Where's Jake Rivera When You Need The Man.....Mors Ontologica's 'Don't Cry' LP

Mike Rep's got about a good've set of ears as I know, so when he sends us a record for perusal, we respectfully peruse. The guy's credentials are right on, whether it's on the topic of the Quota's, Vertical Slit, the 'Propeller' lp, Times New Viking, you just can't say enough. It's the stuff of legend & not just in his mirrors. But there's also the side to Mike that will honestly tell you that Nico was great right up till that last bike ride, or that Lou Reed might "still surprise us". Sentimental? No doubt, but the man believes & while I don't share his Quixotic notions I'll still give him props for holdin on. I suspect this was the side of him that wanted me to hear this debut lp by Mors Ontologica called 'Don't Cry'. Why the hunch? 'Cause if I didn't know better I'd guess the record was 30 yrs old if it was a day. Mors Ontologica chug out gravel throated, sax fueled, mid tempo rock that's aggressive in a pre dawn punk sort of way, not unlike the halcyon sounds of earlier fellow staties such as Rubber City Rebels, Bizzaros, Tin Huey or Numbers Band. Challenging but not in your face. Not yet anyways. If I close my eyes when this is playin I can still count the mile markers on 77 between Cleveland & Akron, the smell of molten rubber flarin in my nostrils. A room full've flared jeans, down vests, earth shoes & feathered hair comes flashin back. And them's the girls! Not the most pleasant of memories, but what the hell? Somebody was pushin the envelope. And it was fun. Then. I don't know that I need a reconstruction now but I appreciate the spirit emanating out've of 'Don't Cry'. It's challenging-again-but this time there's plenty of water under the bridge w/many swimmin holes to choose from. I ain't the same hopper I once was, fuelled on Black Label & Marlboro's, boogie'n down to aggressive strains of forward motion barroom rock. But maybe this is the current that floats your boat. Mike Rep's got his skipper's hat cocked at a jaunty angle & is on board w/Mors Ontologica. And while we obviously saunter w/2 different set've sea legs I'll have to agree w/his cabinboy on this; he might not always be right, but he's never wrong. Toot, toot, thar she blows!
(contact Mors Ontologica at; mors@vssrecords.com & ask for their limited edition cd while your there)

School's Out Completely.....Violent Students 'Street Banger' cd/ep

A long layoff I know, but it couldn't be helped. The saying goes "absence makes the heart grow fonder" so let's see about that. How's come I was shutdown? John Law, that's how come! I got pinched in some sting operation transportin liquor (3 cases of almond tequila) from Delaware across to Pennsylvania. I know'd that PA has a hardon for such activities, so imagine my suprise when I got pulled over by Delaware statey's & was asked to show the contents of my trunk. I couldn't believe it. So I was taken in, processed, made my phone call & then went directly before the judge what sentenced me to 30 days in the hole. But it weren't no regular jail. This was more like some experiment, they called it a concentration camp. Seriously! No, not like them one's the Nazi's had, this was a real concentration camp where all you'd do is ponder-and be reminded- about the raw hand you was dealt. It was like one of them Quaker penetentiary's in the olden days, but w/jello & tuna fish."Think, Woodbe, concentrate, con-cen-trate" the omnipresent guard would bellow all day long, "what error in judgement put you here? Admit the truth & the truth will set you free"! Error in judgement...fuck that guy! I thought alot, that's for sure, thought about all then delicious RJ's* I wasn't drinkin on account of bein locked up in a hillbilly nuthouse. This shit was harshin my mellow somethin fierce! Then this past Saturday the cell door opened & I heard a voice over the loudspeaker say "Roland Woodbe you are now free to move about the country". Corny I know, but that is the wit of America's 1st state. Outside the "prison walls" (basically a cyclone fence. The camp wasn't nothin more than a converted Tower Records shop either. I didn't notice when they put me in cause it was night. Talk about funny.) there was Miriam waitin w/a hired limo & dressed to kill. Bein the thinkin lady she is, they'd 1st swung down to Maryland & picked up a case of the contraband hooch for some celebratin up Fishtown way. I don't remember the ride back at all as we was busy w/our own version of the Kama Sutra there in that spacious backseat (if you's know what I mean). Once we was delivered home, I noticed somethin nailed into the front door. Behind a note readin "welcum bakkk" (it appeared to be written in snot & smeared across the paper w/a finger) was this here Violent Students cd. How'd they know? I looked over to Miriam & she just shrugged her shoulders. Well hell boys, thanks alot! Now we had somethin to play while we slung our drinks. And man was it ever an appropriate soundtrack for democracy, freedom & cocktails. Listenin to the crunch 'n gutterous thud of 'Street Banger' (not to mention a few belts into the 'Mr H'* action) I got to thinkin; what if Oscar Goldman had decided to spend that six million dollars turnin Steve Austin into a human cement truck? Garglin all that gravel, limestone & concrete mix in slow motion woulda sounded alot like the sub industro-metal ejaculate spewed out durin 'Flying Priest'. And who wouldn't want to see a remake of Godzilla vs. Mothra but w/Highrise & Boy Dirtcar dukin it out in them roles this time? I would! And by the sound of things on here, so would Violent Students. On this ep these guys have got a tiger by the tail. And when I say tiger, I mean as in Tiger Tank. And where does a Tiger Tank rumble? Anywhere it fuckin wants! You know that scene in Frankenstein where the monster picks up the girl & throws her in the lake? It's alot like that, except now it's a Tiger Tank runnin over Mecht Mensch in a wheelchair flattin them to bits. Next time you play their 'Acceptance' ep, imagin hearin it comin from 'the other side' & mangled almost beyond comprehension. Or just buy the Violent Student's 'Street Banger' cd ep instead. Same difference but this time the warts are genital. Dig it, it's not just the toad that's off the hook on this one. Buy & behold.
(contact http://www.aquariusrecords.org/ or email richie.charles@gmail.com for further info)

* The RJ (aka "The Mr. H"); a cocktail named after the actor, Robert Wagner. Wagner claims no knowledge of the drink, hence it's origin & inventor remain unknown. Recipe as follows;
1/2 oz almond tequila
3/4 oz medori liqueur
a splash of orange juice
a spash of lime juice

1-fill a cocktail shaker with ice.
2- add tequila, medori, orange & lime juice to blend & chill.
3-strain into a old-fashion or martini glass.
4-garnish with orange twist.

(Supposedly this was what William Holden was quaffin back when he gashed his head on the side of a nightstand & bled to death in Nov. of 1981. So remember; DRINK RESPONSIBLY).

Everybody Loves.....'Shakedown' Compilation CD

Since we was just harpin about goins on in the land down under, now's as good a time as any to keep it up. To reiterate, the Aussie Punk basket has been spilling over w/steaming eggs of greatness since the inception of said genre & if you weren't there at ground zero when any one of the immortal platters was unleashed on a pickle-eyed public, there have been many upon many compilations released so's to catch up & be astounded by such a sharp 'n dapper output. For instance, the two 'Murder Punk' volumes & the 'Can't Stop It! one are indispensable as cream skimmers for both the deranged & detuned. Then just when you'd thought they'd covered it all came a Bloodstains entry ponyin up w/some very curious omissions that was as bewilderin as they was breathtakin, especially the entries by Just Urbain (aka Section Urbane), Young Identities & Bodysnatchers. Seems these bands was all from Brisbane & was buried in the shadows of Radio Birdman & the like, but their brand of D.I.Y. halitosis was the breath of severity I'd been looking for. After some investigatin & favor callin I come to find out all these bands was on a label called Savage Music/Shake Music & any of the records I'd be wantin weren't likely to come around anytime soon. Then I got an email from Rich Stanley at Dropkick informin me that his label had flogged together a cd compilation entitled 'Shakedown; Original Brisbane Punk 1979-83'. On it was everything from the Savage/Shake discography, meanin all the cuts by Just Urbain, Young Identities, Bodysnatchers & most've a cassette release from a band called Kicks. What can I tell you? Wrappin my brain around the sheer awesomeness of this collection is staggering. It easily ranks at the top as one of the all time BEST of ANY label comp, but also matches up completely w/the whole of the Messthetics/H2D series which is one tall order if you's ask me. Granted, after a while the Kicks tracks start to resemble a bridge over the river Goth, connecting Bauhaus to Ronald Koal & The Trillionaires but I'm usually so blown away by then it don't matter. Readin the liners & stats, you realize that if you wasn't from Brisbane-or in one of the bands-chances are you'd never come across any of these records. Pressed in runs from 100-300 they wasn't gettin anywhere fast & didn't really give a shit to begin with. These was for the fried 'n few & if you didn't dig it, fuck you anyways. What they turn hands for nowadays who knows, but Dropkick has solved that dilemma for those of us not married into money or inheritors of trust funds. Like I said, great recollections from label honchos David Holiday & Peter Miller (both of whom was in Just Urbain) some photos, plus a track listing that won't quit, really just an incredible assortment of crud that I'd reckon most folks had no idea existed. If you've ever wondered what it would take to connect Door And The Window to Mentally Ill, here's your blueprint Franklin. Bottoms up.

(contact; http://www.dropkick.com.au/)

Viva La Rock & Roll.....Eddy Current Suppression Ring's 'S/T' CD

The (punk) rock action of Australia is so timelessly formidable that's it's no surprise that a band such as Eddy Current Suppression Ring would call the continent home. Personally I've always preferred the rampant insanity of groups like the Birthday Party over the rote inanity of Radio Birdman & when the old Saint's vs. Laughing Clowns debate rears it's head I'm firmly in the latter's camp, though I have yet to fall asleep (EVER!) while listenin to the 1st Saints lp. Not that none of that has a thing to do w/ECSR. They don't sound like any've the above. Rather, as debut launches go, ECSR seem to comet along the same vaporous galaxy as Th' Faith Healers 'L' & Alternative TV's 'The Image Has Cracked' which if you'd ask me, ain't a bad (imaginary) pedigree. I'd even throw a nod towards countrymen (& fellow Melbournians) the Sick Things too, seein as how they was ATV fans once upon a time. And while this debut ain't expellin the same toxic bile as found on the 'Sound Of Silence' comp, you can be sure ECSR holds'em in high regard nonetheless. How could they not? This cd (also available on lp format) follows three 7"ers that I was unaware of but am eager to investigate forthwith. I don't know what I'll find there, but the blat on this eponymous full length release is so disparate from the run-of-the-mill punkabee's congesting the US scene that I can't imagine bein disappointed. There's a reason why I counted this as one of the best of '06. Cause it was! Check'em out at http://www.ecsr.com.au/ or www.myspace.com/eddycurrentsuppressionring
& if you can tell me the time (& fur) don't fly, I'll gladly chop off your head for inspection.

(For label contact write; www.dropkick.com.au)

Common Sense Ain't So Common.....Siltblog's 'Best Of' 2006

I ain't one much for Best Of list's but at least it's a plug for some & a shout-out to others. I guess I could've been more in depth about these choices but I'm already runnin late (we're goin to Bolivia for the New Year's) & it ain't brain surgery (at least not yet) so fuck it. I got a plane to catch. My apologies to anyone I missed whoever you are.



Some CD's;

Meatus Murder-More Songs About Balling & Food
Chris Corsano-The Young Cricketeer
Kousokuya-Live At Minor
Country Teasers-Empire Strikes Back
Paeces-Otherroomly Soundtrack
xxNo Barbequexx-Sunshine Of Your Love
Eddy Current Suppression Ring-S/T
Solar Anus-Skull Alcoholic (dbl)

Some Vinyl;

Pink Reason-S/T 7"
Donna Parker-Debutante Lp
Evil- A True Untimely Atrocity 10"
Homo Stupids-Brutal Birthday 7"
Las Malas Amistades-Jardin Interior 3x7"
Clockcleaner-Missing Dick 7"
Hank IV-3rd Person Shooter Lp
Sapat-Tongue-Tied & Staid 7"
Psychedelic Horseshit-Who Let The Dogs Out? 7"
Sun City Girls-Djinn Funnel Lp
Nothing People-Twinkie Defense 7"
Major Stars-Syntoptikon Lp
Circle-Arkades Lp

Cassette's;

Blues Control-Riverboat Styx
Violent Students-Bitchy Woman
Hole Class-A Glimpse Of Hole Class
The Captain & Shaquille-Blood Bath & Beyond
The Pigeons-River Surfer (dbl)


Label's;

Vinyl-On-Demand
Sublime Frequencies
Intransitive Recordings
S-S


Live;

Times New Viking
Country Teasers
Clockcleaner
Hank IV
Endless Boogie

See ya next year!

The Black Plastic Sound.....Psychatrone Rhonedakk's 'Disturbs The Air' CD

A belated Merry Christmas to all the readers out there. I hope it was fun & festive. Ours was spent up to Bethlehem, PA as the "guest's" of Mr. & Mrs. Clifford Knowtes, old (now ex) friends of mine from the Camp Century days. It weren't a traditional invite, more like a plea for help disguised as one. "You just have to come. You must, I will not take no for an answer" was the message on the voice mail. "And bring Miriam too, absolutely. Would you mind terribly if we impressed both your services for preparing Christmas dinner? I thought not. That's the spirit! Don't worry, we'll have everything here you'll need. I'll send a car down early Friday to pick you up. Report directly to the kitchen on your arrival, I mean, it will be so nice to see you both! Cheers Roland, Cheers Miriam, see you soon".
And so our dye was cast. By the way, Miriam is MG's 1st name. That's right, Miriam, Miriam Webster. Up till now I didn't want to get her implicated on this blog, but considerin the situation, it can't be helped. She & Cliff ain't never got along. He think's she's a pedantic know-it-all, she think's he's a lazy neophyte. But I see the goodness in both of'em. Or did. So yeah, we went up there & knocked out one helluva Xmas dinner; baked oysters, roast duck, plum pudding, a mulled wine...it was like something outta Dickens & the fuckers were just about as stingy too. It weren't but a few minutes after we was done w/the dishes & polishin the silver when some fella come in & said, 'your car is ready'. No after dinner drinks, no thank you's, goodbye's or leftovers,nothin! We was shown the door & driven out into the night as though we was banished servants. I was fit to be tied. I shoulda known. Cliff Knowtes was always looking for the cheap & easy way to go. And I played us right into it. As we was drivin down 309 on our way back I was recountin the story to our driver, York. He didn't seem too suprised by it all & I don't wonder why. Probably happens all the time. Like myself, York was a bit of a philosopher so when I seen his eyes lookin at me in the rear view mirror, all sympathetic as he pronounced "that's life" to our plight, I knew he understood. The he got to tellin us how he kept himself sane while surrounded by all the pettiness & backstabbin; ambient music. Specifically an artist know as Psychatrone Rhonedakk. He asked if I'd ever heard him. I felt myself tense up a bit at the question. See, I had heard some of his stuff a few yrs back & didn't take to it at all. But I thought better of tellin the truth & said 'No'. With that, York put in a cd called 'Disturbs The Air' & said 'check this out & tell me what you think'. So for the next howeverlongittook to get back to the Fishtown we listened in silence to the dark droning world of Psychatrone Rhonedakk. And I gotta tell ya, it was far out! I can't say what it was that had put me off his stuff them yrs before, but as we slipped through the rain 'n fog enveloped in his murky trance, I couldn't have been any happier than if I was home. There was alot workin & it seemed to come at us from all sides. I heard moments where I'd have swore it was DG 307 & others when it sounded like it could be some bizarre genius on the Limelight or Mainstream label.There was a little bit of Todd Clark & AK Process in the mix too. He even does a Warren Zevon cover & reworks it into an ominious fugue that recalls something off've Roxy Music's 'For Your Pleasure' more than anything by an excitable boy in dancing school. Overall it was decidedly atmospheric & in all likelihood I'd have probably never given it a chance if it was somethin I was to play at the house but that's why fate is so important. So I got hustled into workin Christmas by a shitbag & his wife. That's the hand I was dealt. But in the end it was really a setup for the wildcard (& moral of the story) which was Psychatrone Rhonedakk. Here I am writin up someone I'd written off all because of a ripoff & sendup that I shoulda been smart enough to see through. It was all an elaborate plot so's I could make good on my initial dumbheadedness w/the dismissal of Psychatrone Rhonedakk & his work. So while I didn't get to feast on no duck, I sure got myself plenty of crow to digest. One of these days I'll find them other cd's of his I got & see what I missed, & when that happens, I'll build a car to drive'em around, but for now, I'm content to just glide along w/'Disturbs The Air' as my sonic navigator through his DIY solar system. Contact http://www.summerstepsrecords.com/ for more info.

S.H.I.T.P.O.P. 2006.....Times New Viking/Psychedelic Horseshit Split 7" EP

Last post was concernin the Times New Viking/Psychedelic Horseshit current 'No Xmas' tour & what to do about it, as in.....GO SEE THEM. Up till now the 10 little dimes they's collected's only amounted to a wet, wrinkled dollar but sometimes that's all it takes to make a dream come true in New York City. Tonight's show at Cake Shop is definitely TNV's final EC outing of this year, but might also be the last time anyone see's them in these parts shiverin in their flimsy Siltbreeze t-shirts. Word has it that a Matador ensemble of matching beret's & scarf's have been ordered. The band claims that they have indeed been fitted for said attire & are excited to don the garish foppery asap but are holding out for pink Vespa's + a sidecar (for gear carryin purposes) to sweeten the pot. Wait, did I just say pot? That reminds me, they.......
Anyway, last post also mentioned a split "tour only" ep that perked the ears of some West Coasties. Their question was, 'is it true?' The answer is yes, as true as any of the truths that have ever been tittered on this testimonial. The Times New Viking side is a hot preview from their forthcoming 'Presents The Paisley Reich' (cd) release; 3 songs-including one track ripped from/inspired by half of a Half Japanese cover-that will no doubt continue to have the glossy compnoscenti spilling verbiage about comparisons to Pavement or Guided By Voices simply because they can't "accurately" reference (let alone ever heard) the Clean or Axemen. But it's all good, right? Psychedelic Horseshit's contrib continues to pile up the no-fi ante, tipplin towards the Axemen side of the coin; smearin, slashin both spleen 'n strings in the grand tradition of Bob Cardy & Stevie McCabe so expertly that if I didn't know better I'd have figured these tracks was culled from a Sleek Bott cassette. If this comparison sounds foreign to you, that's cause it is. We can't all be from God's Country. It's high time some of ya learned that. Wait, did I just say high? What in the hell is.......


This split 7" is available (if not now, soon) via http://www.midheaven.com/ or contact either band through their MySpace pages (sorry, you'll have to look those up yourself. I'm goin to bed!).
Don't be afraid to ask for the handcolored one's either.

Yes Virginia, There Is A Appomattox Courthouse, I mean, SANTA CLAUS.....Times New Viking/Psychedelic Horseshit Live! Last 2 Dates! Go See'em!!

Times New Viking & Psychedelic Horseshit got the bright idea to do a small tour of the near South & East Coast the week right before Christmas. And it has been about as hostile & inhospitable of a folly than it deserves. And so w/a couple of cancelled gigs, the little army of six decided to bivouac at my place for the past few days. Nice people's one & all. You can always learn from your houseguests, especially if they's in band's. For instance, up until today, I never knew what the inside of a cigarette filter smells like or that an entire floor of a building could replicate said aroma but that's what I got goin on now. You'd have thought they was all smokin clones devised by Phillip Morris in a 'Boys From Brazil' sorta way. They huff 'n puff them butt's like they was a life force.It's an eye burnin, sneeze inducin fog that won't lift. I was thinkin about leavin some bleach out to kill the stench but I'm afraid one of'em would drink it (they'll do just about anything to catch a buzz, especially the one called Jor-el, or Jarrod). They's went down to Baltimore yesterday for a skirmish at Talking Head & come back about 4am all the more worse for the wear. There's gear missin, eye-glasses what's been lost, toes broken & on top of all that, they didn't even get paid! I tell ya, listenin to the tales of woe & seein them all in various states of fatigue, anger & bewilderment, they's like a ragtag band of Confederate ruffians tryin to scavenge the landscape in the early days of April, 1865. And every time I open the door to the downstairs parlor-what w/the odor've forced heat blowin stale smoke,ripe socks, etc.-& see their bloated bodies wheezin & coughin as they sleep, it's about a close to a Matthew Brady repro of Antietam as I want in the here & now. But while's they might be bloodied, they remain unbowed & the last 2 shows will no doubt prove to be the dingers of this, uh, "campaign". Grey thumbs or not. So fans, enlist now! Here's where;

TONIGHT
Weds.
12/20/06
Philadelphia, PA
TRITONE BAR
1508 South Street

Times New Viking
Home Blitz
Psychedelic Horseshit

*

FRIDAY
12/22/06
New York City, NY
CAKE SHOP
152 Ludlow St

Times New Viking
Psychedelic Horseshit
Clockcleaner

And don't forget to ask for (& buy) the new tour only split 7" ep, limited to idon'tknowhowmany copies. They can't eat'em. Maybe you can.

A Huffy By Any Other Name.....Top Ten List for 12/14/06

Why is it that the people's who nowaday's want to know so much about Desperate Bicycles is also the one's that ride'em? Ever notice that? Ponderous, ain't it?

Here's a play list for the past half hour;

Smelly Feet-Toe Tapping Songs 7" ep

American Gorilla-Forsaking All Others/Masters Of War 7"

Usch-LTO 7"ep

The Moodists-Gone Dead/Chad's Car 7"

TVP's-I Know Where Syd Barrett Lives/Magnificent Dreams 7" (Japanese Pressing)

Tom & Marty Band-New Wave Twist 7" ep

25 Cents-Y The Wich/Don't Decieve Me 7"

The One Takes-Extended Play 7" ep

Front-System/Queen's Mafia 7"

The Sleepers-Seventh World 7" ep

If You Can't Stand The Heat, How About Freezing To Death As An Option?.....Flaming Fire's 'When The High Bell Rings' CD

This here blog is my job as any readers out there in Readerland already knows. And because of my opinionatin, this blog has gained a modicum of interest, so's it seems to me that if promo's come, they oughta be mine, correct? And it also seems logical (to I) that some stuff should arrive bearin my name for my perusal. That's happened a few times lately & a certain someone started cavortin around w/the BF ('Bitch Face'). That was until he heard'em. Then it was all smiles 'n laughs as though he'd dodged a bullet. What a douche! Granted for the most part it ain't been a problem as there ain't many promo's arrivin. For that, everyone here at Siltbreeze & Siltblog (both of us) says THANK YOU. Sure, we's glad to get the good one's. Even the bad one's that the hipster's can't see through makes for lunch money. But then there's one what shows up & you come to the glarin realization of what a shit encrusted business the music industry is. For instance, bingo!, this here's that came by Flaming Fire. I ain't sure I can parley the utter uselessness of it's existence. How about an equation like; Reesa & The Rooters plus Picasso Trigger divided by The Tubes & there you go. Better yet, the "lost" Waitresses lp on Load! Or how about if Six Flags, Taco Bell & Red Bull were looking to mount a travelling production for the Punk version of Meatloaf's 'Bat Out Of Hell'..... I've got the cast they's lookin for right here! I know what your thinking & your right. It's worse. They gotta website to see for yourself at: http://www.flamingfire.com/
or just wait for the article in Blender that's sure to appear soon enough. For you local's that want a taste, in about 5 minutes I'm gonna drop this into the trashcan at Girard & Frankford, so if you's is ridin by on your ironic bike, feel free to "comp" this into the pocket of your vintage coat on the way to the coffeeshop so you can sit outside in the rain & smoke. And to the promo department of Silly Bird I say, thanks a latte. For nothing. There's only one Arthur in this town & it ain't Treacher's (RIP), so save them promo stamps to address to US when you got somethin GOOD to hawk. Like ol' Ken Franklin used to say "It's a cold world out there sometimes. Particularly when you've got no spark".

Ain't it the truth?

Message In A Blotter.....Hototogisu+Burning Star Core's 'Volume One' CD

MG's lil sister Buzzy was here not far back at Thanksgiving & boy she sure has gone 'n growed up. But other than strikin a nice figure, I couldn't see any difference. At first. She's still prone to just sit there & give you the long distance stare all through the day & never has been much for talkin. But after we'd done went to bed it was a different story. Up all night she'd be, checkin out our various cd's & records, havin a whale of time by the sound of things. In the mornings I'd ask her what it was she'd been listenin to & she'd just giggle, eat some oatmeal, bat her eyes & giggle some more.If you know Buzzy then you'll know that this retard bit is a coin toss. Is it an act or is it real? I've learned not to let it dwell. Just take it on the chin. So we finally got her back on the bus home the other day & as I was cleanin up the guest room I found some journal she'd left behind. Most of it was filled with letters what was never sent, drawin's of mythical beasts, basically, the usual.And then I come across this entry & had a laugh. I was gonna review the cd myself but I think ol' Buzzy got the drop on me w/this one. I still ain't sure if she's runnin on a full tank mentally, but she seems to know a thing or two about a thing or two. An idiot savant perhaps? There ain't no way I could ever say somethin like that to MG or her folks, they'd kill me! All's they'd hear was the idiot part & my goose would be cooked. So's I'm gonna run it here for you's to decide. Like I said, it's got legs, but I may be bias seein as how she's family 'n all. Well, almost.

11/26/06 3:30am

Wow, Roland sure has a lot of music. My sister told me he was a total geek when it came to records & cd's but this is amazing. There's so much cool stuff. I guess if you have a blog then you get free shit. I want a blog! I would do mine like a diary or something. Make it more intimate and warm. Not cold & mean like Roland's. I basically like people even if I can't stand the sight of them. What would be my 1st review? How about this cd by Hototogisu + Burning Star Core. It looks rad!

11/26/06 3:38am
Wow, this is going to be good I can just tell. It's like industrial psychedelia! The only drag is that I don't think the drummer's much of an improviser. He's beating that snare like one of those windup monkey toys with the cymbals. He needs to be more organic, like Andrea Centazzo, and less intrusive, like John Bonham. I think he's the same guy in Hair Police. Roland says they are like Harry Pussy lite. I think that is funny. I'm always giving my Dad a hard time about listening to Aerosmith for the same reason. I'm like 'Dad, don't you have some shitty Rolling Stones records that are better than this"? He always says that what the Budweiser's for but he says that about alot of things. I hate Budweiser.

11/26/06 4:08am
Wow, now it sounds like a convergence of angels. But not Heavenly angels, rather, Angels of Satan. I was reading a magazine called Bananafish that I found lying around & it had an interview w/this guy Spencer that's on this cd. He was talking about how he was classically trained and preparing for conservatory and perhaps a career w/a orchestra or something but he decided to leave the light and embrace the darkness. Like Lucifer did. I know a few people that if I played this for them they would think they were trapped in some sort of sonic, aural Hell. Speaking of which, if this Spencer guy is still living in Cincinnati, then he's closer to Lucifer than he knows. Talk about a Hell on earth! I think I'd be mad too.

11/26/06 4:25am
Wow, what exactly is a Hototogisu? It is like a Hototoginsu, like a special knife? Would it be a knife for carving sound? What would a sound knife look like? Would it look like a Hototogisu or a Hototoginsu? Where do these people come up with these names? They must be really smart.

11/26/06 4:28am
Wow, this little pin just fell out of the cd case! It's a pin with the face of Marcia Bassett on it. It's just like her picture on the cover of the cd, only bigger. The resemblance is uncanny, it's almost exactly the same. Now that is intense. Not to mention psychedelic. I think I'm starting to see trails too. Killer.

11/26/06 4:50am
Wow, I think I nodded off there for a sec. This cd is soothing yet punishing. It sort of reminds me of that line from that one Hellraiser movie where the pinface guy says "Your suffering will be legendary. Even in Hell"! In a way I could see this music as a soundtrack for a horror movie. I guess. Maybe a colonial horror movie with Genesis P-Orridge as an evil George Washington. Or Martha Washington. Or both! Woah, that's a creepy thought. It could work, that's the really scary part. Is this cd great or what?

11/26/06 5:06am
Wow, that cd was neat. It's not even over yet. Or maybe it started all over again. Whatever, I have to go to bed. It's going to be great for that. It's like my ears are ringing after a night of mutilating cattle or listening to my parents scream at each other about all the empty Budweiser cans my Dad has strewn all over the house. I bet if we had this Hototogisu + Burning Star Core cd at my house, the place would be a lot cleaner, especially if I threatened my folks with it every waking minute of the day.Or maybe I should just move out. That's a good idea too. I'll have to sleep on it.
Okay, good night!

http://www.dronedisco.com/

What's The Difference Between Another Noise Rock Band & A Bucket Of Shit?.....Howlin Magic's S/T Cd

It wasn't all that long ago when somebody asked for a moratorium on bands usin the name 'Wolf' as a callin card. There is a bunch of'em
too, most as sad & borin as the day is long. This year Howlin was the name that caught on. Howlin this & Howlin that. 2006, the year Howlin broke....funny ain't it? Okay it's not. It's sad. Sad 'cause none of the Howlin bands I heard really howled. Whined maybe, rocked a little, stomped around. No howlin though & not all that convincin to my ears. But the name's trendy & carries a certain cache I reckon. I'm just waitin for some dumb duck's to come along & call themselves Howlin Wolf, thinkin that they's bein original. Mark my words, it'll happen. Probably come out on Sub Pop too, who'll put a spin on it & have it wreakin of irony. Some dud at Pitchfork will pick it up & run with it &...... gettin depressed? Hold on, I ain't even wrote nothin about Howlin Magic yet!
Listenin to the Howlin Magic cd, my 1st thought was that K-Tel came back in business. You know, cashin in on the New Weird America scene. Howlin Magic got all the moves & noises down pat, the results of which are as sterile as an operatin room. The guitars squall-just like their supposed to-the drums thud w/feral intentions, there's lot's of obligatory extraneous "found" crap, on the whole the thing is sufficiently "gnarly". On top of that, the artwork & layout is so incredibly lame that if I didn't know better I'd have thought it was the work of somebody w/a bone to pick takin the piss, you know, like the Pork Dukes. Stoic believers in the New Weird America bible live by a mantra that all noise is cool, so if they's butterin your bread, this is essential. I mean it has to be, cause it sounds just like everybody else. If this was a cdr I wouldn't have even bothered, but somebody's went & started a label w/this shit, got themselves a barcode & everything. Couldn't they have just saved that money & gone to law school instead? I guess that don't have the same resonance of cool down to the Tonic or Pink Pony or wherever. But hey, if bands could sue for blatant thievery, the brain-trust at Azul Discografia would know the error of their decision. If this is what's passin for Pollander All Fruit in the scene right now then alls I gotta say is make mine w/jelly!
And before I forget,the answer is-the bucket.
Your welcome.

azulddiscografica@gmail.com

Cosmic Tones From Hoosier Hotshots.....Lord Fyre's 'Destruction At 2013' LP

I got this friend named Vance Hitler who claims he's related to you-know-who. An uncle or somethin. I know, it's preposterous! Claims he growed up on Long Island where folks either hated or feared him 'cause of his surname. Says his line of the family had always kept a considerable distance from their despotic kin even as far back as the 1930's. So all's they got in common is the name. That's alot if ya ask me! But Vance is a funny guy & just about as opposite from his evil forebearer as a fella could be. He loves meat ('cept sausages), hate's marzipan, don't paint, not a dog fan, despises clowns, never done coke & likes his drink (not whiskey though. "makes me mean" he always says w/a smile). And comin up wherever in Long Island, he was surrounded by cults, paranormal mediums & ufo nuts of all sorts. Which might go a long way to explain why he runs this bookstore what's devoted to Flat Earth theories, conspiracies of all sort's, science fiction, the whole bit (the one exception bein anything on the Spear Of Destiny for, uh, obvious reasons). It's a neat place & there's always some curious smellin incense permeatin the room as well as atmospheric music waftin outta the speakers.Once when I was in to pickup this book on Mayan submarines the nose-ringed girl what sometimes filled in was playin this spacey instrumental buzz & I asked who it was. "Lord Frye" was the response, "like the boot". I don't know why, but right then I weren't no longer interested. I never did like them boots, they took forever to break in & yr feet hurt like hell all the way through. So I got what I came for & split. Then yesterday I was in to see if Vance had a recipe for Kykeon & he was playin something that sounded an awful lot like the boot stuff. 'Cept this time there was singin. It had a vibe that I couldn't quite pinpoint. It was sorta like Gothic Hut if they'd gone psychedelic or maybe even Culturcide if they's stayed the course instead of cashin in for laughs. Vance just rolled his eyes at all them notions. 'Mein Gott, it's this band Lord Fyre" & handed me the lp jacket. That changes everything! I had a gander at the inner sleeve to see what was what. Lots of names & instrument info that I didn't have time for so I went & got a copy for myself. Listenin to it again this mornin it's all right nice & suitably avant oddball w/hint's of stoner. They got this thing for Sun Ra & you can tell someone in the ensemble is very big on 'Strange Strings' &/or 'Atlantis'. Their overall psychic design seemed reminiscent of early Tower Recordings, as though a copy of 'Fraternity Of Moonwalkers' was somewhere within arm's reach (the cute aka's they give themselves was a dead giveaway too). And while I'm at it, there was moments on here where if I didn't know better I've swore I was listenin to parts off've Dashiell Hedeyat's 'Obsolete' album. And that sure don't happen much. I ain't criticizin'em for any of it, hey, them's good places to check in & see the sparks fly. I was very taken w/'Destruction At 2013'. And once I Sherlocked that insert but good I spied a name from the past that almost brought a tear to my eye. It's comfortin to know that some old coots can keep on rollin. I can't say how "real" Lord Fyre is, meanin, I know that some of'em got's other musical concerns (that I ain't all that interested in) that might take more of a front seat in the overall scheme of things. I understand. But this Lord Fyre stuff, I'd definitely be up for hearin some more. And to think I woulda passed'em by if it weren't for Vance Hitler. Thanks Vance! I tell ya, that guy....they don't come much better.

(Check it out at www.midheaven.com & www.emperorjones.com)

Heroes De Plastico.....High Tension Wires 'Send A Message' LP

There's always lots of tongues wagged 'n ink spilt on the authenticity of the retro Punk action available by bands what come from labels such as In The Red, Birdman, Shattered, etc. I ain't here to concur or dispute said claims, just throwin my cards on the table. Even Siltblog has endorsed Angry Angles whose stylee sounds like it could've been cut sometime between Carter & Reagan. Clone Defects, Time Flys, Gris Gris, Reatards.....it's all fine & captures-almost to a T-the sneerin, 1% ethos of bands they obviously admire &/or emulate from the halcyon days. Hell, I own records & cd's by them bands I mentioned & I gotta say, after a spin or 2 on all of'em, they was done. Not that they was bad or nothin, I guess it comes down to do I wanna hear someone who wants to sound like (for instance) The Pagans or do I want to hear The Pagans? It's a no brainer. I sometimes think it's just me. I'm too jaded but you know, I have done & seen lots of cool stuff in my time so havin it all rolled out again & again it loses it's luster. Then one day I go & buy some used lp by a contempo band called the High Tension Wires & am completely blown away. Released in 2004 (?) on a label called Dirtnap, 'Send A Message is a staggering throwback to Punk angst frenzy found on Bloodstains & Killed By Death comps more than any one particular band from...."back in the day". If I was to try & pinpoint their sound I guess I'd say it's along the lines of a hybrid of The Dils, The S'Nots & The Skunks. They even cover a song by The Kids to let us all know that they know.The pace 'n timing is superb, the hooks are plenty & it's dudless in it's entirety. 'The Sad Tale Of Mattie Lou Denton' is the best song from 2004 that sounds like it's from 1982 that I heard in 2006 but like I said, they's all keepers. I don't know nothin about High Tension Wires or Dirtnap Records. I kinda doubt that they's got anything else that's as ace as this but people tell me I've been wrong before. 'Send A Message' is the greatest record that never came out on VVV & I can't think of any higher praise than that. Can you?
http://www.dirtnaprecs.com/
htwires@hotmail.com

ESP Medium Dischord.....Gag's 'Caveman Shuffle Suffers Known As Patty/C2' 7"

Oh how I've been longing for the day when a new round-table fulla Anglo knights would lay waste to the landscape & relegate that tired "improv" scene (or is it house chores I'm hearing? Really, when all's your doin is turnin on a vacuum cleaner it's hard to tell if yr workin or playin) into servitude. The cdr, cassette & micro vinyl market is all gobbled up w/havenots tryin to pass themselves off as haves & while there are exceptions (do I really have to name them?) most of it is pure shite. On the flipside it slays me when so many scribes slobber all over themselves to champion whatever new Fall release is in the bins as "HIS best work to date" as though MES is doin us all a favor by clackin his dentures together one more time. I'm sure some of us could go around by this admittance of "heresy" but the way I figure it, that's your problem. I guess the gist of this post is that most pinetops out there don't have a clue as to what's goin on between the cracks in the cobblestone of Ol' Blighty's Rock underground. For instance, how many out there knows about this 7" by Gag? Released on Flitwick, this record disembowels post-puh angst the likes of which have not been splayed since the era of the Membranes, Sperm Wails, Kilgore Trout & Big Flame. Not familiar? Well, they ain't names you'll find over to Pitchfork that's for sure. Gag blast outta the gate w/all the charm of an English breakfast; burnt, fried, greasy & carcinogenic. Goes down fast too. You can't help but come back for more. Within their ranks is one Leighton Crook whose also the current rhythm engineer on the Country Teasers cruise ship (not to mention skipper of the Flitwick line). I guess here is where I'm supposed to say something like the Country Teasers are the new Fall, but the new Fall is the new Fall & I wouldn't wish that on nobody.Case closed. As for Gag, there may be those who choose to see their aural fuckery as a step forward in a classic Rough Trade direction, but in my tiki lounge this mixes it up & goes down with the same potency as the strongest hooch that was ever bottled up at the Ron Johnson brewery. Gag is just one of many excellent beacons bein flickered out over the crags 'n bluffs of the U.K. shoreline via Flitwick's lighthouse. There's lot's of other great singles, (includin one by the Fall! Best thing he's done in yrs!) cd's & lp's w/the Flitwick imprint just waitin for your dormant enthusiasm to recharge. So go ahead, check it out. For a guy that don't like meat (hates animals so much he won't even eat'em) Leighton Crook sure as hell ain't no simp. He knows the difference between wheat 'n chaff. Who said vegan's can't be doozers?
http://www.flitwickrecords.co.uk/

A Local Anesthetic In King Arthur's Court.....Hank IV's 'Third Person Shooter' LP/CD

I ain't one much for them Yahoo music group chat things but sometimes I am amazed by what floats to the surface. For instance, a site dedicated to Bum-Kon? I thought that was pretty cool! And the fella what moderate's it seems to have his head far enough away from his ass that it ain't a bunch've gratuitous dick-swinging. But hey, we're talking about Bum-Kon for fuck sake! Any interest in 2006 would be cause for celebration in my book (if I was them). And that's what I liked about the one post that I've swiped here for y'all to peruse. This Blaine fella don't seem like the sharpest arrow in the quiver, but he has connected some dots to Hank IV & one of'em leads back to the Colorado scene of yore & lo & behold, directly to the heart of the Centennial State's most prolific hardcore band. You can run, but you can't hide! Take it away, Blaine-


Bum-Kon Singer On The Loose Again. Hank IV=Killer Because Of It.

Yeah, hey everybody, Blaine Boyington checkin in (aka Blayne Binary back in the day. Shout out to Crutches: dude, them smokes at that Happy World/JFA show in '84 saved my life. Thanks bro). It's been a while since anybody's posted on the Bum-Kon site, like over a year now. I guess there hasn't been much activity or nothin. Can't say I know what anybody's up to these days. Personally things have been rough; I just got back into town after servin a stint in Alameda County Prison for passin bad checks. I didn't think anybody gave a shit about that stuff these days but the judge said it was the same as identity theft so away I went. And since I didn't have no fixed address, they figured I was trouble. Does anybody out there remember when Marty of Rok-Tots said the same shit to me back in '83? Man I should listened to him but I was young & stupid! Prison is a bummer dudes & that's straight up. My advice-don't get caught. The dudes inside are for real & give a whole nother meaning to the name bum-con. My punk ass didn't have a chance. But I tried to see my time philosophically. The things I was forced to do, I looked at them as "personal favors". I sure as hell didn't wanna do any of it, but my "friends" "insisted" & so I "helped". A lot of times I would shut my eyes & recite the lyrics to 'The Draft' or 'Slow Death' (as I interpreted them) in my head. It was brutal. But every cloud has a silver lining. I was "sold" to this nice enough, slightly older dude who helped me get my shit together to get out. He was getting sprung soon & told me he had a place on Polk St. in SF where I could hang till I got back to Denver. Man, gettin outta there, I felt like the dude in 'Midnight Express'. It was unreal. I wasn't sure I'd ever have freedom again. My "friend" ( I was told to refer to him as "Johnny") set me up in this one room efficiency like he said he would & it was right down the street from this place called The Hemlock that did live music. I was stoked. One night we went & saw this local band Hank IV. Very tight, very good, & the singer looked so familiar. I mean, not instantly recognizable, more like in a John Walsh, computer enhanced, here's-what-they-look-like-now kinda thing he does on 'America's Most Wanted'. It was Bob McDonald from Bum-Kon! Only the greatest singer outta 'Rado since Jello Biafra. And whoa, check out his moves; part Sally Can't Dance era live Lou Reed herk, part 'She Lost Control' era Ian Curtis jerk, part Jack LaLanne dedication, part Robbie Robot spazz arms from 'Lost In Space', part Robert Shields in sweat-face. Awesome! The rest of the band was killin too, the twin guitars were like the sonic attack of Bailey/Kuepper from prime era Saints, the bassist was throwin down solid & the geezerly dude on drums looked like he was wound pretty tight too. His arms & feet couldn't stop! It was great. Afterwards I was building my courage up to talk to Bob & in my mind I wanted to thank him for all the great Bum-Kon records, shows & parties, but I could see he had no idea who I was & besides, it seemed like those days were long behind him. And who could fault him for that? I know we're all solid fans & I wanna say their records will always have a special place in my heart & while those days are over, at least Bob McDonald is still rockin! Dudes, Hank IV need the Bum-Kon support hookup! It's not hardcore, not like we remember it, but it's snazz all the way. As they willingly acknowledge, their drama is definitely ripped from plot lines akin to Country Teasers or Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments & yeah, if this was the ass end of 1986 all over, I could see these guys w/a release on Homestead. "Johnny" bought a copy the lp which featured a cd version inside that I played the entire busride back Rocky Mountain way. Like I said it's no Bum-Kon but nothing is or ever will be again. Those were special days bros. Bob McDonald helped make them happen then, he's making them happen again. Go to the Hank IV Myspace page & check out the slurred, smelted, panic assault of 'Hole In My Eye' & tell me you miss Frantix. But hey, the whole of 'Third Person Shooter' rumbles and rakes with such a grizzled nuance that I might just be movin back SF way to see if they want a roadie or cocktail manager. Or maybe Bob would need a personal servant or house boy. Did somebody just mention Heaven?

Contact Hank IV via; http://www.hankiv.com/
or www.myspace.com/thehankfour

As No Wave As The Next Guy.....Henry Flynt & Nova'Billy's 'I Was A Creep/Left Ear' 7"

You may recall when a few yrs back the magazine Halana ran a piece by Alan Licht entitled 'Minimalist Top Ten'. In it, Al rapped about the routinely ignored & misunderstood genre then went on to list & sketch the 10 works he considered pivotal for the erstwhile collector. One of the composers mentioned was a fella by the name of Henry Flynt whose sole release at the time was a cassette only thing from '87 entitled 'You Are My Everlovin'. Needless to say, once the list was loose & ingested by the wretched excess, it was only a matter of time till that thing got the boost from obscure tape to barely available cd ( I believe it's now out of print). At any rate, it is a pretty great swell of "Hillbilly Raga" & was (presumably) the linchpin for the interest from Locust to bankroll all his further releases that I have not participated in the buying of (I got my reasons). I know I know, the guy's a genius, all his work is of such an utter brilliance & singularity & yes I'm jealous & no I'm not gay & boy is it getting late but who has all that time? It's not like I'm boycotting the guy, in fact, I just bought this limited edition of 300, one-time-pressing-only 7" by him! How I came to stumble upon it's existence I cannot recall, but the format seemed curious for such a prolific cat that I figured it was worth 6$ to check out. Culled from a 1975 concert, the label makes some whoop about this being in the 'NY no wave groove' which ain't what I heard, so I guess I just don't get it. Or is it that nowadays you can just throw out any old shit, call it whatever & that's what it is? I thought No Wave meant somethin else, but since this predates New Wave, I guess-technically- they got a point. Okay, now that we got that settled, onto the record. In regards to the a-side, if I hadn't known already it was Henry Flynt, I'd have swore it was a recording of Bob Mothersbaugh fronting 10 60 75 (The Numbers Band) from some long forgotten Saturday night stint at JB's in Kent. Those chooglin barroom blues, we've all had'em! The flip is way more curious & show's the real Rolling Thunder that year didn't belong to Dylan's revue but instead to an anonymous bunch called Nova'Billy whose solid backbeats & higher key interactions of fiddle's 'n gits reduces the white frocked, turban wearing, mime-faced Renaldo & Clara folly to the outhouse of hokum.In fact, this is so great I got an uncontrollable urge to scream 'Fuck Bob Neuwirth'! at the top of my lungs. So please excuse me while I amble down to the basement & expell my catharsis. Thank you.
( http://www.locustmusic.com/)

Bumbling Forward Into The Past.....The Geeks 'Too Fat Pig/Visiting Day At San Quentin' 7"

Scott Soriano has deep knowledge & love for the obscure, so if he tells me The Geeks have been around for ____number of yrs, I'll play along. Why not? Who's it harm? That I never heard of'em till now is meaningless. Shit like that happens all the time. They got a unique 'n creepy sound that's so there, you can almost smell the stench of stale cigarette smoke 'n rotting pleather waft off this 7" as it spins it's sordid tales. The lounge vibe on here is as alive as a hair-nest full've syphilis spirochetes primed for action. Hell, I feel like I need to pack a switchblade just to walk in the room! The a-side, sung by a 15 yr old would-be chanteuse sorta resembles a poem cooed from the lips of Squeaky Fromme backed by a sloe gin fizzed 'Coral Rock' ensemble. The flip is indeed seething w/anger & intensity but it's foggy notions of revolution & revenge warmed the coddles of my heart in remembrance of Smiley Winters "That" Nigger Music' lp & hey, if the timelines had been wiggled just right, perhaps The Geeks coulda had a Touche matrix number. This kinda pugnacity just ain't around anymore so the fact that these tracks are from 79-80 make's sense (I guess). I sure would like to hear the rest. And while your at it, how about trackin down The Ragged Bags & Fiberglass Gorilla Limbs? Them's both got heavy archives that could use a barrel of ears too. But in a pinch, just more of The Geeks'd be swell, thanks.
http://www.s-srecords.com/

Amateurs Built The Ark, Professionals Built The Titanic.....Der Dritte Schritt/Der Pilz Split LP

For a short spell in my salad days I lived up in Toronto & ran w/a cast of characters unlike any's I met before or since. Take for instance this one fella, Cinco Cox. He was Mexican, ran a landscaping crew & had moved to Canada to perfect a hydroponic tomato. He had this greenhouse fulla plants & would go on forever about how Canadian tomatoes was the best in the world. This was before Corona was much known outside Mexico & 5-Dicks (that's what we called him) always had ample supplies on hand. It was kinda novel, sittin there drinkin Mexican beers in a Etobicoke greenhouse, hearin all about the history of Canadian minor league hockey (another favorite topic) & why hyrdoponics was the wave of the future, all spouted off by a little Mexicali fella who-get this-listened ONLY to German synth tapes! You'd ask him what was he playin & he'd dummy up & say "eez nobody". Basically his reason for playin possum was he didn't want us to know what we was hearin. In his mind he was "protectin" this music. "Senor Woodbe" he'd say, "you good guy, but collector. Collectors like Conquistadors, only want to ruin & exploit. Be happy you hear it at all, eez very rare". Then he'd rock back 'n forth in his chair, suckin on a lime wedge, wheezing w/laughter. Some of it I knew-like Der Plan or DAF-but sometimes he'd slip something in the deck what was mysterious 'n cool soundin & then go all shrugged shouldered when you asked him who it was. It was frustratin. I remember one time listenin to some stuff that sounded exceptionally great; this primitive slashing guitar dubbed over a mush of cut/paste loops, sorta dark wave soundin. It was definitely on the minimal side, but real naif & DIY in comparison to anything on Zickzack, Ata Tak or Pure Freude. 5-Dicks of course waved me off, except to say it come from a tape label called Trummer. He made me a dupe & I used to listen to it alot in the car (my only tape player at the time). But a bunch've moves back 'n forth across the continent & things like that just go missin. I'd liked to have forgotten all about it, cept the other day I ordered this here record-strictly outta curiousity-& on one side of it was the same motherfucking jams as that tape! What're the odds on that happening? Unreal, totally fuckin unreal. Entitled Der Dritte Schritt (or DDS for short) it has been rereleased as a split lp w/another old Trummer recording artist, Der Pilz. Listenin to these sides you realize how much influence Der Plan wielded back then on the German avant/experimental synth-wave scene. It's not really Punk, not really Industrial, but yet it's both, at least by the rules in play back when these tapes originally came out (83-84). The DDS side of synth/guitar & looped crud sounds like a crude, vocalless pulverization of 'Geri Reig' while the Der Pilz side borrows Pyrolator's penchant for whimsy from the same lp & heaves it into a blender filled w/aural blat 'n samples akin to something like Decayes meets early Maurizio Bianchi. It's definitely not Andreas Dorau if you know what I mean! Pretty awesome stuff that-unless you was like 5-Dicks back in the day-you probably never knew existed. It's menacing, it's minimal, it's my kinda party. This label what released it (Was Soll Das? Platten) have a whole slew of (previous) cassette-only works from other obscure bands/artists active in that nascent German elecro Untergrundbewegung that they've bumped up to vinyl & I have yet to find a dud in the bunch. Most are micro pressings, so if yr interested, go to http://www.fusetronsound.com/
& see what's available.

We Have A Dream. Someday, We'll Have A Little House & A Couple Of Acres. A Place To Call Home.....Blasted Al Ackerman's 'I Am Drunk' LP

Well I do believe the years are catchin up on me. Why do I say this? 'Cause now someone has gone & released an lp by the guy who wrote the 'Hamburger Lady' letter to Throbbing Gristle back in 1978 that's on the reverse of their 'D.o.A.' lp. That's right, Al Ackerman, THAT Al Ackerman, now BLASTED Al Ackerman, has an lp of musings & blabber entitled 'I Am Drunk'. The longer ya stay in the trenches, the more likely your are to hear 'n see everything! I was perusin this album in a store the other day (ya gotta admit, the cover art is enticin) when the clerk got to tellin me the back story on it & I just about croaked from laughter. To me that's just hilarious; the guy who wrote the 'Hamburger Lady' letter-the whole 'Screwloose Lauritzen' & '250 lb meatloaf'- has a record out. In 2006! I had to buy it.
Now I ain't much for spoken word stuff. I had them Harvey Kubernik comps on Freeway back in the day & I guess they was decent. I had a Bukowski lp on Takoma that was okay, then there was that Terry Southern tape of him readin from the "Magic Christian' that was fun once. I remember fallin asleep in a car a few yrs back when someone put in a tape of William Shatner narrating from his autobiography. Good thing I wasn't drivin! Where's Landrew when ya need him? But this Blasted Al Ackerman lp ain't none of that. I don't know exactly what it is, but it's not the pontifications of a dullard. On the 'Crab' side he tells us about the moniker & how he come to get it. Blasted Al's got one of them radio readin voices, you know, the kind that just sounds right for the format. If your thinkin Garrison Keillor your way off, more like if that Jack Nicholson character in 'King Of Marvin Gardens', David Staebler, was a real life person spinnin them oddball yarns across the airwaves. It's a lot like that. It kinda makes the Hamburger Lady story seem suspect. Did he make it up? Was she real? It's hard to say. Never really mattered all that much to me anyways. Then there's this whole bit called "The Pepper Young Translations" where, presumably, he reads w/a bar of soap in his mouth. Nothin has ever made me wanna hear "The Lennie Small Wabbit Soliloquies" from 'Of Mice & Men' (performed in character by John Malkovich) over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over&over again more than this conceptual, fluxus-ish, nonsense. I gave it a flip & started listenin to the "live" side, but my chin kept pokin itself into my chest sayin it was time to snooze. Happens evertime I try & play it, them nappies come a callin somethin fierce! It's got 'ya-had-to-be-there' written all over it. The insert (& website) use words like "lugubrious" & indescribable" on the matter of Blasted Al & his work & I would concur. On both counts. What more can I tell you? If you wanna buy a record by the Hamburger Lady guy, here's where to go; http://www.ehserecords.com/
I can think of about a hundred worse ways I've spent 10$ & who knows, maybe someday I'll record an album tellin ya all about'em.