longer had any feelin in his limbs. They'd since withered & atrophied, so he tooled around in a jazzed up Rascal constantly spouting compositional rhetoric. He sported this rakish beard & always wore perfumed ascots. Plus he had this little bald head & constantly had a pair've rose tinted reading glasses perched on the end of his nose. Anyway, he was a bit younger than me (but I was the oldest in the class by a mile) so's I found all his polished foppery quite amusing. Plus he was an unabashed fan of Emo & his mobile was covered w/band stickers. Getup Kids, Dashboard Confessional & Jimmy Eat World was his favorites & he credits the band Heroin for gettin him into that drug in the 1st place. He had a huge crush on the botox lookin fella in Fall Out Boy & some nights in class he'd go on & on about the originality of that bands lyrics (or "poetry" as he called it). Then he'd have the gall to tell me my writin wasn't no good, that my "naturalist style" needed to be abandoned. "Modernism pupil Woodbe" he whimpered to me once, "perhaps that is a genre that requires your....petulant curiosity". I didn't know what he meant by that exactly. I figured he was being smug, so I decided I'd do him one better next time in. The upcoming assignment was an oral presentation where we was all expected to present a narrative aloud. When my turn came I didn't have no written story to talk from, rather I told of the time one of my old housemates came home from work early & laid claim to the bathroom for about an hour. Finally he come downstairs to the kitchen & joined me at the table for a cup of coffee. Meanwhile the other housemate we had followed him in the lav to do his business. Suddenly there was this horrible scream & we both shot up the stairs to see what was the matter. Our roomie was standin there aghast, pointin at the toilet & sayin "what the fuck is that"? Standin up outta the bowl was this humongous turd that looked like Nessie skimmin across the waters of Loch Ness. The thing was risin at least 3 inches atop the seat & went clean down the drain pipe! As disgustin as it might have been, it was still perversely amazing. We just looked in shock at the erstwhile culprit who was now getting defensive. "Fuck you guys" he screamed, "I'm sick"! With that he grabbed a bath towel made his way to the john, bent down & gently smothering his freakish defecation, picked it up, walked down the stairs then outside to a public trashcan & tossed it away. Upon his return he shot us the bird, got in his car & drove off. End of story. As you's can imagine, the class was beside themselves w/laughter. Except for ol' Chauncey whose bottom lip was quiverin so bad I thought he might vomit. He screamed for order then began to berate me for my tale, saying it was COMPLETELY lacking of structure, verisimilitude, tact & maturity. "You know pupil Woodbe, if your so keen to recount infantile tales of boys & bowel movements, perhaps you should join a dart league & leave serious writing to those of us serious OF writing". I walked over to his cripple cart, crouched down & asked him if he was such a fan of shit like Split Lip, how about I give him one & see how much of a fan he was then? He smiled & said "you wouldn't dare". In that instant I whipped out & unpeeled an old Rites Of Spring sticker I found at an AIDS/thrift store & popped it hard over his mouth, rendering him mute. Then I grabbed my bag & walked out of the classroom to the thunderous roar of applause & if I may say so, a standing ovation. As I was making my way through the parking lot, I looked up & saw the silhouette of his baby head rockin against the giant headrest, listenin to him scream as I opened my car door; 'UNFUNNY! UNFUNNY MR. WOODBE! GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU SIR! YOU ARE A CUR! YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT, NEVER"! I chuckled to myself & drove off. I have to wonder though; if all college's is filled w/such self centered clowns as writin instructors, it's a wonder anyone learns anything. I weren't ever worried about 'makin it'. Far as I'm concerned, makin it out was the wisest lesson I learned. Besides, how many more flowery words does I need to know? Now I'm back to the drawin board which is this here Blog & I couldn't be any more happier about that then if I was a pig in shit. So here we go;


I ain't thought of Johnny Moped in many a moon so when I was told there was a dbl lp of his bootlegs tapes now available, I damn near choked on my lager. For years I'd heard tell of a 'demos' 7" what was impossible to find & had never knowed anyone that had ever heard it, let alone own it. I'd always been partial to his Chiswick releases but it had been a long time since I'd laid eyes or ears on them records. My recollection was it being high energy rock-somewhere between pub & punk-by a hyperactive recluse & some 'famous' friends. But the demos thing had always alluded me & I had wondered what the fuck could all the fuss be about? I mean, it seemed to be on every want list I ever seen. Bootleg tapes? I had no idea what that meant neither. So I took the plunge on this 2 record set via Damaged Goods & I am a better man for the risk. Whatever I reckoned I was in store for (rattier soundin verions of his classics) is there, but that ain't nothin to do w/the legendary demo's 7" nor the (unknown to me) original bootleg tape. Or let me put it this way, what I didn't know might kill me. From laughter. And admiration. Unfurling from an audio time capsule (circa Croydon-mid 70's) the sundry, ale soaked DIY genius of Johnny Moped & friends is a goddamn riot & a half. Recorded mostly in bedrooms (ala Swell Maps & other champions of the era), there's many great diamonds in the rough that'd later be fleshed out on the Cycledelic lp, but the real creme de la creme is the various "bits" & interviews. These guys was havin a ball & I for one am finally glad to've gained access to the party. Listenin to 'The Wolf Man & Dracula' or 'These Students', it seems totally plausible that the idea behind them excellent Billy Childish/Sexton Ming lp's what come out in the 80's might've been inspired as much by the (original) Bootleg Tapes as any Ivor Cutler record. Sorta reminded me of the best moments on that Jack Starr lp what come out on Norton too. And w/a song like 'Save The Baby Seals' on board as well, there seems to be no reason to ever wanna hear the Rotters 'Sink The Whales' ever again. This one came totally outta left field & bowled me over & even if your as bored as I am of havin to constantly brush up against tired recollections from all the old Brit "originaters', here's one that'll really take you's for a spin. Nice to finally have it. And then some. In US try http://www.midheaven.com/
elsewhere at http://www.damagedgoods.co.uk/


Another fella what appears not to give a fuck about playin w/a full deck is Ross Johnson. And the Goner label has seen fit to collect a cornucopia of his most excellent howls, jabbers, jams & gems on a cd entitled 'Make It Stop! The Most Of Ross Johnson'. Granted, my 1st time through I thought by the time it finished either him or me needed to be committed to the bug house, but the next time up his sotted vision come through LOUD & clear. I's known of Ross' work from (mostly) Panther Burns & always wondered who the real loose nut was in that band. As eccentric & irrasible as Tav might be, it's no secret now that it was Ross Johnson what was really shakin that tree. And teamin up w/Jeffery Evans...there hasn't been a more formidable axis of lunatics since Hitler & Mussolini. Ross ain't afraid to let it fly & put it all on the line; cowardice, drinkin, toy dogs, Christmas...they's all totems for his fun & fury. I gather Ross lives by the mantra 'It never happened" & as much as I can appreciate his self deprecation, I'm glad it did, whether he's in denial or not. The evidence is here. Do not be weak & afraid. Go to http://www.goner-records.com/ for more info.


One more dude what deserves some spoutin off is a gent what goes by the moniker of The Jaguar. Hailin from Wisconsin his ouvre come to my attention by way of Mr. Pink Reason who embellished the Jaguar's plight by claimin he had "zero fans". Hey, what about me? I can't says I know a whole lot about Jaguar, meaning, outside of this cdr called 'Trash Blues Bucket' I have no idea how many other releases he has packed away. Pink Reason says he's been doin "this" since the 80's so I would imagine there's a hefty back catalog lyin in wait. That said, on the surface he reminds me of another upper midwestern loner, Skidd Freeman. But Skidd relishes & shines in garage Punk rock idiom while Jaguar seems-literally-conjured out of a trash Blues bucket. At times his edifice recalls structures similar to Jandek, then you come across a high lonesome hamonica 'n yelp that sounds like the Legendary Stardust Cowboy has invited himself over, when suddendly-wham!- your buried in an electric murk of post, post, post Dead C (okay, Ashtray Navigations. ding!) detuned distemper. So he's never in one place for long. It's hard not to appreciate the guy's dedication & intent. If this was a cassette on Fuck It, Drone Disco or some label of that ilk, Jaguar might be more well known among the ecstatically erudite, but as it is, he is an island not yet chartered among the cognesceti. But fortune's change all the time. And don't I know it! Check him out at www.myspace.com/thejaguaroffoxcities



That's all's I got for now. Lot's more to come, maybe even a best of list. Until then.....
Beep! Beep! I'm outta here!