Monday, December 11, 2006

What's The Difference Between Another Noise Rock Band & A Bucket Of Shit?.....Howlin Magic's S/T Cd



It wasn't all that long ago when somebody asked for a moratorium on bands usin the name 'Wolf' as a callin card. There is a bunch of'em
too, most as sad & borin as the day is long. This year Howlin was the name that caught on. Howlin this & Howlin that. 2006, the year Howlin broke....funny ain't it? Okay it's not. It's sad. Sad 'cause none of the Howlin bands I heard really howled. Whined maybe, rocked a little, stomped around. No howlin though & not all that convincin to my ears. But the name's trendy & carries a certain cache I reckon. I'm just waitin for some dumb duck's to come along & call themselves Howlin Wolf, thinkin that they's bein original. Mark my words, it'll happen. Probably come out on Sub Pop too, who'll put a spin on it & have it wreakin of irony. Some dud at Pitchfork will pick it up & run with it &...... gettin depressed? Hold on, I ain't even wrote nothin about Howlin Magic yet!
Listenin to the Howlin Magic cd, my 1st thought was that K-Tel came back in business. You know, cashin in on the New Weird America scene. Howlin Magic got all the moves & noises down pat, the results of which are as sterile as an operatin room. The guitars squall-just like their supposed to-the drums thud w/feral intentions, there's lot's of obligatory extraneous "found" crap, on the whole the thing is sufficiently "gnarly". On top of that, the artwork & layout is so incredibly lame that if I didn't know better I'd have thought it was the work of somebody w/a bone to pick takin the piss, you know, like the Pork Dukes. Stoic believers in the New Weird America bible live by a mantra that all noise is cool, so if they's butterin your bread, this is essential. I mean it has to be, cause it sounds just like everybody else. If this was a cdr I wouldn't have even bothered, but somebody's went & started a label w/this shit, got themselves a barcode & everything. Couldn't they have just saved that money & gone to law school instead? I guess that don't have the same resonance of cool down to the Tonic or Pink Pony or wherever. But hey, if bands could sue for blatant thievery, the brain-trust at Azul Discografia would know the error of their decision. If this is what's passin for Pollander All Fruit in the scene right now then alls I gotta say is make mine w/jelly!
And before I forget,the answer is-the bucket.
Your welcome.

azulddiscografica@gmail.com

9 comments:

Jesse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
seifukusha said...

hahahahhahahaha

Jesse, what if he had liked your shitty musick? would it be OK for him to judge then? I mean, that's what critics do, right??? Maybe you're in the wrong business.

Uma Floresta said...

You have to be able to take the good reviews with the bad, my man... :)

Yonkietime said...

Good for you, you called it. I've been surprised at even the minor amount of positive press that HM is getting; its all smoke and mirrors.

Matty said...

Poo Butty.

Jesse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jesse said...

Roland Woodbe you are a dipshit.. this was one of the nastiest reviews I have ever read and it was directed at me. Fuck you, you small insignificant sad bitch. Everyone says you're an asshole. All you've ever done is put money behind releasing music few hear and bitch and whine. I do feel I've progressed.. alot... since I recorded this.. but every other review seemed to be positive and.. it would have been fine to say you don't like something but to give a review like this I thought was a little over the top. Anyway.. I no longer really care. I have a new album coming out on a good label, next month and I look forward to whatever nasty ideas you imagine you old gimp

Jesse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jesse said...

upon further reflection is obvious you are a fucking idiot

i actually feel a lot better now

maybe it's because i'm older now or have a better understanding of the human psyhce or something.. but like rereading this review it's pretty clear you're not an intelligent individual and you are seemingly a disturbed , sad, lonely, confused little bitch of man