Hessian Psych.....Sunlore's S/T lp

Can't says that I's make it up to Bucks County much, 'cept in late summer w/the heirloom tomaters 'n silver corn's in season. Some roadside stands over to Lambertville's always got just about the best I's ever had, year in, year out. Even the squash ain't no runts.
New Hope though.....just never seen the point. Oh sure, been there once, this here's what I remember about it; burnt chicken (aka 'Buffalo') wings, some French onion soup what tasted like it was made w/ketchup, watchin a rolly-polly gnaw on an ice cream biscuit,bikers on foot, a marble outhouse, dandelion wine, weak margarita's,lavender scented everything, lot's of jabberin, no parkin & a record shop run by a confused & bitter person what was tryin to sell a 10,000$, 10" acetate by an "unknown" rock band. So you tell me, what am I missin?
But eventually somethin good's gotta germinate, even there. And I reckon if nothing else, the spark what's piqued my interest is this S/T lp by Sunlore. Not that I'll be bustin a gut to visit'em if I ever get back that way, yet I ain't so cold hearted that I don't rejoice in what they's tryin to push. And what's so goddamn enjoyable about that is figurin out exactly what's spinnin; not just on the turntable, but in they's collective noggins. First go I could conjure them all sittin around a table, reading them Walter Wegmuller tarot cards while listenin to Toiling Midget's 'Deadbeat's. Since then I's heard sounds what resemble: the X/pressway Allstars muted rock opera on Beak Doctor, the unrecorded Hovlakin instrumental lp, Danny & The Dressmakers reinterpretin Manuel Gottsching's 'E2-E4' & Coloured Balls snorin through Marshall stacks. Which is all very much to my likin. They's also got a sideways/"sister" lp/band what's called 'Heartland' that thinner skins claim to enjoy (or is it, understand?) more, but from my vantage, there's fun more in the 'Sunlore' Find'em here;
http://www.tequilasunriserecords.com/id36.html
www.fusetronsound.com/
Contact the band here;
creamofturner.com/

Dropout Boogie.....Crazy Dreams Band 'War Dreams' lp

Call it intuition, but somethin tells me that Crazy Dreams Band ain't gettin nearly none of the attention & accolades they should be. I've been sayin for too long (usually in a mirror) they's about one of the top, best live bands you could wanna come across. And this latest lp on Holy Mountain has been gettin muchos spinnos on my Polynesian hi-fi & that ain't likely to stop anytime soon. Good stuff? No, GREAT.
Likes many a dandy combo, what you see (live) & what you get (vinyl) is slightly different. In the flesh the angular blues thud 'n rumble is akin to Magic Band + Doors hybrid & Lexie Mountain couldn't be any more've a transfixin or versatile front person less she was dead 'n shrouded in legend. But w/her float 'n sting attack, I'd say she's gonna be boxin ears for as long as she can embrace (or stomach) the jaded pea brains & attention deficit dipshits what's sprung up like weeds all around. Whatever happened to discernin tastes? Sadly it's just legions of deaf & dumb. And hell, here I am, ensconced out on a spit of an island, middle've nowhere, nothin but records,wi-fi, a chili butter poached lobster, ice cold tub've suds 'n two lovely "interns" to keep me jazzed & even I know that is a CROCK. Whoever said 'it takes a village" must've been talkin about the one of the damned.
But enough soapboxin. So since ain't no one has paid the Crazy Dreams bunch no mind-at least on they's sophomore effort-allow me to elaborate. 'War Dreams' isn't really an extension of the 1st one. Nope, it's a completely new kaleidoscope of sounds. Which is to say if you was confused by the S/T effort, this one could be more in your comfort zone. How would I know? Can't says that I do, but my reckonin is if you's is someone what get's down 'n can slither w/the likes of Tractor, Gunjogacrayon, Älgarnas Trädgård, Medicine Head, Equal, Checkpoint Charlie, Stackwaddy, Brastburn, Hampton Grease Band, Occasional World Ensemble, Totsuzen Danball, Ahora Mazda, Moohlah, ZOA, Mad Tea Party, Plastic People Of The Universe, Far East,Third Ear Band, Xhol Caravan, Karuna Khyal, Brainticket AND Stone The Crows, well.....this platter've prime dunt oughta fit into your greasy repertoire like fried chicken on a waffle. Syrup is optional. Available here;
www.holymountain.com/artists/crazy-dreams-band/
contact the band via; www.myspace.com/thecrazydreamsband
or
http://www.facebook.com/pages/CRAZY-DREAMS-BAND/401336445148

Meanwhile, In The City By The Bay.....Tom Darksmith's 'TOTAL VACUUM' lp

You could fill Love Canal all over again w/drums of crud I don't know about Tom Darksmith. Sometimes motivational speaker (under the alias, 'Tony Coinpurse'), mild mannered hotel concierge, illustrator of pen & ink illusion, sure, these is all common knowledge. Maybe not so common, I mean, go to his blog 'n look at them pictures!. And his fiscal philosophies, the one comparin money to water is what got me drawn in. I've sat through 2 of his finance symposiums-'How To Stretch A Dime Into A Dollar' & The Three Dollar Bill;The One That Got Away' & I gotta tell you's, I coulda listened to that guy talk ALL DAY. So when at the end of the latter (SF Marriott downtown, date now unknown, dammit!) he was promotin a solo lp, I was right there, long green in hand, ready for the fork. Once transaction was achieved, I got it back to the safehouse & gave it a whirl.
Seein how it was on Hanson, I knowed it was gonna be good, but wow, I guess I wasn't prepared for the organic leap backwards into the future. Referred to as field recordings, Total Vaccum is a masterpiece of abstract aural fog. Blankets of sounds-forebodin, mysterious, beguilin, encouragin-envelop your being through both sides, drawin a line in the sand, darin you to come along. I was reminded of past recordin artists what belied similar, subtle, subversions; Bladderflask, Organum, Illitch, Semool, you know, THEM sorts. It's the kind've lp that when it's on, it keeps the sun stilted just so. And when your hide tans like mine, that's a friend indeed. Check it out & be sure to visit Mr. Darksmith's site while your at it too;
http://momcostume.blogspot.com/.
www.hansonrecords.net
www.tediumhouse.com/

Di Giga Do Tinaanaa E Bilau Ni Iga Bobo.....The Return Of Roland Woodbe!

It's said that the openin year of any decade is likely to be a whopper & 2010 proved to be just that. I ain't talkin musically, hell, when it comes to that, it was just same shit, different outhouse. Course it may've been a different matter had I been closer to the scene, yet I can't be everywhere, as hard as I try.But mor'on that later.
As y'all is painfully aware, we's gripped by terrorist fever worldwide. Perhaps it's my nature, blurred & blunted via my various personal exploits, what's more or less crawlin through the bowels of evil & rippin out they's intestines (or worse). I have torn out more steamin coils've addled entrails than one of them fantastical bird-eaters in a Bosch paintin. Imagine a house party on Austin's east side durin a (non sanctioned) SXSW function. Now picture cuttin a swath through that rabble in the middle of the night w/nothin but a saif. And instead of vacuous dipshits sportin warm 40's, it's rabid, bearded bastards w/bombs! It's us unsung fellers whats keep our country free of inscrutable tyrannies so's a band like-for instance-Kurt Vile & The Violators can tours 5 weeks at a time & not sweat them (free) cold ones. Now if they's had an off night or someone's got a bone to pick, that's on them. But your gettin le picture, correcto?

And the funny thing is, I was alls set to give up the life this yr. Then Ranger X come to me w/a dire plea & there I was, in the thick of it once again. This time the wretched excess took us into Micronesia, which is just about the last place I figured I'd be chasin trouble. Seems some errant faction at the behest've this half-cocked sheik (whose real title cannot be divulged) had gone & set a bunch've goons into the islands w/the intent of eventually gettin into Yap & stealin a Loran-C transmitter. So's Ranger X & I was dispatched in as Peace Corps workers w/orders to infiltrate & destroy said sect w/extreme prejudice.
I gotta tell ya, for the most part, it sure is right nice in them islands. The folks don't care about much-mainly just gettin by from what I could see-but we's learned how to fish in outriggers, I was honin my skills by spearin lobsters in the coral reefs, why I even learnt me a fairly knowledgeable amount of Yapese & Woleaian languages. In regards to the latter,I'd have never though my Latin background would've come in handy in such a place, but that only goes to show. After a while I was even barter'n in they's stone money & was savvy enough to earn me a 12' disk (fancy that!) alls my own. Never mind they's would never get my name right,thems all knows whose money that is.'Mr. Rowan, Swolan, Bolan", howsever they refer to me, ain't no one gonna bone me outta my "wealth". And I appreciate'em for that.
But then come the call. The desert infidels had made it on land, time for us to vamoose. So's we was spirited way off to Kapingamarangi, a good 3 days journey east. I'll tell you's all what; this leg of the mission made that 1st bit seem like we'd been coddled in the lap of luxury. It was some primal livin, but we was there to teach & learn. Well, in a spy sort've way. Got met up w/our Kapingi cohorts & they's was quite a lot. There was Hawaii Henderson (an expert w/machete's), Rommel Pickey (an amazing tactician & also master of Tuba, a fermented coconut drink) Sackius George (this feller knowed his way around the various lagoons, reefs'n whatnot) + Montgomery Conrat, Patton Tintin & Amila Tenten (the 'doctor'). It was beginin to look like our own private 'Bridge Over The River Qwai' except we didn't have none of them geisha-lookin women givin massages 'n whatnot likes in the movie. No, alls we had was betel nut & this nasty concoction Monty Conrat would make called Sakau. I couldn't tell you's exactly what it was, but it involved some root of a pepper plant what got ground, then mixed w/water, then strained through hibiscus bark. This would yield a slimy brown sludge one might associate w/the contents of a septic tank, but for them, it was the equivalent to a Quaalude mudshake. It was also a prime source for dysentery & cholera I was told & the reason these fellers was picked for our mission was on account they's was impervious to the side effects.And after a long day of machete fightin, jungle runnin & map makin, you can't blame a feller for wantin to wind down w/a cuppa-even if it did look like they'd shook a colostomy bag into a cup.

After a couple weeks of trainin, the team was ready. All us trudged aboad Sackius' boat & made the journey up to Pohnpei where we's would hang tight till word come in as to our D-Day. And we weren't there long. As an aside I gotta tell you's all this-one night in the 'VIP' section of some wild ass bar there I met the President.Now, I knowed he was someone of substance. Hell, ain't every feller in Pohnpei's got 3 painted ladies hangin off of him as he yammered very loudly, orderin rounds've beer for the house. He was dressed down in some old (read; vintage) track shorts, a starchy white wife beater, little black socks & a pair of homemade (read; organic) sandals.He got to eyein me up so I went over & broke the ice. "Excuse me sir", I said, polite as could be "haven't I met you before in Williamsburg,Brooklyn"? He sort've sputtered for a second, then lifted his head back, eruptin w/the loudest roar of laughter I's ever heard! Thick as thieves after that we was. The Woodbe charm strikes again.
But the fun come to an end not long after. The goons was on the move back over to Yap & we had about a weeks worth of travellin to do what to catch up. So off we went. It was Katey bar the door; no sleep, just pure adrenalin, we skimmed along the Pacific like a flat rock across pond, makin time like bat's outta hell. Once landed, we got situated & hunkered down for the wait. Bam-we got alerted to a samll boat of armed individuals headed into a lagoon near Rumrung. We's stealthily made our way into the village, our intent was to surround & eradicate. No prisoners, no alibi's, no mess. Them dopes may've seen what they's was tryin to do as Allah's will (or whatever), but it was a fools errand, plain & simple.See, what them terrorists didn't know was all that Loran shit had been dismantled & moved way back in the late 80's! With any luck it was gonna be like shootin fish in a barrel. Long story short; it was, mostly. But a couple of them buggers got away. We was able to trace'em to Palau, only to find out later they was scoped out by a couple locals on Airai who chased'em into some mangroves where (evidently) they was eaten by saltwater crocodiles (no bodies was ever found). So.......CASE CLOSED. The Ranger & I did our share of celebratin afterwards. By now we was back in Guam, under the watchful eye of the powers that be, but even they's will look the other way for the odd patriots, & I do mean ODD. Ranger X eventually made it back down to his compound in the hill country of Texas, but I decided to head back to Kolonia where a Mr. Mister (honest, that's his surname. The president's right hand man. He's never heard the band, which is why they's still alive) had me a fancy suite w/all the proper "accomodations". And it's where I's remained since. I told Capt'n Siltbreeze to send my records & all over here so's I would get back to music writin & make an honest livin again (HA!). I thought maybe this yr I'd do a proper 'best of' for last, but boat mail is only a scant faster'n a snail, so's I'm just gettin what's alls been saved. And if it's alright to you readers, I will commence to the have's now & save the have not's for later.

So now it's well into April & I ain't got that list, least not YET. I'll be postin'em-my best's (or close to's) come this week. I's just been so damn busy w/my new venture; a slew've pork sandwich & taro cake (fried banana's too) stands along the beach. SNOUTS is the name & while's it's stictly word of mouth, we got a steady clientele. Ranger X done come back too & head over to Yap to help this fellow Texan start up a microbeer company. 'Brio Beer' it's called.Again, under the radar, but that's how we role.They was able to get some hops from an old CIA buddy on Samoa, took over some old warehouse, built vats, kilns just about whatever they needed. And presto, we's got our own sustainable scene goin on. Even got Rommel Pickey doin some picklin & I'll be damned if Mr. Mister don't have a yen for bread bakin. And who knew Monty Conrat'd be such a whiz at whippin up mustard & various other condiments? Hell, It's only a matter of time till we's got tall bikes, leash laws & the girls is wearin wellingtons at the mere mention of rain. Maybe even pizza!
But enough about how all 'n all great MY life is. I'll be gettin back to review writin tout de suite. For the record, I like the Iceage lp fine, though I don't see's how it's construed as Hardcore. But I never claimed to be no Stretch Armstrong neither. Now where'd I put that writin quill?

Best wishes from Paradise,

Roland Seward Woodbe

Dan Melchior-Assemblage Blues lp.....Available NOW

If nothin else, the 'Assemblage Blues' found on this here new Dan Melchior lp sees our hero revellin in a tableaux thats as far away from the Kentish curds of Medway twang as a Carolina Hush Puppy is from a Boston Butt. Though what is interestin about this rasher of fried tuneage is how Dan's done gone & conjured up a brilliantly abstract narrative that's almost like a displaced tellin of The Canterbury Tales. Is it them whiskey biscuits, or can I hear fragments in the tellin on 'Atomizer' that reminds me of the one whats told by the Knight in the books beginnin? And on goes, right through to 'Breadbin Wailing' which is more or less the Parson's Tale w/a black crow (lit up to look white). Now I admit, I am one for fancy & have been known to channel my parchedness via goblets 'n steins've all distillations in the spirit world, but stamp my fanny & call me Temperance Tad if this stunnin set've songs ain't about the best squadron of aces what's flown onto the Siltbreeze tarmac since The Shadow Ring's 'Put The Music In It's Coffin' & Jim Shepard's 'Picking Through The Wreckage With A Stick'. There wit, there's whimsy, by jove, there's darkness, recollection & revenge too. It's all manner of the human condition. Don't bottle it! It'll only blow up in your face, too pure, like greased lightnin. Why it'll melt that wallet chain right clean off them scuffy jeans of yours, I'm a tell you what. Yep, anyway you look at it Dan's gone won the blue ribbon with 'Assemblage Blues'. So pony up & have a slug.It's here to coddle your cream, but GOOD!

Roland Woodbe, Expert Mixologist

This is an edition of 500 lp's,includes free download card as well.PLEASE NOTE; a portion of all blog sales for this release will go to the Letha Melchior Donation fund.

Prices are;

15$ ppd USA
18$ ppd Canada
25$ ppd Europe
28$ ppd Australasia

Paypal to; sltrx@pil.net

http://melchiorfund.blogspot.com/

Kito-Mizukumi Rouber.....MIDORI MUSHI SAN CONNICHIWA 7"ep-GONE

SOLD OUT
Plucking Kito-Miukumi Rouber's lp out of an anonymous year end frying pan & into our Best Of 2009 fire seemed to confound toady taste makers & blog plonkers all around Hipster Haven. To them list's are a crucial element of.....something, & let's face it, peeps love list's. Sales are generated, no argument there. Why, I'd wager that ringing endorsement of 'Otonaki Touge De Hagureta Kmr' was instrumental in said lp essentially going from under the radar to out of print by early 2010. Fancy that!
And now here we are, almost a year later & Siltbreeze is proud to offer it's followup; a 5 track 7" ep entitled 'Midori Mushi San Connichiwa'. If your a fan of the lp, I can't possibly see how this won't be in your wheelhouse. For the unfamiliar, K-MR's sound seems informed by old school Japanese genre snuffers such as Tako & Gunjogacrayon. Combining the jabbering, pan humanoid outthereness of the former w/the zoned, riffed, mutant indifference of the latter, K-MR have created a toxic, dripping blotter of sound that is most appealing to those of us who luxuriate in the humidity of the 1%. Plus, as an added laugh (their's, mine, yours, ours) they've tacked on an eerie cover snippet that is a stab in the heart to every campfire singalong & folksy hootenanny through time immemorial. Absolutely tremendous! Released in an edition of 286 to commemorate the year in the Japanese calendar when a wise man went to see the Emperor about a horse.

A Defining Moment In Definitive.....MIKE REP & THE QUOTAS-Stupor Hiatus DBL LP OUT NOW!

Some of you may recall the 1st Mike Rep & The Quotas retro lp that saw the light of day in mid 1992 (entitled Stupor Hiatus Vol. II). Culled from tracks spanning 1975 to roughly 1989, that release snakebit more than a few forward thinking pinetops w/it's baffling French themed jacket art (swiped from an extant Franco dollar bin staple) + the post Third Republic lyric translations. C'est quoi ce merdier ? And how many of you knew WHAT the 1st Stupor Hiatus was anyway (answer; an early 80's 1 issue fanzine published by Mike Rep, Jim Shepard & assorted friends. Your welcome)? But as we're fond of saying around these parts "It's Mike Rep....you want logic, beam down Mr. Spock".
Anyway, cut to 18 yrs later & finally a return to form; all the tracks previously available on the aforementioned lp + FIVE other obscure (& some previously unreleased) gems now in glorious Rep-Fi & a sweet gatefold jacket to boot. It is as it should have been all along. Also includes a free download card as well. Limited edition of 1000, prices are as follows;

US-20$ PPD
Canada-23$ PPD
Elsewhere-30$ PPD

Paypal to; sltrx@pil.net

Chickens 'Chicken Shit' 7" ep GONE!!

OUT OF PRINT
Debut vinyl outing from Kyle & Mike (2/3rds FNU Ronnies + drum machine) following a cassette on Fan Death as well as a track contrib on last years Skulls Without Borders 10" comp. Cant say for certain where Chickens mine the toxic ore to forge their urk, but they uncannily tap into similar staub once snuffed by prime Euro movers such as early Dieter Meier & Geisterfahrer not to mention channeling the nascent vibe of Amphetamine Reptile (think Halo Of Of Flies Insecticide Stomp in particular). 4 tracks, 1 time edition of 400, no repress.

Puffy Areolas 'In The Army 1981' LP Now Available!

Finally,from the land of noxious hotdogs comes the debut long player by Puffy Areolas, entitled 'In The Army 1981'. Complete & utter blackout rock, like a showdown in Tony Packo's between Monoshock & Tales Of Terror. There's no losers here folks, only weiners. Get it?
Seriously, this lp rips the scab off the end of 'Raw Power' & envisions a world of Bosch-like carnality where 'Death Trip' doesn't finish, it get's a second wind. Then a third. Is it me or are these guys just too good?! Comes w/a free download card geared to build character & strength. Not really, but you can use that as an excuse when you get Pantsed at the kegger. Just pretend your the singer. He does.


Prices are;

US-15$ PPD lp

Canada-18$ PPD lp

Elsewhere-25$ PPD lp.

Lp only on this dude, sorry.

Paypal to; sltrx@pil.net

Naked On The Vague's 'Heaps Of Nothing' Now Available!

Don't know why it's taken me so damned long to post these! But here they are; 1st up in the new lp, 'Heaps Of Nothing' by Naked On The Vague. Lucy & Matthew went & got themselves a real band this time, the result being a more menacing, mystifying & morose masterwork. When asked the age old question, ("what's it sound like"?) I keep tellin folks; "Imagine if 'We Buy A Hammer For Daddy' had been a release on Xpressway'? It's weird,like they've gone & blacked out the sun. You'll love it! Really, an excellent followup to their S/T debut from a couple yrs back. Prices as follows;

US-15$ PPD lp

Canada-18$ PPD lp

Elsewhere-25$ PPD lp

If anyone out there's looking for review copies, I have cd's. Just drop an email.

Paypal to; sltrx@pil.net

Email to; siltbreeze@gmail.com

Take Some Urban Noise With Some Durban Poison.....New LP From Mount Carmel Now Available!

Here's the debut of a new Columbus trio called Mount Carmel. However, these guys don't shake the same tree as Psychedelic Horseshit, Times New Viking or ANY of the Washington Beach Indie posse frankly. Mount Carmel are a straight ahead Blues Rock power trio, so if your yen is whetted by the likes of Cream & Groundhogs, or other stalwarts such as Humble Pie or Free, this boat will accommodate you with 1st class lodgings friend. This is no frills, nor is it ironic posturing ala Sub Pop Grunge, or a goofoff side jaunt between their serious Noise projects. An excellent review here spells it out even more;
http://still-single.tumblr.com/post/555129452/mount-carmel-s-t-lp-siltbreeze

Just remember; flares rhymes with hares. So if your feeling a bit rabbity about taking the plunge, that's cool. You might wanna wait till your bud w/the Che cap & Munchkin beard fills you in on 'what it's all about'. It's a fickle old world out there in Hipsterville. Hard to know if this'll be the next big thing or not. Until it is. Remember, you heard it here, __________.


Prices as follows (LP only);
US-15$ ppd
Canada-18$ ppd
Elsewhere-25$ ppd

paypal orders to; sltrx@pil.net


Wholesale orders please contact www.midheaven.com for further info.

THE C&B, Pre SHADOW RING Recordings 7" ep.....GONE!

OUT OF PRINT
The C&B is short for Cat & Bells Club, a brief precursor that would soon be transformed into the inestimable poetics of The Shadow Ring. Studious fans of the band's releases may recognize this name from the whimsical word search found on the back cover of their 1995 7', 'Some Of Us'. Ah, finally; mystery solved & now all the ducks are on the pond.
While early Shadow Ring managed to fuse equal parts Tyrannosaurus Rex mystical recitations w/Throbbing Gristle aural idolatry, The C&B seem divinely born out of the sputtering taps of brown ale that flowed freely down the gullets of various 1st generation DIY shufflers, most notably, 49 Americans or Door And The Window. And while this is just dumb luck, there's no denying a genus, unintentional as it may be. The templates for the ruminative, droll & original wordsmithing not to mention the threadbare musical accompaniment that would soon become the hallmark for The Shadow Ring sound are now available for the 1st time ever in a 300 press 7", 4 track ep. Original artwork by founding member, Graham Lambkin.

Jim Shepard 'Picking Through The Wreckage With A Stick' lp.....SOLD OUT

It's been curious to see the recent frenzied interest in all things Jim Shepard & along the way, a new blog has been set up dedicated soley to his works called 'Forever Lowman'
www. foreverlowman.blogspot.com
So fans of Jim, V-3, Vertical Slit, go & check it out. It's not a merch site, but if your looking to fill the (many, surely) gaps in his discography digitally, this is the place.
That said, while rearranging a basement full of neglected overstock, I recently came across a box of Jim Shepard's 'Pick Through The Wreckage With A Stick' lp's. I'd all but forgotten their existence; they were over runs from the pressing plant, a few I recall using for radio promo's when it was released in 1995. We didn't have enough covers for them, so just the stations call letters were written on the front of some blank jackets & a cheap printed song list was copied & affixed to the back, done. We sent off a few, the rest went into a plastic tub & filed for posterity. And today, posterity came knockin.
So here's the deal; I have 22 copies of the lp; original pressing, clean, pristine vinyl, never played. I made some mockup color covers from an original copy (these were screened & spray painted by Jim back then) for the front & b/w copies of the back + reprinted the 2 sided insert that came w/original edition. There's photo's left & above (sans insert, but it'll be in the jacket) of what I'm talking about.

Sorry, SOLD OUT.

U.S. GIRLS....European Tour Underway!

U.S. Girls extensive European tour is already going, here's a schedule of upcoming shows. Catch her if you can! Also, new lp, GOING GREY is now on sale, 15$ppd US, 18$ Canada, 25$ elsewhere. Paypal to; sltrx@pil.net
Distributors, go to www.midheaven.com for wholesale requests.
And check out this swank vid for 'Red Ford Radio;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBgWNWZQhgo

US GIRLS EUROPEAN TOUR DATES;
Feb 1 @ La Suite / Paris
Feb 2 @ Raymond Bar / Clermont-Ferrand
Feb 3 @ Grrrndzero / Lyon
Feb 4 @ WORM / Rotterdam
Feb 5 @ Scheld’apen / Antwerp
Feb 6 @ OCCII / Amsterdam
Feb 7 @ ZAKK / Bremen
Feb 9 @ Bis Aufs Messer / Berlin
Feb 11 @ Klub 007 Strahov /Prague
Feb 12 @ Kafe Kult / Munich
Feb 13 @ Dal Verme / Rome
Feb 14 @ Zuni / Ferrara
Feb 16 @ Flat / Mestre
Feb 17 @ Hundebiss Secret Place / Milan
Feb 18 @ La Faena / Madrid
Feb 19 @ ZDB / Lisbon
Feb 20 @ TBA / Coimbra
Feb 22 @ Sex Is Disgusting / Brighton
Feb 23 @ Chameleon / Nottingham
Feb 24 @ The Head Of Steam / Newcastle
Feb 25 @ 13th Note / Glasgow
Feb 26 @ Ordinary Days / Belfast
Feb 27 @ Thomas House / Dublin
Feb 28 @ The Victoria / Birmingham
Mar 1 @ Cafe OTO / London
Mar 3 @ TBA / Copenhagen
Mar 4 @ Singsang / Malmo
Mar 5 @ Aktör & Vänner / Göthenburg
Mar 6 @ TBA / Stockholm
Mar 8 @ TBA / Helsinki
Mar 9 @ TBA / Tampere

But Your Rock Candy, Baby.....A Big One & A Small One

Up till now what I's heard from Heather Leigh Murray ain't been much-that old Ash Castles cd from way back & a solo guitar lp from a yr or so ago, which I liked fine-nor could I say that my Chris Corsano collection is buldgin at the hips neither. But there ain't nothin that he ain't thumped that didn't sound hell bent & alls I do know's about Ms. Murray for sure is that she's in it for keeps, so'd I figured this duo collab what they call Jailbreak was gonna be a burner. But man, I wasn't expectin it to scream with flashbacks! The second that peddle steel cranked up in open D, it was like I was transported back to a Montose concert in late 74. I think it was w/Tull (coulda been Doobie Bros., to be honest,back then I'd see about anything) but it's alls a haze. It was frustratin times, just like now; Nixon had resigned & Ford was president, we's was in the midst of a recession as well as a war what was windin to a close, but thankfully the grass was cheap & there was plently of pills floodin the scene. I was livin in San Diego, done rotated outta the shit & cut loose from active service, so's I was lookin for good times & more's the merrier. Long story short; this Montrose's set. I'd gone down to the Sports Arena to meet some Marine buds, but got waylaid by some skimpy gal name've Toni-Jo what beguiled me w/Ripple, donkey d sticks've Mexi-bud & my 1st encounter w/a Quaalude. I knowed the 714 was supposed to create euphoria, but horned in a room-no matter how big- w/ so much active human debris, already tootled on rag 'n rot (me that is), it was gonna be anybody's call. Anyhow, back to the action, 2010; when Ms Murray rips open this lp called 'The Rocker' , she might as have been rakin them strings across the inside of my skull. There I was fightin the infernal racket w/everything I could muster, yet diggin it all the time. It was 'Bad Motor Scooter' live all over again. Ronnie was tearin into that intro back on that eventful night in Seven-Four; brain cells was meltin, worlds was collidin, the chickens of future past was comin home to roost. It was the kind've mental torture what'd make a Chinese brainwasher cream in his little red book! All's through 'Brought Down' (aka side 1) the air become thick & smelled of sweat 'n the sweet smoke of banana papers/ dirt cheeb fusin into the atmosphere. I had a damn-the-gravity feelin too, just like that 'lude had did me. Everything was movin so fast it was slowin down into practically individual snapshots of my personal demise. The wine was turnin over in my stomach, there was the distinct burnin sensation of vomit in the back of my throat. 'Cept all's I'd had was a Fresca 'n some pear cake. Then Corsano's drum's thunder into the fray like a cavalry charge. He might as well have been a thousand Denny Camassi's tubbin at once. I was knocked to my knees & for a moment I swear I could feel the soft caress of a woman's hand move gently across my tomented head. "Toni Jo!", I cried, "for fuck's sake, do not abandon me in this wonderous carnage"! I was beginnin to think that cake had growed some ergot (it'd been sittin out a while), no other explanation added up. Every now & again, I'd make out some vocals. "The Rocker" I said to myself, starin at the record cover, strugglin to hold on, "not the Red Rocker". It become a mantra & truth be told, I'd wager it's what anchored me. I was drenched in perspiration, just wetter'n an otter's pocket when the side came to an end. As for the flip (aka 'Sugar Blues), shit, that was tame in comparison; just your average North Vietnamese rocket attack where's these 2 simulate incomin rounds of mortars 'n whatnot. After what I'd just been through, I was happy to take cover behind the couch & let it play itself out. Given the choice, I'd take hittin the dirt while Katyusha missles blowed up around me to cleanin up 35 year old rancid puke what's been lodged loose by a couple've free wheelin karma dealers. I can't speak for nobody but myself but this record really shook ol' Roland Woodbe to his core. Maybe you's is made of stronger stuff, find out here;
www.family-vineyard.com


Willie Lane up & self released a fine solo lp last year that I ain't got around to reviewin but has been told by the source himself they ain't to had no more, no ways. So that settles that. Hope anyone out there what's ken glints towards the core of a Sandy Bull galaxy was able to bring home a copy've 'Known Quantity' & burn it into their cranial cosmos. Now he's gone & put out this most excellent 7", 'Arrested For Decay'/'Sleepy Hands', again on Cord Art & it's easily my favorite little record thus far in this wee year. These two works spark 'n flare with Jesus Acedo like motif's, the harmonic's & melodies on both sides fan glowin embers've desert ragas that seem psychonautically informed via moments found within grooves one might encounter on the 1st Black Sun Ensemble lp. Even the sleeve art...looks...vaguely...Why, the whole thing is a goddamn Pyknotic conundrum I tell ya! Hand numbered edition of 350 & once the words out, not even the snappiest department store Santa'll have a chance at it. Available stateside at; www.mimaroglumusicsales.com & elsewhere via; www.volcanictongue.com

Two-Won,One-Tood.....3 More Thoughts.

I'm one of them guys that just don't get no amusement out've the word, Penis. Yep, don't think it's funny, never have. So's bands like Afternoon Penis, or Broken Penis Orchestra, them releases got cursory listens & then was filed into one of my billions've 'no thanks' galaxies. Call me a prude, hey, call me whatever you's will. That said, I never thought Dick Urine was that funny either. In defense I'd admit to bein an avid Rudimentary Peni fan, as much for their music as the ridiculous latin turn-of-phrase.But them's salt's to be soaked another time, what I's tryin to get at is when this feller Fred told about an lp of careless Peugeot drivers from Mulhouse what call themselves Micro Penis, well, I didn't exactly get wood, if you catch my drift.But then it showed up,and,well.....I had to admire the Nick Blinko-esque artwork & packagin, but also wonderin that if I just ignored it, might I be (whew!) dodgin some Peni inspired crud-core bullet (low expectations 'n all). But a glimpse onto their 1 sheet & a spied reference to Cromagnon's "Ritual Feast Of The Libido" & then I was suddenly piqued. After all, if you's is pullin out them guns, you better not be hornswogglin. And thankfully it ain't. Sure, it's brimmin w/the inscrutable art brut, cut up, sound collage dadaistry so primitif & splendid in the current wave've contempo French underground (El G & Oso El Roto for example). But unlike them phlegm chewers, Micro Penis stay the path of "organic" aural lobe snippage (ala Cromagnon) w/o any use of standard musical templates, be it blues, rock're what have you. This dude just beltches up the gut gas, refluxes that're both psychedelic 'n psychotronic, like if Fille Qui Mousse's 'Trixie Stapleton 291' mugged it up with Hershel Gordon Lewis' 'Blood Feast'. It's hairy, improbable, preposterously deranged & just the slightest bit sinister enough to make you think "this can't be happening to me". Oh, but it is! The perfect aural influenza for your next slumber party, choke on it here; www.rrrecords.com or direct to; http://virb.com/micro_penis

Lookin at this Work/Piles split lp I was wonderin how they's was able to afford such substandard Pettibon cover art. But then I realized it weren't his, or so it says in the insert. Truth be told, I was kind've relieved, as most of Ray's work what's not SST insinuated has been for some real less than lesser acts. And if a picture's worth a thousand words, well, I done got diarrhea of the mouth! Anyhows, it's the music what we's after, correct?. But, but, but…. Work is some (wait for it) out of work noise artists who I reckon thought they's could slum it as lo-fi No Wavers & it wouldn't surprise me none to find it's fooled some. Sure, it' got all the right trappings-short songs, punch, vim, vinegar, man, woman-but it just seems so obviously connect the dots that one can't help but laugh or ignore it. And I did, one after the other.
Piles is a 'nother kettle of fish, though I ain't sayin they's keepers. Same masculine/feminine dynamic (for lack of a better term) but an altogether stylistically hackneyed, going for it, outsider result; a snort've Billy Synth, a bump've Leslie Q, you get it, right? Gone is the days wheres I could listen to others thump a chest proclaimin which LQ lp was best. And then it was genuine appraisal, but it weren't no more interestin (to me) than Piles clumsy, organ chorglin enzymes that could. Or perhaps conjure up what you can recall from early Guv'ner, but nowadays a version most likely to inhale a burrito than inherit a trustfund.Ya hear me? But it's alls about who you know 'n like I said, there's some what's plum ecstatic by the tired warbles've both entries. And that's ok. They can feed the birds their way, I'll feed'em the truth. Ding!
www.myspace.com/workishard & www.myspace.com/pilessf


Been recievin more'n my share've emails from folks askin me my thoughts about Bill Orcutt's new lp. That & sendin me recaps've lengthy pastey-pie reviews & dandy doodle retorts. Shit, lookin at all the fancy name droppin & arid commentary, it kinda took me back to one of them Norman Mailer/Gore Vidal spats on David Susskind! That & them editorial hissy fits what Phillip Rahv 'n Delmore Schwartz'd get into at the Partisan Review. No matter high up the brow you get, it's never not entertainin.
But that's them. As for me, I'm sizin up 'A New Way To Pay Old Debts' from a number've angles, a somewhat modernized Pincer Movement you might say. First, it's hard not to give it a broad (yet accurate) stroke as Harry Pussy Unplugged. Cheap as that assessment might be, it's hard to deny.And what's wrong w/that? They was as formidable & broke down the genus of Rock as much as Blll does here to Blues (which begets____). Bearin that in mind, it's sort've like them Planet Of The Apes movies, you know, where the present is the future & you have to work backwards to see how it all came to pass. Right? Sounds good to me!
Or just dump it in the lap've Rabelais, THEE greatest satirist of all time. That same sort've reverse narrative skippers the Gargantua books. Ye, lest I get tangential, what I'm harpin on is whiles some of these string benders can be downright "Catholic" in technique 'n delivery, I sees this lp as an embodiment of the 'Do What Thou Wilt' sentiment expressed by Pantagruel & his buds. Some's find it astonishing. Me? I'm enlightened. And (at times) amused. Dr. Orcutt cuts a plucky rug as a regular goddamn Neo-Renaissance humanist. But I wouldn't expect anything less.
And there's the whole Archangel notion; various sacred pickers 'n players metaphored as Gabriel, Michael, Raphael, Uriel (benders to halo's of your choosin), etc. Go ahead, call'em out; Fahey, Reichel, Bailey, Hopkins, it ain't like I's come up w/this on my own. Hell, (get it?), I'm taken ol' Bill here as Lucifer. Not that he's been cast out've nowhere, in fact, it would appear that the Huggers of Hollowbody Heaven can't behold him enough! But there's somethin devilish in the playin on this & you don't have to be no Father Merrin to hear them licks.
An that's alls I got to say on this tater. I know it's just a bunch've bugaboo, but ya gotta admit, it beats workin for a livin!
So dig this; A New Way To Pay Old Depts. It's a fine record, whether you get it or not.
http://palilalia.com/

We'll Always Have Entebbe.....A Couple Reviews By An Old Friend!

Due to some matters of national importance (more or less), I's been called away to help keep our necks red, the majority white & beer blue. So's I have left this blog in the capable hands of my good friend & comrade, Olatunbosun Olabode. We's go way back, as I'm sure he'll prattle on about somewhere's in his meanderin.He's a mite on the jovial side too, but hell, what kinda sonofabitch would I be if I wrangled in a fella for laughin?, A no good one, that's what! Anyway, see you's on the flip & don't forget; Freut euch des Lebens!
Your Editor,
Roland Woodbe

Haha, a big HELLO all the readers of Roland Woodbe blog. Maybe you know, but Roland Woodbe is GREAT facilitator for contemporary sounds of music. For him to ask me to fill those shoes, I could not say no, but also cannot hope to walk many miles in them either. I will tread slowly & for this, I hope you can understand.
I 1st meet Mr. Woodbe many yrs ago in Kampala, Uganda, where we were both working (or in Woodbe's case, spying, haha!) in the court of His Excellency, Idi Amin Dada. I was an attaché to the Minister of Health, one Henry Kyemba. Mr. Woodbe befriended me (his grasp on the Nubian dialect is outstanding) & we shared many wonderful occasions back then. His Excellency at the time was far removed from the monster he would soon become. We used to love it when, in the wee hrs of morning, just before the break of dawn, Amin would rest his Johnny Walker & begin his series of hilarious impersonations. If I would close my eyes when he would do Ed Sullivan, I would feel like I was transported to CBS Studio 50, in New York City. Really, so perfect! And when he would play his little accordion & sing 'Wasted Day & Wasted Nights' in a Donald Duck accent, I could not see a dry eye in the palace. A very funny man. But his penchant for close talking (as well as mumbling & spittle) was the undoing. Yes, Amin was a close talker & his breath was abominable. Mr. Woodbe began to spread the rumor it was so because of cannibalism. It seemed funny at the time, but no one was laughing when heads began to roll. Perhaps it was so, I cannot substantiate the atrocities of a despot. I will go on record & say this-it would not have killed him to floss. But for a dear friend who advised His Excellency on doing so, he was not so fortunate. Amin explained the execution thusly " when you have no longer a head, flossing is the least of your worries". Roland Woodbe & I began our escape from Uganda immediately.
I am now employed as a taxi driver. By chance I was at Philadelphia Airport a few months ago when who should sit in my cab but this old friend! We were very much surprised to be in each other's company again, please believe this. He told me of the Siltbreeze label & this Siltblog & when I arrived him at the requested destination, he asked me to hold on & returned to my taxi w/a parcel of cd's & records for my ownership. Of course, I have become a fan of Siltbreeze, so many wonderful treasures from this imprint that have shaken my ears. If I were asked for favorite, I could only reply "THEM ALL", hahahaha!
But my friend Roland Woodbe said he might be compelled to call upon my services one day. I said of course & it was with this understanding I am now writing to you, his readers. I hope you will appreciate my contribution.

Olatunbosun Olabode
Camden, NJ 2010


I cannot say I have had the good fortune to come across the work of Mr. Leo Coomans in the past. He would seem to be a particle, almost a footnote to the Free Improvisation scene of the Low Countries by way of a discography (prior to this,participation on 1 lp + a 7"). So it has been with much enthusiasm that I have embraced his remarkable solo lp out now on the Ultra Eczema label, entitled 'Basement Recordings 1978-1982'. For many of the 80's I lived in Bay Area of Northern California & made the acquaintance of an astute record seller by the name of Rick Ballard. He would order me many different records of Improvisation & Jazz. I would say some of my favorites were from a label called Instant Composers Pool, which was based out of The Netherlands. One of the main participants, Han Bennink, seemed equal parts intensity & playfulness. His music incorporated not only the new jazzing stylings that were free, but also the minimalist experimentations of John Cage as well as the anti-art, Dadaist sentiments of the Fluxus movement. So a real everything-and-the-kitchen-sink cacaphony might ensue on his recordings. Or perhaps he & fellow collaborators would walk, talk, whistle, make sounds of wind whipping in motion,imbibe, play ping pong, or simply fall silent. It was all fair game & astonishingly great. And that holds true on this Leo Coomans record. As stated, these are private recordings from the artist dated 78-82 & his aural canvas is alive with great splotches of aerosol & voice, saxophones (tubed, soprano & baritone), saxphone mouthpieces, bath tub's, vacuum cleaners, it's accessories, harmonica,tape recorder, piano & more voice. Interestlingly, the 1st track, "Aerosol' sounds like mutant Stockhausen while the final cut, a ludicrous deconstruction of that tired standby, 'Louie, Louie', that makes the Half Japanese version (as smidgen as it is, hahahaha!) sound like John Philip Sousa in comparison. So you see, it begins in an inner space only to end in one that is outer.Or should I say, outre? HAHAHAHAHA, I don't care! This is a truly wonderful record, the work of a gifted, unbridled musician whose wit (& talent) runs the gamut of rapier to the absurd. Please contact the following mailorders for possibility of purchase, only 300 available worldwide;
www.mimaroglumusicsales.com or www.forcedexposure.com & direct to; www.ultraeczema.com



And while my brain is full & conjuring up sounds within a jazz milieu I would like to say a few things on behalf of a greatly overlooked lp by Liquorball w/Steve Mackay entitled 'Evolutionary Squalor', self released by Grady Runyan on Rocketship Records. Hahahahahaha, no one can peg Liquorball as sounding like any one particular band. In the 90's they were able to dexterously walk over the coals of thud rock ('Fucks The Sky'), exude billowing plumes of carburetor ingested dronabinol ('Hauls Ass') or raise greasy, psychedelic hackles that resembled down syndrome Fushitsusha ('Live In Hitlers Bunker') to a small but dedicated following. The more things change, the more they stay the same as it would appear Liquorball is playing to their tried & true but I would like to say some words & maybe it might open certain ears & wallets. After all, membership has it's privileges, hahahahahaha!
Of course the main frame of reference on 'Evolutionary Squalor' is the participation of Steve Mackay. I'm sure Mr. Mackay is known to the readers here, so no need to state the obvious. What is interesting on this lp is how Mackay & Liquorball-with the help of Jason Biggs, Gordon Roberts & Conchobhar-corral a sound that insinuates (at once) Last Exit, (the French) Red Noise & Ray Russell. It is fusion, improvisation & progression all bearing down, all honking, quivering, shimmering & reverberating. As with the Leo Coomans lp, these are musicians who do not follow trends, but march & compose to the beat of their own ears & brains. It is quite mesmerizing, this 'Evolutionary Squalor'. And the name Liquorball…..hahahahahaha, I can think of some appropriate concoctions to go along with these aggressive lords of skronk. In fact, I have many times already brusied my hollow leg and lost my thinking cap while drinking generously from my stash of imported Wagari while spinning this. They say rum's don't kill people, banana's do. In the case of Wagari, it is both! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Please feel welcome to buy this lp direct from www.myspace.com/gradysrecordrefuge or email grefuge@sbcglobal.net to check availability.

Goodness, will you look at the time? I have a taxi to drive, so I must be on my way. Thanks to Mr. Roland Woodbe for letting me sit in, I hope you have enjoyed my two cents. See you in the rain, hahahahahahaha!

Mickey Goodmill Never Did This.....An Invisible Jukebox. Sort Of.

Whiles out on my morning jog (new years resolutions 'n alls) I came up on these 2 goobs just off East Lehigh & up Memphis what was sittin in a car huffin glue. Normally I wouldn't give 2 shits about this kinda thing, but the car was still runnin & as I got's right on'em I could clearly make out 'Summer Things'. They was blarin the Tyvek cd & gettin sauced! So bein an officer of the law like I sort've am- strictly rogue capacity on this-I flashed some offical lookin shit & scared they's little toasted noses almost plum off their muddled heads. But after I got my jollies funnin w/'em I invited'em back to do some record reviewin. I's jusy don't have it in me to breakdown alls these 7" records what's flooded in, so's let me introduce you's all to Doug Colson & Arch Clarrey, 2 of the Fishtown's finest.

Doug Colson-So whats youse got ta drink 'round here? (Opens the fridge, picks up a bottle of Chesterfield Ale) Oh look Arch, it's da Lord. Yo Roland, mind if we's helps ourselves?

SILTBREEZE MODERATOR-Not at all, my pleasure.

DC-(grabs & opens 2 beers, kicks closed the fridge w/the back of his foot) Your right (hands Clarrey a beer) it is your pleasure! (they laugh & fistbump each other)

SILTBLOG MODERATOR-Have a seat you two (Woodbe & the boys all sit around the kitchen table, then Woodbe goes over to turntable & play the 1st record).

Population 1280-Bedbugs/Times Square (self released)

Arch Clarrey-Oh dear, theres dat hulkin bass & spidery guitar. Somebody's got a Birthday Party record.

DC-Oh yea, 'cept nems vocals 'n lyrics is too serious. At least Nick Cave an Anita Lane wrote some funny songs. Absurd youse might say.

AC-Oh yea, nems is too serious for sure. On second thought, it's more like The Moodists. Like 'Thirsty's Callin', minus nems horns.

DC-Good one Arch (he reaches over table, they clink bottles), guy even sound like Dave Graney too. Youse know what else theys like? (Pauses, takes a long pull on his beer, sets it down & crosses hs arms) Inca Babies.

AC (almost does a spit take, recovers ) Oh my God Dougie, youse taken me back wit dat one (they high five each other)! Fuckin Inca Babies, jesus. Wow, nems is for the da ages dere, dey was like a Birthday Party Tribute band. Inca Babies….So Roland where's dis Population 1280 band from? Texas, like in the book?

SILTBLOG MODERATOR-No Brooklyn.

AC/DC (in unison) Oh.

AC-In that case nems is totally original. Every band up dere is.

DC-Yea, nems bands up dere, well, what can youse say, it's the biggest suburb in New York. Play somethin from somewhere else. I ain't one much for suburbs.
(www.myspace.com/population1280)

Puffy Areolas-Lutzko Lives/Bowel Movement (Columbus Discount)

AC (listening close) I gots ta say, nems is totally unhinged. Is this on Mystic?

SILTBLOG MODERATOR-No, they're a current band, it's Puffy Areolas, from Ohio.

DC-Whose this Lutzko? Must be a Zombie or a biker or sumthin. It says "Lutzko Lives' like he was meant to be dead but ain't. I know a few of nems round here (laughs, fistbumps Clarrey)

AC-Yea, the singers got a creepy little voice, like Chuckie & nat one nat sings for Mentally Ill.

DC-Your right! It's a good tune, but this Bowel Movemnt one, deys lost me der.

AC- Could be about heroin? Or nems Dilaudids. Nems'll really bind ya up. Takin a dump is like heaven!

DC-Oh yea, could be, I sees what youse sayin. Yea, that voice made it sound sorta "inside", likes it was alls a joke. Raven it says….is he like Zackerly or the Ghoul?

SILTBLOG MODERATOR-Not exactly. He's sort've a cult hero to some. Psych guitar player, etc. Made a private press lp that's very big w/the Acid Archives crowd.

DC-Oh yea? Hey, youse drive me back overs to my place & I'll show youse some acid archives (much laughter, high fives & finger pistols abound)!
www.columbusdiscountrecords.com

Pheromoans-Open For Business ep (Yakisakana)

DC (picks up the sleeve, has a long look, pulls on his beer, sighs) I reckon any British band what's gonna hiccup along the Country & Northern scheme've can't keeps but to sound like a little Link Wray & nems Falls. In a way nems Falls ruined it for everybody else, back in the day anyways. Theys was so unique & cut off from alls the rest over dere. Marchin to the beat of nems own drums 'n all.

AC (slides the sleeve over for a look, pushes it away) Yea, but these fellas ain't exactly like that is dey? I mean, nems got their own sound. It's kinda wobbly, kinda jerky, like a combo of speed & lager. Like a functional alchoholic methhead givin a presentation.Like Dougie here (laughs & zips a bottle cap across the room at DC).

DC-Oh yea (makes mock laughing face), well your Mom don't seem to have a problem w/it (laughs & points finger at Clarrey), least not last night no ways. But yea, I sees what Arch is sayin. Is it gonna be that every good band that steps sideways over there in England is gonna have to be called the new Fall? Fuck that! Nems Pheromoans got a good sound & sure, maybe nems owe a debt to MES & co., but then why not dissect every band whats listened to a Velvet Undergound record while we's at it? Or Beatles? Jesus H. Christ on the fuckin cross, let's just take it all back to Bill Haley & nems Comets. It's all their fault.

AC-Fuck the 50's! Yea, an fuck Richie Cunningham! Potsie…..I bet he sat on it every chance he got (laughs).

DC-(laughing) I got somethin Joanie can sit on right here (points both index fingers towards his crotch).

AC-I hear ya Dougie! (they fistbump).
www.myspace.com/pheromoans


The Get Offs-Airplane Fight/Drunk (no label)

AC-Hey, two things we's love to do (laughs), right Dougie?

DC-Oh yea. But nowadays, getting into an airplane fight's worse than sucker punchin a Giants fan at nems Eagles game.

AC-(takes in the 1st song) I like nems Get Offs. It's gotta super amateur sound on the Airplane Fight song for sure. Way mores hetero than Beat Happening, sorta like Pastels if they'd made a record for Rip Off.

DC (whistles loudly) Bravo Arch, youse really pulled one outta yr ass on dat one. I hear ya! The 'Drunk' song sounds like a mysterious Ron House band after Great Plains & before nems Slave Apartments.

AC (returning from fridge w/2 new bottles of beer) I'll drink to that! (they clink bottles).
(johnny@midheaven.com)

Adam Payne-Maybelline Weeks ep (Malt Duck)

DC (listens intently as the 1st side plays through) Yo Roland, youse sayin this guy is from Residual Echoes?

SILTBLOG MODERATOR-Yes, but that was a while ago.

DC- I guess so! This is some real DIY pop goin on, like a bizarre cross between Flying Nun & SST.

AC-Oh yea, like nems Angst meets the Clean!

DC-It kinda blows whats all nems novice critics claimin alls these new bands is like the Clean. Most of it's pure shit, but youse gotta admit, on here Arch's got a valid claim.

AC-I ain't sayin I WANT it to be like that. But it is! Ain't no denyin it. Listen to that b-side, it's like he morphed Tally Ho 'n Oddity into one song.

DC-Well, I hear whats lots of kids is just now hearin some of that Flyin Nun stuff for the 1st time. But who's listenin to Angst nowadays?

AC-You mean besides you (winks, "shoots" Colson w/finger pistol)?

DC-Touche, douchebag. It ain't a bad record though, is it? Ain't the most original record I's ever heard, but hey, youse look at nems Clean & alls theys done. Nems is like the Marines, or 101st Airborne when it comes to pop music. This Adam Payne's more like…..the National Guard. It still defends!

AC-Or like one of nems rogue cops what gets his kicks harrassin plain ol' folks just tryin to have a good time. Like him (points at Roland Woodbe).

DC-Yea (breaks a beer bottle on the side of the table & waves it) maybe Mr. Undercover fuckin asshole here needs his fuckin ass kicked, right Arch? Wastin our mornin on this record bullshit….

SILTBLOG MODERATOR (Woodbe whips out a Glock 9mm pistol replete w/silencer & points it at the hoodlums) Let's wrap it up, whatya say fellas? Otherwise the only asses gettin kicked are gonna be the ones I shoot off your fuckin faces w/this pistol. Now get the fuck outta my house before I drop you's both & leave yr scag bodies to rot behind the Acme. Don't think this is a fuckin joke (RW aims pistol & cocks hammer. AC & DC run off the premises & down the street like they was shot out've a cannon. So much for singles roundup).

Moral Of This Story; Joggin is overrated. Join a gym. Or eat less or somethin. And not all glue sniffers is Tyvek fans. Some of'em prefer Eat Skull (Ding!) but I think that's more of a Kensington thing.
(www.maltduckrecords.com)

When Big Things Happen On Little Records.....Some 7" Reviews

Examinin the insides of the Placenta Popeye/Reverse Mouth 7" I's seen where the 'Cent Pops was French so I reckoned I was in for some Dustbreeders like harshness. Not so, instead these merde slingers is more like a robust mirepoix of Dead C, Michio Kadotani Band & Sic Alps braisin talent dunt into ear dinner. Reverse Mouth also make some good aural zorp & w/ Cabaret Voltaire b-side elan, conjure up a séance where an immanent deity does a standup bit about Aleister Crowley's bad breath. Don't get too close! Entitled 'Baby Blues Kids' (the split itself, not that track) I really was expectin this to suck some serious Industrial ass, but it's pretty damn neat, so hooray. Numbered edition of 400, available through; www.tediumhouse.com , www.midheaven.com


Remember how there was that whole Hawkwind trend w/bands in the 90's? No, too young you say? Well it happened & might still be goin on, I don't know. Don't get me wrong, it was fun-most of the time-but after a spell, it got tired. What? Whaddya call me? Sorry, I's got someone on my intercom askin me for money. If I was "in the field" I could just shoot'em, drop'em in a ditch & that'd be the end of it. But uh... where were we?
Oh, I gotta tell you's I was one happy psy-ops motherfucker when I got this Glitter Wizard, 'Black Lotus/Witch's Limbo' 7" in the mail & had me a big heap've Deep Purple blues rock explosion all over my turntable. Maybe you don't think Deep Purple is cool. But then if you knowed about half what I does, you'd be doin this blog instead of me. And w/that smidgen've knowledge, getting a brand new 7" what sounds like a sideways sonicstruction of 'Highway Star' b/w 'Maybe I'm A Leo' would be almost as boss as getting an eightball've coke & twin strippers for your 60th birthday. That's right. Listenin now, punk? Sure, I've heard talk've Monster Magnets, which reminds me; there weren't no bigger Monster Magnets than Deep Purple in their prime. Unless it's Glitter Wizard. NOW. I think we're done here. Now put that cock in your mouth & get back to work.
www.myspace.com/glitterwizard

True Story; Someones picked up a copy of this 7" for me whiles they was on vacation down in Sydney, we're talkin 6-8 months ago. Now theys don't live here in the Fishown, or even Phila, but not so far away that they couldn't just send it in the mail . What would it cost, 3 bucks? But they never seemed to have an extra 3$ for their ol bud, Roland Seward Woodbe. Hell, theys even stopped around since, TOLD me about the record (& how they'd forgotten it, can you believe it?) & at that point I squeezed 5$ in their pauper paws & said "just send it". Come to find they spent that money on a Ped Egg (you can't make this stuff up). Theys was just stringin me along. So long story short; I finally got it (I even paid for the funeral)-& boy was it worth the wait! The ping pong male/female vocals IS Icarusly close to the Royal Trux sun, but Circle Pit's stripped away any Glimmer Twin worship from their hopped up trouble psych & its lead guitarist Angela Bermuda what fuels this fire w/gasoline. 'Total Waste' is a careening, reckless drive but it's the flip, 'Every Body Left' where the smell of buckshot & whiskey really permeates the landscape. An when she taps her foot onto that talent pedal, you just know their days as Koala petters is numbered. And from what Kevin Failure & Matt Horseshit has told me, the live spectacle's even more buff. Buckle up! Somebody oughta look into some distro on this'un, but quick. www.myspace.com/circlepit