Last post I mentioned this guy I know, Todd Blowbox, who fancies himself a fortune teller or mystic or some hogwash. Well, you can add THIEF to his list of accomplishments too! That's right, while he was stayin here he up & stole a couple new records what I had slated for review on account of the 'weird vibes' they was emittin off to him. The guy is a fuckin dingaling. Actually he's a friend of MG's, they worked together at some co-op & all's we knowed him by for a long time was Todd. But then we went bowlin w/him out to his old neighborhood in Upper Darby & all the bowlers was yellin at him 'IT'S TODD BLOWBOX'! & makin faces at him or laughin. It got Todd so upset we had to leave right before the 10th frame w/me bowlin a perfect game! Furious ain't the word for how I was feelin as he broke down & told his story as we rode the El back into town. I guess when he was a kid the older boys had this box they made w/holes cut out in it, they'd hijack Todd, put him in the box & make him.....hey, if you know the joke about the lumberjack & the barrel, it's along those lines.It was kind've disturbin to tell you the truth. His real name is Todd Brady but somehow that horrible nickname stuck (something about keepin it as a 'punk name' for a band he was in back in the 80's. I was tryin not to pay too much attention). He's a unique lookin fella too; real tall (I'd say about 6'5") & reed thin, he's got this one tooth that sorta stick out the right side of his mouth & he looks like a cross between John Waters & Dagwood Bumstead. He's a presence, that's for sure. Now all this time since I never called him Todd Blowbox to his face, but would use it as a clarifier if need be. You know, if someone said 'Todd who'? & it was him, I'd say 'Todd Blowbox'. Then they be like 'oh yeah, that guy'. But at some point not long ago he went through some transformation & got all metaphysical, was goin on about crystals & runes, tea leaves.....it was weird. So one day he says, 'R-Be, it's okay. I've accepted that I will forever be Todd Blowbox. It is my lot in life. Call it karma if you like, but it no longer bothers me. And I'm sorry about your perfect game that time. But you'll do it again. I saw it in the future". So cut to this past week; he shows up, needs a place to crash for a while, then up & leaves because he's not 'feelin the love' & on top of that, takes 2 records because of their 'projected aura'. Fuck him, I can't get a handle on it, but whatever, here's the note he left in lieu of a review. Thankfully we had a spare copy of the Eat Skull 7" stashed away or we could've kissed any photo reprint goodbye. Todd Blowbox.....he's gonna wish he was back in that thing if I ever see him again:
R-Be & Miriam-
Sorry to do this, but I have been battling the intensity of your space since I 1st arrived. There is a lot of hostile energy in that house, not the least of which was eminating from your cats. The one called Bormann actually took a shit in my toiletry bag. That sort of did it for me. I thought I might be able to ward off whatever bad mojo by playing one of your records, something that seemed positive. I had chosed the Sun Supreme lp without really checking out the artwork first. I thought it would be warm & positive. As it started to amble to life, I studied the cover design-which was incredibly transfixing-then the reverse, which sent shivvers up & down my spine. That room......it's very much a resemblance of that perverted box I was forced to sit in and...perform! And those initials.......the names were all coming back, I could almost smell the stench of their rotten Irish crotches; SS=Seamus Sweeney, LT or Liam Teagan, CG aka Craig Grogan, RT-Rory Wynn, AB is Austin Brody & worst of all, the one we called simply-ENNIS. He was evil personified. He put me in the box every day, sometimes more than once. My mouth was sore more than a few times from working overtime on ENNIS. My mother would beat me at home because I wouldn't eat dinner. How could I? My stomach was full! I couldn't concentrate on the music, it was making me lightheaded & faint. I swore I was hearing something akin to the Yanomamos ep or that Square 9 'Tsunami' lp but I just couldn't focus. The walls were closing in! So I've had to take this lp for further investigation. I also saw this 7" by a band called Eat Skull that was on the same label which I think is called Meds. I assure you, there are meds in MY future & by the sound of things on this ep, Eat Skull have ingested their share of meds as well. I can see what you mean by a Hole Class/'Tally Ho' filter, but really this is so depraved, it reminds me more of some sick fucking orgy between Ex Blank Ex & Chronic Sick. I mean I know it's Pop that's just sped up & buried to the max, but listen to 'Things I Did When I Dyed My Hair'& tell me you don't hear 'Your Full Of Shit' or 'Dress Code'. Your full of shit then! And that name.....I hope you have your lights on. Just thinking about it scares the holy f'n gosh gee willickers out of moi! You know what a band like Eat Skull is capable of? Girl Fights. Go ahead, laugh, but it's true. This kind of music just makes girls want to start sucker punching each other & I know you think it's funny, but when that happens, it's about the sorriest shit you could ever want to see. Eat Skull. Girls fights. Same difference, trust me.
The bottom line is thus; I wish I could say I borrowed these records but I didn't. That doesn't mean I stole them, just that your not getting them back. They are too weird & demented. Things are happening on both of them that is beyond either of your comprehesion level's. R-Be, I know you think your above such reproach but you are not. With those records in your collection you were in both mortal & spiritual danger. You might say they are too good to be allowed to be owned.There is only one thing to do with records like these & it's bury them.Bury them deep & very far away. Like in a desert. Or an old well. Perhaps burn them 1st. My crystal ball says that if music like this isn't located & contained soon, society as it is currently known is doomed. And that means no bowling, so you can kiss that 300 goodbye! I must find the maniac behind the Meds label & neutralize him/her immediately. It's the least I can do considering what I've heard. You can thank me later.
Here's hoping I'm not to late,
Todd 'Blowbox' Brady
(check out Eat Skull at; www.myspace.com/eatskull & purchase Meds releases directly from the source at; http://www.exiledrecords.com/ or via http://www.forcedexposure.com/ & http://www.fusetronsound.com/)